Like war we will never change”
|Civil Rights||Economy||Political freedom|
The United States of Nukapedia has now been founded in the The East Pacific and we can now start to vote on our issues. Every week I will bring you a number of issues, each with a number of solutions which you can all vote on. The most popular solution will be put through.
About our nation
The United States of Nukapedia is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-working, cynical population of 591 million Nukapedians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.
The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vault City. The average income tax rate is 43.6%.
The Nukapedian economy, worth 36.6 trillion bottle caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 61,965 bottle caps, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.
Pharmacies close down as medicinal drugs are sold freely by the government, discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal, the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare, and Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nukapedia's national animal is the deathclaw, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.
Nukapedia is ranked 148th in The East Pacific and 9,614th in the world for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 4 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.
National happenings are quick snippets of information which update every time we pass legalization.
- Nukapedia was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Mining Sector.
- Nukapedia was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Largest Mining Sector.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal.
Last week's issues
Outed Teacher Ousted
A religious high school in Vault City has caused quite a stir after firing a teacher because of his homosexual orientation.
yes Solution One: "I can't see what they did wrong," says Ryan de Vries, proud parent and founder of the Holier Than Thou prayer group. "Homosexuality is an apostasy onto everything we stand for and believe in! I don't want my children to be exposed to it. Teachers are role models for their students for heaven's sake. I say all sodomites should be banned from teaching at all schools in Nukapedia, lest the contagion spread."
no Solution Two: "Prohibiting people from doing their jobs just because of their love life is utterly ridiculous!" shouts a mad-as-hell civil rights activist, "Don't we live in modern society? Giving these fundamentalist idiots what they want is a huge violation of human rights. All people should be able to do their jobs, whatever their sexuality!"
yes Solution Three: "This is yet another example of what harm religion does to our society," says LGBTQ activist Finlay Change, waving a rainbow flag. "Homosexuality shouldn't be a taboo subject anymore. Children ought to be brought up knowing that sexual diversity is just something that exists in society and is completely normal. To help society move forward, we need to get rid of religious schooling and teach that people should love whoever and whatever they want."
We opted to agree with the mad-as-hell civil rights activist and not allow people to be fired over their sexuality
You Just Sank My Battleship!
Last month the Nukapedian Navy's flagship scandalously sank while docked in the Lahabana Harbor. After analysis, experts concluded the primary cause was rust from poor maintenance.
no Solution One: "Can't you see we need a hand in the navy?" complains Commodore Emily Leach while directing a diving crew, "How are we supposed to maintain our fleet if our routine maintenance budget is so paltry? Bigtopia has better warships, and you can't tell me they're a martial powerhouse. Grant me as much funding as I need so this doesn't ever happen again."
yes Solution Two: "This only proves that battleships are obsolete," concludes Jacob Jefferson after watching the newest Star Trek movie, "Nukapedia needs weapons to combat the problems of the 23rd, I mean 21st century. We need to start research and development of an interstellar fleet or we'll be left behind in the arms race against... I dunno Klingons?"
no Solution Three: "I know the real cause of this catastrophe," claims Crazy Boris, your least reliable spy, "Blackacre is obviously behind this attack. The signs of sabotage are everywhere." He takes a swig of vodka before continuing, "The engine explosion was most likely caused by my old nemesis, Ussa Maddox. Give me a free hand and I'll purge the spies that have infiltrated every level of Nukapedia."
no Solution Four: "You're all ignoring the bigger problem!" shouts a protester outside your office window, desperately trying to catch your attention, "That sunken battleship is polluting the environment horribly. All kinds of chemicals are seeping from the wreckage, and we're doing nothing to clean it up. Instead of building yet another war machine, how about we clean up some of our old messes, starting with this shipwreck."
We opted to agree with Jacob Jefferson and fund R&D for an interstellar fleet
Unconventional Weapons Under Fire
A collection of citizens, civil rights workers, and concerned mothers have signed a petition to stop the manufacturing of the 'BFG-69' (AKA 'the Organ Grinder'), a new rifle planned to be used in the military which works by shredding people's internal organs.
no Solution One: "If we don't produce these weapons we will be left behind in the arms race," says Lauren Bronte, director of the Alliance of Rifles, Grenades, and Handguns. "These weapons are the future and it won't just stop with the BFG-69. We're planning on introducing the Bone-Breaker 542-DX Sonic Rocket Launcher next year along with our anthrax grenade line. If Nukapedia is going to stay ahead of the game then it'll just have to accept that highly destructive weaponry is part of life. We'd also like to sell it commercially to your police force and citizens if you'd just sign here...?"
no Solution Two: "This rifle is completely inhumane," says Dr Bharatendu Dubois, leaning on a cane. "These weapons are unnecessarily violent - how can anyone condone something that rips apart your innards like this? How long do you think it will be before these new inventions get into the wrong hands? Shootings are bad enough but at least most people are just wounded. The BFG-69 and those of its ilk are lethal in the extreme and are completely unacceptable! We need some moral decency here and get rid of these unconventional weapons along with all the other shameful armaments like mustard gas."
yes Solution Three: "Excuse me, but whenever has anyone ever heard of a weapon that WAS humane?" asks Sashona Never, ballistics expert. "These are devices for firing slugs of metal at people. It's not nice, but it IS necessary. People are always so squeamish. They've already accepted the standard ripping through the body of the standard bullet but the moment something a little more effective is made they kick up a fuss. Typical. These nonstandard weapons should only be put into trained military hands anyway. We're not making rocking horses here, we're protecting Nukapedia against her enemies! Just this once, let's try to stay ahead of them."
We have opted to agree with Sashona Never and produce unconventional weapons, for military use only
This week's issues
Click though the tabs to view and vote on the different issues.
They Took Our Gubment!
Vault City media has been abuzz with gossip that Harold Weissenegger, a former bodybuilder and action movie star turned politician who immigrated from Smalltopia at a young age, is set to run for Parliament in the upcoming election. With Weissenegger already ahead in early polls, the legality of an immigrant running for office has been brought into question.
Solution One: "You can't allow this," protests Buffy Jefferson, currently a distant second in the polls. "I've put fifty years of my life into this country, all to see a Smalltopian barbarian muscle in on what should rightfully be my job? If we don't take action now," she continues grimly, "who'll stop him when he's after your job?"
Solution Two: "Why stop there?" queries Rosalia Wall, chairperson of the Nukapedian Nationalist Workers Party. "Immigrants are a danger to our society and cannot be trusted! Letting them in this country is one thing, letting them RUN it is an entirely different story. That's why we should ban immigrants like this 'Eradicator' from being police officers, judges, lawyers, or indeed any job that creates, interprets, or enforces the law!"
Solution Three: "I live here, work here, pay taxes here... well I live here," monologues Mr Weissenegger after smashing your door down for dramatic effect. "So there's no problemo with me running for office." As he tramples out of the splintered doorway, his last words are carried to you: "Or I'll be back."
Super-Sized Pizzas Recipe For Disaster?
Papa Pallocci's Pizza Pagoda, Nukapedia's top pizza delivery chain, has unveiled a new "Leviathan Size" deep-dish pizza. Citizens and health experts alike have come to you raising concerns over the health implications of this new pizza.
Solution One: "This is a public health travesty," says Jake Malik, a noted nutrition expert. "There is just no sensible reason for a pizza this big to exist! It encourages overeating which leads to obesity and all of the illnesses that go with it! It's clear that these companies aren't going to do the right thing without prodding. Obviously, the government needs to ban this greasy filth and make restaurants include nutritional information on all of their menu items!"
Solution Two: "But the temptation - the temptation is still there!" cries morbidly obese health advocate Freddy Jamieson. "For years, I ate every kind of junk food imaginable. Just look at me now! Doctors tell me I've shaved twenty years off my life at least. This food is deadly, and we shouldn't tolerate it any more! All fast food restaurants should be banned, and their owners forced to pay reparations to their victims."
Solution Three: "That's preposterous!" replies May Barry, Head of Papa Pallocci's Public Relations division. "Our food is among the healthiest in Nukapedia! We offer an array of fresh veggies and the finest of meats. These radicals are calling for the government to intervene, but is it really the government's job to babysit our customers like that? They're big boys and girls, and it should be up to them to decide what they want to eat! They want pizza, so let them have pizza!"
Solution Four: "Hey, man. I have an idea," says Bharatendu Plath, an aging hippie, barely suppressing a giggle. "This is all about healthy food, right? My bros and I were thinking about selling this pizza with locally grown organic ingredients and whole grains and stuff, right? It'd be good for you AND the planet, man. The only snag is we're a little short on start-up moolah. The government should totally, like, give us money to open our chain. We'd really appreciate it. Yeah, you'd need a tax hike to pay for it, but we'd totally save the world - with pizza, man!"
Derailing The Gravy Train
A national newspaper has uncovered details of a number of politicians' expenses documents, publishing claims from gold-plated toilet seats to elaborate steak dinners for dogs. Following the publication, the general public is clamoring at your door demanding answers.
Solution One: "This is the sort of disgraceful behavior we've come to expect from our politicians," bemoans unemployed teacher, Fanny Deathclaw. "Look around you! No one else is living so extravagantly. We need to lower all politicians' salaries to the poverty line and put the kibosh on these claimed 'business expenses' too. Maybe then they'll understand how real people actually live in Nukapedia."
Solution Two: "This is quite absurd!" scoffs Stan Dodinas, taking a sip of Bollinger '86. "We toil day in and day out keeping this country running, and this is the thanks we get? Newspapers snooping around our personal business, questioning what we need to do our jobs. We incur certain, necessary expenses that may look odd when taken out of context - and that's just what the media is doing! They're distorting the facts just to boost their ratings. Well, I say their prying eyes have gone too far. We need to outlaw this underhanded 'reporting' for the sake of the patriotic values that made this nation great!"