Before the end of this century, you lucky folks will be the audience to the greatest spectacle (comedy) orchestrated by man in this millennium! But before we celebrate by bashing open the celebratory Liberty Prime Pinata and eating the traditional Oil Rig Cake, let's take a tally of our accomplishments leading up to the Great War thus far.
According to M. King Hubbert's peak theory, we already reached peak oil production in 2005!
Though oil production went on to set record highs in 2011 and 2012, it is this ghoulish author's, rather modest opinion, that we as a (currently) homogeneous species are imminent to reaching the Earth's peak oil! Once we do, I think I speak for all of us when I say that I'm going to sign up to protect the United States' rightful claim to the world's last tapped oil supply!!On that day, we can celebrate the start of the Resource Wars and be that much closer to the first instance of the first anniversary of the Great War.
That's right smoothies, we are six years away from constructing the International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor in cooperation with our currently partner nations.
Once it is complete, we'll be that much closer to our realization of the eponymous Microfusion Reactor and the power armor that requires it. Speaking of which...
Glorious Ladies and gentlemen, the folks over at Lockheed Martin are working on a (American) version of the exoskeleton for human performance and augmentation (EHPA). Or in short, Power armor.
But since some people think it's wrong to operate an internal combustion (IC) engine inside buildings because apparently some people can't handle carbon monoxide poisoning, this kind of armor won't be a humane option until we can replace the IC engine.
Now these are only just a few examples of our inevitable destiny as a species to wholeheartedly vaporize the ecosphere with extreme prejudice and make street art from the outlines of our shadows that shielded particular surfaces from light damage.
So with our imminent demise given a due date, a few questions for you:
As one of Atom's children, Rotface would go on to say, "Hindsight is 20/20." With this in mind:
And to break character:
NOTICE!: We have failed to found West-Tek in 2002. We really need to step up our A-game smoothies!
Happy -64th Anniversary!