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Like war we will never change

Civil Rights Economy Political freedom
Some Strong Few

Greetings Nukapedians!

The United States of Nukapedia has now been founded in the The East Pacific and we can now start to vote on our issues. Every week I will bring you a number of issues, each with a number of solutions which you can all vote on. The most popular solution will be put through.

About our nation

The United States of Nukapedia is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its daily referendums, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 377 million Nukapedians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nukapedia City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.8%.

The strong Nukapedian economy, worth 27.6 trillion bottle caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is 73,246 bottle caps, with the richest citizens earning 8.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia, businesses have become paranoid as waves of lawsuits sweep the nation, the nation is weighing the price of victory following a nuclear strike, and the military is slashing spending on conventional arms and diverting it to spending on prosthetic arms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nukapedia's national animal is the deathclaw, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Nukapedia is ranked 1,609th in The East Pacific and 48,624th in the world for Largest Public Transport Department, scoring 19 on the Societal Mobility Rating.

National happenings
National happenings are quick snippets of information which update every time we pass legalization.

  • Following new legislation in Nukapedia, the military is slashing spending on conventional arms and diverting it to spending on prosthetic arms.
  • Following new legislation in Nukapedia, the nation is weighing the price of victory following a nuclear strike.
  • Following new legislation in Nukapedia, businesses have become paranoid as waves of lawsuits sweep the nation.

Issues

Last week's issues

Delivering Mayhem In Thirty Minutes Or Less!

Hoping to increase its market share, Nukapedia's second-largest pizza chain, De Luigi Bros. Pizza, began guaranteeing free pizzas if they weren't delivered in thirty minutes or less. Since the policy began several months ago, there have been several reports of De Luigi's delivery crew driving recklessly in order to beat the deadline. After a number of fatal accidents were attributed to De Luigi's drivers, citizens are calling for action.

noIcon cross Solution One: "Here's a thought," says Johann Tan, environmental activist and committed bicyclist, "These auto accidents wouldn't be happening if there weren't any cars in the first place! If you banned cars from our roads and focused on bikes and mass transit, we'd all be safer, and our environment would be cleaner, too. We've got nothing to lose! Except an auto industry of course. And the pizza industry will probably take a hit too, since it'll be harder to deliver the pizzas. But that doesn't matter: our safety and the planet's future do!"
yesIcon check Solution Two: "What the... hell does that have to do with anything?" asks Britney Ruff, successful personal injury lawyer and owner of four sports cars. "The real issue is that De Luigi's enacted a stupid policy that resulted in injury and property damage! We need to send a clear message to big business that they'll be held liable for their mistakes, and the best way to do that, of course, is with a punitive class action lawsuit."
noIcon cross Solution Three: "As usual, science has the answer!" claims renowned engineer and futurist, Dr. Evan Dodinas. "You're probably aware that there have been numerous developments in unmanned aerial vehicles over the past several years. Well, my laboratory's been developing this compact flying courier robot with VTOL and GPS and a bunch of other initialisms that make it perfect for this kind of application! It performed... okay in the test flight we did, so if the military would allow us to sell these things to, uh, pretty much everyone, defense contractors can make a mint manufacturing them; and pizza chains can save a small fortune by not having to pay armies of inexperienced teenage drivers! They should still carry plenty of insurance, though."
noIcon cross Solution Four: "Wait, this is getting out of hand!" moans Benito De Luigi, CEO and co-founder of De Luigi Bros. Pizza. "We just wanted to dethrone those smug jerks at Papa Pallocci's, that's all! This isn't our fault; the real culprit is, uh... suburbia! Yeah! Those rows and rows of poorly-built, identical houses on stupid cul-de-sacs are a confusing nightmare for our delivery crews. Most people should be living in urban high-rise apartments, and I guess everyone else can save time by not commuting so much. Offer some incentives to get people to move: a month's free rent and a free trip to jail if they refuse to leave!"


We opted to agree with Britney Ruff and sue De Luigi's.

Wounded Veterans Demand A Helping Hand

NBS Nightly News has run an interview with a former Nukapedian Army officer who has resorted to using a hook as a replacement for the hand he lost in combat after the Department of Veterans Affairs failed to cover the cost of prosthetic surgery, prompting a deluge of complaints about the way Nukapedia takes care of its wounded veterans.

yesIcon check Solution One: "You can't ask young Nukapedians to go overseas to serve their country and then abandon them when they come home injured," insists recently returned double-amputee Brian True. "Wounded veterans like myself who have given their limbs for this nation deserve to live in handicap-accessible housing, and to have the cost of our surgeries and therapy fully covered, even if it does cost an arm and a leg. What's the point of spending so much on expensive new tanks and planes if you're not going to take care of those of us who have given so much already?"
noIcon cross Solution Two: "We couldn't agree more that these brave veterans deserve a better standard of living," hastily interjects Pete Jefferson, CEO of military equipment supplier Global Strategic Solutions, Inc. "But there's no sense cutting procurement orders to pay for it. We would consider it our patriotic duty to foot the bill for free prosthetics for anyone injured in the line of duty ourselves. And all we'd ask in return is an agreement to plaster -- er, decorate -- the prostheses with advertisements for our civilian sales branch."
noIcon cross Solution Three: "That takes care of the symptoms, but not the cause," announces Professor Elizabeth Gutenberg, Director of the NAF's highly secretive Special Projects Division. "As long as we insist on using flesh and blood troops on the battlefield, these kind of injuries are going to continue to cause so much inefficiency -- oh, and human suffering too, I guess. I say it's time we unleashed Operation Codename: Giant Killer Robots!"

We opted to agree with double-amputee Brian True. and give injured soldiers handicap-accessible housing and free surgery and therapy.

FOLLOW UP: It's The Final Countdown

The story so far: You have decided that the only sensible response to the crisis in Brasilistan is a nuclear one.

Nukapedia's nuclear missiles stand ready. You know the risks. You've weighed the options. But the NSA requires your final approval before launching a nuclear strike on Brasilistan.

Solution One: "There is nothing left to discuss," says General Akira Khan, his voice echoing strangely loudly in the crowded war room. "The way forward is clear. Indeed, it is the only choice remaining. We are locked into this course of action. There's no actual decision to be made at all. So go ahead. Press the button. There's no stopping it now."

You pushed the button. You monsters. I hope it was worth it.

This week's issues

Click though the tabs to view and vote on the different issues.

Nukapedia To Hold The Olympic Torch?

Enthusiastic sports fans have been petitioning the government all week to apply for the much-coveted honour of hosting the next Regional Olympics. While most citizens are excited at the prospect of a The East Pacific-wide competition in their own country, some have expressed reservations about the enormous expense hosting would incur.

Solution One: "WAHAAAAY!" screams Buy Washington, captain of Nukapedia City's premier division ballroom dancing team. "Finally, a chance to show the world exactly how great I am! Everybody's always complaining that Nukapedia never does well in sports and you know why? It's because we're never in front of the home crowd, that's why! We're going to need a great big stadium! No! TWO stadiums! WHOOP! OL-YM-PICS! OL-YM-PICS!"
Solution Two: "Oh great," mutters Emily Wall, spokesperson for the Angry Taxpayer Society. "That's all we need, more things to pour money into for no obvious reason. Surely it would be easier to just let another country host the Olympics and keep the cash? Then maybe it could go to something useful, like, I don't know... my wallet?"
Solution Three: "We'd be missing an amazing opportunity if we pass this up," says William Sanchez, your Minister of Sports. "But we've got to be in it to win! Simply building new stadia won't be enough, we need to be funding new sports centres and hiring the best coaches for our entrants! You could put more money into public facilities too, like gyms or something. Then no one can accuse you of wasting everyone's tax bottle caps, ha ha. Ha."
Solution Four: "There's nothing like a feat of strength to please the dull-witted masses, is there?" sighs Rebecca Wilson, flipping through 'One Hundred Gambits for Advanced Go Players'. "It's so boring. Why can't more intellectual pursuits be given the spotlight, like chess or debating matches? Ban organised sports and make our dreams come true! I think you'll find it comes at a far lower price than the populist Olympics ever will."
Issue 1: Who should we agree with?
 
2
 
14
 
5
 
3
 

The poll was created at 21:45 on July 5, 2015, and so far 24 people voted.

One Wife Is Never Enough, Say Polygamists

A small religious group is lobbying the government to allow them to take multiple wives.

Solution One: "It's about time we had our religious rights recognized," says Rochelle Fellow, a devout member of a faith that is never made quite clear. "Who is the government to tell me I can't love more than one woman? The government doesn't know how much of me there is to go around!"
Solution Two: "This is nothing more than sexual deviants using religion as a pretext for perversion!" says Reverend Ruby Bush. "Marriage is one man, one woman, and death do we part. What's so hard to get? Anything else is a perversion, and must be banned."
Solution Three: "Multiple wives? Excellent!" says passer-by Aaron Sato. "Presumably we will allow multiple husbands, as well. And gay marriages, of course. In fact, now is probably the time for the government to butt out of marriage altogether. Let people marry their cats, if they want."
Issue 2: Who should we agree with?
 
0
 
5
 
15
 

The poll was created at 21:45 on July 5, 2015, and so far 20 people voted.

FOLLOW UP: Brasilistan Go Boom

The story so far: You decided to deal with the crisis in Brasilistan by launching a wave of nuclear strikes.

Nukapedia's nuclear missiles stand ready. You know the risks. You've weighed the options. But the NSA requires your final approval before launching a nuclear strike on Brasilistan.

Solution One: When you give the order to launch the nukes, your general briefly leaves the room. The moments tick by. When he returns, he simply nods once. "Birds in the air." There are almost two dozen people around this table, including some of the most brilliant minds and fearsome personalities in Nukapedia, but none of them speak. "Three minutes until impact." You expected more activity. But there's nothing to do. There aren't even any gigantic computer screens, tracing the path of the missiles. It's beneath you, you suppose. Your job is not to track the flight of missiles. Your job is simply to decide. And that's what you've done. You've decided to annihilate another country. You look around the table at your advisors and soldiers. Some nod back at you reassuringly. Some won't meet your eyes. Not everyone will agree with you, of course. But it's not their decision. It's yours. The general leaves the room several more times. Finally, he returns. "It's done," your general says. "It's done."
Issue 3: Who should we agree with?
 
21
 

The poll was created at 21:46 on July 5, 2015, and so far 21 people voted.