Like war we will never change”
|Civil Rights||Economy||Political freedom|
The United States of Nukapedia has now been founded in the The East Pacific and we can now start to vote on our issues. Every week I will bring you a number of issues, each with a number of solutions which you can all vote on. The most popular solution will be put through.
About our nation
The United States of Nukapedia is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and daily referendums. The hard-working, cynical population of 455 million Nukapedians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.
The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nukapedia City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 38.7%.
The strong Nukapedian economy, worth 32.7 trillion bottle caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is 71,973 bottle caps, with the richest citizens earning 8.4 times as much as the poorest.
The nation is weighing the price of victory following a nuclear strike, the military is slashing spending on conventional arms and diverting it to spending on prosthetic arms, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous, and there have been reports of people marrying housepets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nukapedia's national animal is the deathclaw, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.
Nukapedia is ranked 1,785th in The East Pacific and 62,014th in the world for Longest Average Lifespans, scoring 11 on the Enoch Index.
National happenings are quick snippets of information which update every time we pass legalization.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, there have been reports of people marrying housepets.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous.
Last week's issues
Nukapedia To Hold The Olympic Torch?
Enthusiastic sports fans have been petitioning the government all week to apply for the much-coveted honour of hosting the next Regional Olympics. While most citizens are excited at the prospect of a The East Pacific-wide competition in their own country, some have expressed reservations about the enormous expense hosting would incur.
no Solution One: "WAHAAAAY!" screams Buy Washington, captain of Nukapedia City's premier division ballroom dancing team. "Finally, a chance to show the world exactly how great I am! Everybody's always complaining that Nukapedia never does well in sports and you know why? It's because we're never in front of the home crowd, that's why! We're going to need a great big stadium! No! TWO stadiums! WHOOP! OL-YM-PICS! OL-YM-PICS!"
yes Solution Two: "Oh great," mutters Emily Wall, spokesperson for the Angry Taxpayer Society. "That's all we need, more things to pour money into for no obvious reason. Surely it would be easier to just let another country host the Olympics and keep the cash? Then maybe it could go to something useful, like, I don't know... my wallet?"
no Solution Three: "We'd be missing an amazing opportunity if we pass this up," says William Sanchez, your Minister of Sports. "But we've got to be in it to win! Simply building new stadia won't be enough, we need to be funding new sports centres and hiring the best coaches for our entrants! You could put more money into public facilities too, like gyms or something. Then no one can accuse you of wasting everyone's tax bottle caps, ha ha. Ha."
no Solution Four: "There's nothing like a feat of strength to please the dull-witted masses, is there?" sighs Rebecca Wilson, flipping through 'One Hundred Gambits for Advanced Go Players'. "It's so boring. Why can't more intellectual pursuits be given the spotlight, like chess or debating matches? Ban organised sports and make our dreams come true! I think you'll find it comes at a far lower price than the populist Olympics ever will."
We opted to agree with Emily Wall and let another country host
One Wife Is Never Enough, Say Polygamists
A small religious group is lobbying the government to allow them to take multiple wives.
no Solution One:"It's about time we had our religious rights recognized," says Rochelle Fellow, a devout member of a faith that is never made quite clear. "Who is the government to tell me I can't love more than one woman? The government doesn't know how much of me there is to go around!"
no Solution Two: "This is nothing more than sexual deviants using religion as a pretext for perversion!" says Reverend Ruby Bush. "Marriage is one man, one woman, and death do we part. What's so hard to get? Anything else is a perversion, and must be banned."
yes Solution Three: "Multiple wives? Excellent!" says passer-by Aaron Sato. "Presumably we will allow multiple husbands, as well. And gay marriages, of course. In fact, now is probably the time for the government to butt out of marriage altogether. Let people marry their cats, if they want."
We opted to agree with Aaron Sato and let everyone marry whoever they want
FOLLOW UP: Brasilistan Go Boom
The story so far: You decided to deal with the crisis in Brasilistan by launching a wave of nuclear strikes.
Nukapedia's nuclear missiles stand ready. You know the risks. You've weighed the options. But the NSA requires your final approval before launching a nuclear strike on Brasilistan.
Solution One: When you give the order to launch the nukes, your general briefly leaves the room. The moments tick by. When he returns, he simply nods once. "Birds in the air." There are almost two dozen people around this table, including some of the most brilliant minds and fearsome personalities in Nukapedia, but none of them speak. "Three minutes until impact." You expected more activity. But there's nothing to do. There aren't even any gigantic computer screens, tracing the path of the missiles. It's beneath you, you suppose. Your job is not to track the flight of missiles. Your job is simply to decide. And that's what you've done. You've decided to annihilate another country. You look around the table at your advisors and soldiers. Some nod back at you reassuringly. Some won't meet your eyes. Not everyone will agree with you, of course. But it's not their decision. It's yours. The general leaves the room several more times. Finally, he returns. "It's done," your general says. "It's done."
R.I.P Brasilistan. The world has learned not to mess with Nukapedia... I hope.
This week's issues
Click though the tabs to view and vote on the different issues.
Licence To Breed?
Increasing reports of child abuse and neglect in Nukapedia has prompted local pressure groups to call for 'parental licences'.
Solution One: "You need a licence to keep deathclaws or drive a car," points out local current affairs commentator, Elizabeth Wong. "So why should just any random idiot get to be a mother or father? It just doesn't make sense! If all potential parents had to pass tests to prove they're responsible enough, I'm sure you'd find that it would help decrease the level of child abuse, and increase proper discipline in the home."
Solution Two: "This is madness!" screams Mohammed Zhu. "You can't deny perfectly good people the right to bring life into this world! deathclaws manage it easily enough, and you can't tell me they've got more responsibility than your average upstanding citizen of Nukapedia! The government should keep out of such matters - I've always said social workers and welfare was a drain on the budget. Yes, there will be some sad cases of neglect, but shouldn't we be giving parents the benefit of the doubt?"
Solution Three: "The answer to this problem is patently obvious," says Colleen Patel, your Minister of Social Welfare. "The government simply needs to give more funding to the welfare department so that we can recruit more social workers to carry out regular checks on parents and judge whether or not they're doing a good job of looking after their children. It'll be expensive, but at least it's a damn sight fairer than licensing parents."
Private Lab Holds Nukapedia's Sick To Ransom
Scientists at a private medical research laboratory have announced that they have produced a drug which will combat Nukapedia's most notorious malady - Spon Plague.
Solution One: "This pill is the only known and unknown cure for the Spon Plague!" proclaims Professor Ivan Silk, the inventor of the cure. "But if we are to go ahead with the production of this drug, we must get some government support. We're set to make a fortune from this drug - the money we earn will help us develop even more cures for other as-yet untreatable diseases. Some people won't be able to afford it of course, but hard cheese on them: they should have got a paying job while they were still capable."
Solution Two: "That's a disgraceful way to think!" says equal rights activist Ryan Usman. "So the people who need the most help shouldn't get any? I propose that the government subsidises the production of all drugs so everyone can benefit from them, rich or not! That way the money-hungry corporations won't profit from the suffering of the masses. Of course there will be the matter of a small tax rise to fund it - but what's that when lives will be saved?"
Solution Three: "I can't believe what I'm hearing," deplores well-respected religious leader, Matilda Strange. "If God didn't want people to have this disease he wouldn't have created it in the first place. This is completely against the will of God and if the government allows this drug to go on sale we will all be doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place! Now let's end this madness and abolish the production of pharmaceuticals and drugs altogether!"
Hackles Raised Over Fur Clothes Debate
Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.
Solution One: "This is an outrage!" cries Bharatendu Rikkard, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."
Solution Two: "You can't mean that, surely?" snorts Gretel Falopian, adjusting a hat made from real deathclaw hide. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"
Naming our Capital City
Nukapedia's great underground capital city has been built, now all it needs is a name.