I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings.”— We've all been there, Jerry Seinfeld
This is the Weekly Saturday Polls, coming to you taped from my fortified bunker in the middle of the DC Hell-hole. Ain't life grand?
My name is Yes-Man and I will be your waiter for the evening. To answer the questions that you all doubtless have, no, it's not Saturday yet and no this isn't a weekly occurrence. I was just too lazy to update the banner for a one-off poll. As for your other questions, yes, I am this naturally beautiful, and this poll is just my attempt at passing the time on this lazy afternoon before I have to drag myself off to work the late shift this evening (oh joyous of days </sarcasm>). So with that out of the way, let's get back to the irregular broadcast schedule. Some of you may have noticed the Seinfeld quotes at the top of the page. Yes, I'm a huge Seinfeld fan. Of course I didn't understand most of the jokes back when they first broadcast it in the 90s because I was too young, but now I can't get enough of it. George Costanza would have to be my favourite character, because I like to believe there's a little bit of George in all of us. Or a lot, in my case. Any Seinfeld fans in the audience tonight? Let me know. Hell, even post up your favourite quote, scene, episode or character. We'll see how many pick up on the references.
With that out of the way I must admit, despite my last poll being back in 2012 I don't have much to talk about since then. Or at least nothing I'd care to share on such a random poll on this random summer's day. I could talk about going to university in the coming months, or my overseas trip. Perhaps the stage play I bought tickets for, or the Bruce Springsteen concert which I seem to have forgotten the dates for. I could mention my newfound love for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, my new job, the crappy New Years Eve celebration I had the misfortune to be dragged along to (the bourbon and coke was so watered down it was basically flat soda) or the uneventful Christmas of last month. If you want to hear about them leave a comment and I'll bore you with the details of my life.
Last Year's Results (technically 13 months ago but close enough)
So with my boring life out of the way we can get onto what you're all (hopefully) reading this for. Namely the poll. I assume that's why you're bothering to read this. Here are the results for last edition's first question: What is the best Fallout game?
The results are as follows:
- Coming in third we had Fallout 2 with only 10 votes! Those ten can look forward to being spared by Frank Horrigan when he takes revenge on the people who didn't vote for his game!
- In second place, with 46 votes was - you guessed - Fallout: New Vegas! Like Fallout 3 but with cowboys (translation = better).
- And in a close first place position, with a total of 51 votes we had Fallout 3! Because what other game allows you to stick a teddy bear in a rocket launcher and use it to shoot the head off an ant obsessed super-villainess in post apocalyptic DC?
The second question asked the age old question of Which of the following characters would you like to see in a future Fallout game?
- In third place with 49 votes was Harold. No votes for Bob, though.
- Second place went to Marcus with 61 votes. Ask Marcus.
- And numero uno, with a whopping 171 votes, is The Lone Wanderer! Imagine the disappointment when they'd appear in-game looking completely different to how your Wanderer was (i.e. no boob mods).
Question three asked the hard hitting questions with What is your preferred method of murder?
- Bronze medal goes to Other with 30 votes! Because it ain't murder if you make it creative. Well, actually, no, it's still murder. DISCLAIMER: If you end up in court for murder, don't use that as a defence
- The silver medal belongs to Melee, with 31 votes! A census taker tried to test me once. I equipped my baseball bat and used V.A.T.S. with a 95% hit chance, but still missed. Fuck you, V.A.T.S.
- And the gold medal, with a total of 249 votes was Small Guns! Because... uhh... I can't think of anything humorous to say. Murder is bad, m'kaaay?
Question four wants the truth! BUT IT CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Which is the scariest Fallout monster?
- Third place with 43 votes was Other. Because no monster is as terrifying as one you can't identify.
- Second place was Feral Ghouls with a total of 45 votes. Luckily they can't see through the master disguise of a plastic Freddy Krueger mask. Make sure to keep one in your post-apocalyptic survival kit.
- And number one, with an outstanding 194 votes were the one, the only Ghost People! Fond memories of frantically trying to decapitate their corpses before they get back up. Ahh, good times.
Now for the moment you've all been waiting for: Who else thinks there should be a High School Musical: The Game 2? You've waited thirteen months to hear me give the results. Wait no longer.
- In third place was Totally with 13 votes. For the record there was no option to vote negatively towards the notion of High School Musical: The Game 2. Anyone who would think such deranged thoughts is clearly some sort of satanic heathen and you should immediately distance yourself from them.
- Second place with 23 votes was You betcha! In the words of Troy Bolton himself, "Whatever happens, long as we're together, it's cool, right?" *cue musical number*
- And in first place, no surprise, with an amazing 228 votes (though I'm pretty sure there were so many votes that it overloaded the system and it could only display the first 228), was When I grow up, I want to be Zac Efron! Either that, or a caterpillar.
So I actually have a page of suggestions that I never got around to doing (*nudges Brandon*), but to go with the randomness of this poll, and the fact that there's nothing official about it nor am I obligated to ask a Fallout question, I'm gonna go ahead and just do my own thing.
So without further ado... Ringo, drumroll please...
But to keep in the spirit of the old polls I need to include way more questions than necessary, so there ain't no getting off this train until it reaches the end of the line. Or something to that effect. Let's go...
Also I expect you to at least tip well.
So as per tradition, here's where I ask one of those extra hypothetical questions where you answer in the comments and it saves me from being yelled at because "YOU FORGET TO INCLUDE EVERY SINGLE OPTION HURR-DURRR", and so forth. This one comes from a very handsome, very charming man who would like to remain anonymous. His name is Grecks. And he wants to know Have you ever felt remorse for your actions in any Fallout game, and if so what made you feel that way?
For me, I bombed Megaton on my second playthrough of Fallout 3 and it was the last time I ever would. I just felt like a major jerk for bombing all those stupid, stupid people who decided it was safe to live around an undetonated bomb. So how about you guys? Ever done something in a Fallout game and then felt really bad about it? Perhaps you sold Arcade Gannon to Caesar. Or maybe you killed Dwayne instead of Playboy X. Wait, wrong game.
And that's about it, folks. Which video game series is your favourite? Do you remember the classics like Crash Bandicoot, or are you a modern gamer who loves Call of Duty? How did you find the poll? Too much self-absorbed humour or just enough sarcasm self-deprication for your liking? And what is the deal with sweaters? It's up to you to decide, Nukapedia.
So back I go into the while blue yonder.
Or if you can't get enough Yes-Man, stick around and listen to me dribble garbage for a paragraph or two. So on a serious note, looking around the wiki there's a lot of people getting up in a fuss over our lovely bureaucrat, Kingclyde. Clydey works hard in real life and although he loves Fallout, loves the wiki and loves the community, he just doesn't have much time anymore. And frankly I don't blame the guy and certainly don't deem it fit to demote him as a result. Regardless this isn't my place to preach my own wiki-political agenda so I'll leave it up to my dear readers to decide; take a look at the forum, read it through thoroughly and ultimately follow your opinion and not mine.
On a lighter note, let me take the opportunity to congratulate the ever charismatic BrandonFox, whom I've already mentioned multiple times in this blog but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. Fox took the Weekly Saturday Polls by storm and already has a great formula going. There have been a few issues with vote tampering by certain community members whom have yet to be identified, and it does ruin the fun of the polls. But otherwise he's really filled the shoes left by his predecessors - at least in my opinion - and here's to many more editions of his wit and humour. Let's all give a big warm thank you to Brandon in the comments. On a final note, does anyone other than me actually read this far?
And that, my friends, was my random non-weekly poll. I would like to finish it off by passing a message on to Chad: your car has been impounded; you have thirty minutes to pick it up. Considering the message came an hour ago I wouldn't waste any time heading over to the depot.
Until next time, stay safe and have fun everyone! If you want to contact me, leave a message on my talk page; I check it at least once a week. In the meantime enjoy Brandon's polls!