- Speak with James Garret at the Atomic Wrangler Casino to start the quest.
- Find the three "escorts" around town:
- A ghoul wearing a cowboy suit: Beatrix Russell in the Old Mormon Fort.
- A "smooth talker": Santiago or Old Ben. You can find Santiago at the back of the abandoned building right across from Mick & Ralph's shop, and Old Ben near the gate to the Strip.
- A "sex-bot": Fisto, can be found at Cerulean Robotics. If the player does not have a Science of 50 or higher, there is an access card inside a tool cabinet on the opposing wall of the terminal. Speak to Ralph at Mick & Ralph's about a holotape for the robot, then upload it into the computer at Cerulean to activate Fisto. The robot can also be programmed with a Science check of 60, bypassing the need to buy the holotape altogether.
- Return to James to finish the quest.
The quest begins by speaking to James Garrett, one of the Garret Twins, who are the owners of the Atomic Wrangler in Freeside. Ask James if he has any work for you, and he will propose that you find him suitable "escorts" for clientele with very specific interests. He has three unique requests: A ghoul dressed up in a cowboy suit, a smooth talker, and a robot.
Recruit a real ghoul cowboy
The ghoul wearing a cowboy outfit is Beatrix Russell at The Old Mormon Fort. Convincing her takes either a Speech check (35) or a Barter check (35), otherwise you can bribe her with a bottle of absinthe. When she agrees you can either head to the Atomic Wrangler to get paid for the first escort, or find the other two first.
Recruit a suave talker
The smooth talker can be either Santiago, one of the dead beats Francine Garret hires you to find in the quest Debt Collector, or Old Ben, the chatty stranger standing outside the North Gates to the Strip. To recruit Santiago, just ask. For Old Ben, you'll need 50 Speech or the Confirmed Bachelor or Black Widow perk. It is possible to get both smooth talkers to agree, however only one will give you the reward. If you chose Santiago AND Old Ben, Ben will show up at the Wrangler but you will receive no reward nor can you receive his services.
Recruit a sexbot
The robot is found at Cerulean Robotics (see that page for directions). There are a few giant rats inside, and the large assembly room contains a robot in stasis. The computer is an average hack (50 Science). There is a keycard to unlock the computer. It is behind an average lock on the far right cabinet in the assembly room. The key to this cabinet is on the floor in front of the television under the decayed corpse. Once in the computer, you must upload an operating program.
The robot can be programmed without the holotape if your Science skill is 60 or higher. After performing this upgrade in the factory, Fisto will offer a dialogue option to provide a 'service', if you accept no damage is done but you will complain about not being able to feel your legs.
Alternately, to get a holotape program to upload to the robot, visit Ralph at Mick & Ralph's. He will mention the robot at Cerulean, and then will agree to write the program for 150 caps, telling you it will take a couple days. If you have 50 Speech or 50 Barter however, he will make it for free, or if you have 35 Speech then it will only cost 100 caps. It will take about 24 game hours to be ready. Take the program back to Cerulean and upload it to the robot. It will power up and you will have a chance to "test it out". The screen goes dark and you can hear a peculiar drilling sound. After the 'testing' has ended, your character experiences numbness, which 'is normal'. Whether you choose to test it or not, you inform the sexbot that its owner is James Garret and it heads to the Atomic Wrangler.
With all three escorts found, head back to speak to James about your pay. This will finish the quest.
When exiting Cerulean Robotics the Courier is set upon by three old ladies (Maud's Muggers), armed with rolling pins, bright pink dresses, and a disdain for Couriers deciding the fate of New Vegas. There's no reasoning with them. This is a reference to the Monty Python skit "Hell's Grannies", a gang of elderly women.
The following is based on the Wild Wasteland trait and has not been confirmed by canon sources. End of information based on the Wild Wasteland trait.
- James' dialogue upon being informed about Fisto implies that it is for his own "interests".
- If you have bad reputation in Freeside you cannot complete this quest via holotape, as Ralph will refuse to talk to you, therefore not letting you buy the Holotape, but this can be combatted through paying James to boost your reputation. This can be circumvented by getting a Science of 60.
- You can talk both Santiago and Old Ben into taking the job, thus getting a bit more xp, but only one can take the job. (However both will be found at the Atomic Wrangler)
- When you report back to Garrett. If you chose Old Ben as the suave talker you'll get an additional 500 XP.
- ps3 If you reach the Atomic Wrangler before Fisto, he will appear right behind you.
- ps3 There is no need to protect or follow Fisto, he will arrive without being damaged, even though he is extremely slow.
- ps3 xbox360 If you ask Ralph for the holotape and then upload the program to Fisto by passing the Science check, the holotape will become stuck in your inventory as a quest item taking up a weight of 1.
- pc ps3 xbox360 If you obtained fisto the sexbot, everytime you talk to him but do not purchase his "goods" 10 bottlecaps will be added to your inventory.
- ps3 Once Fisto has left the building, if you try to head to the Old Mormon Fort the game may start lagging heavily and eventually freeze, forcing you to restart the console.
- ps3 Solution: Heading through a door leading to freeside first and then heading to the Old Mormon Fort. This should prevent any lagging or freezing.
Behind the scenes
- The name of this quest is a reference to "The Wang Dang Taffy-Apple Tango," a pop song written by J. Leslie McFarland and Aaron Schroeder. Pat Boone recorded and released the song in 1959.