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The story of Nukamas:


T'was the night before Nukamas, and all through the shack

Not a creature was creeping, not even a Mole Rat.

All the Raider's bodies, strung up with care,

with hopes that Saint Nukalas soon would be there.

The ghouls were nestled all snug on their beds,

While visions of Sugar Bombs danced in their heads


Ma in her headwrap, and I in my Trader Hat

Had just settled down for a Nuclear Winter's nap-

When out in the Wastes there arose such a clatter!

The window was covered with Blood Sausage Splatter!

Away to the hatch, I flew like a Cazador, Threw over the bolt, and opened the door.


To my wondering eye, but what should spawn?

But a mini-Nukatruck, and 8 tiny Brahmin!

With a little Gnome, it wasn't a fluke,

I knew in tickety it must be Saint Nuke!

More rapid than Deathclaws, his Brahmin they came,

He whistled and bellowed, and called them by name:

"Now Daisy now Dapper, now Peter now Vicky, On Corny on Cooper, on Donny and Bitsey

To da window, to da wall! To da window, to da wall!

Now dash away, float away, Bloat Fly away all!


In a twinkling, I heard on the roof

the stamping and stomping of each mutated hoof.

As i drew in my head, and was turning around,

Out from the chimney St. Nuke squeezed down.

Dressed in Yao Guai fur, from head to his toe,

His clothes were all shiny like a Glowing One's glow.

A bundle of crap was strapped to his back

He looked like a Trader, another useless hack.


His eyes, how they twinkled, His dimples, like dawn.

His cheeks Grenade Bouquets, his nose a Cherry Bomb.

He had a broad face, and a round little gut below,

that shook when he laughed, like you do without ammo.

He was fat like a Centaur, a jolly old jerk,

I laughed when I saw him, like my first Mirelurk.

A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,

soon gave me to know i need not deal in lead.


He spoke not a word, but went to his job,

and stuffed all the bodies, poor stupid slobs.

He placed his finger, inside his nose,

giving a nod, up the pipe he rose.


He sprung to his truck, to his team he did scream,

and away they flew, like a Laser Rifle's beam.

But i heard him say, as he disappeared from sight,

"Happy Nukamas to all, and to all (except slavers) a good night."