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Like war we will never change

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Some Strong Few

Greetings Nukapedians!

The United States of Nukapedia has now been founded in the The East Pacific and we can now start to vote on our issues. Every week I will bring you a number of issues, each with a number of solutions which you can all vote on. The most popular solution will be put through.

About our nation

The United States of Nukapedia is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its daily referendums, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 332 million Nukapedians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nukapedia City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 38.9%.

The strong Nukapedian economy, worth 24.7 trillion bottle caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is 74,372 bottle caps, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 209,938 per year while the poor average 21,090, a ratio of 10.0 to 1.

Carpet bombing has decimated Brasilistan's landscape and population, The East Pacific holds its breath as nuclear warfare is being seriously considered, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Nukapedia City, and the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nukapedia's national animal is the deathclaw, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Nukapedia is ranked 4,296th in The East Pacific and 97,956th in the world for Best Weather, with -7 Metres of Sunlight Above Expected.

National happenings
National happenings are quick snippets of information which update every time we pass legalization.

  • Following new legislation in Nukapedia, the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia.
  • Following new legislation in Nukapedia, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Nukapedia City.population.
  • Following new legislation in Nukapedia, The East Pacific holds its breath as nuclear warfare is being seriously considered.

Issues

Last week's issues

A Capital City For Nukapedia?

As Nukapedia continues to grow, so too does its government. The number of politicians needed to administrate and legislate the country is rapidly surpassing the Houses of Parliament's capacity with ministers often requiring periscopes to see the House Speaker. Some are suggesting a new building be built in another city - a city which would then be designated as the capital city of Nukapedia.

noIcon cross Solution One: "I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction," says Sean Levy, mayor of one of Nukapedia's major cities. "It would be an honour for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like..."
noIcon cross Solution Two: "Hah! Capital city indeed!" shouts Clint Taffs, a fervent anarchist, spilling leaflets all over the floor. "What's wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I've had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital!"
yesIcon check Solution Three: "Look, I've got an idea," says Declan Sanchez, an obsessive centrist. "Perhaps we can allow for six months of paid maternity leave, but have the government pay the companies for lost revenue? That way the mothers can bring up their children without financial worries, companies won't lose investors, and everyone will be happy. Apart from the taxpayers, of course, but you can't please everyone."
noIcon cross Solution Four: "I can accept and even approve of having a capital city," says Kathleen King, a military strategist. "But we'd be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion bottle caps and build our capital city underground. They'll never bomb us there!"
noIcon cross Solution Five: "What's wrong with the old building?" asks Alexander Hendrikson, a noted disestablishmentarian. "We don't need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the bigwig ministers feel important! If there's no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?"

We opted to agree with the Declan Sanchez and build an underground capital city.

Farmers Seeding Discontent

Farmers throughout the country are threatening a nationwide strike, because their domestic produce cannot compete with cheap foreign imports. They demand that the government step in and protect the agricultural sector.

noIcon cross Solution One: "Foreign competition is slowly destroying us!" yells Billy-Bob Thiesen while waving a pitchfork. "We invest so much effort and time to get a quality yield, and eventually we end up throwing everything away because those cheap, plastic Maxtopian tomatoes are sold for half the price! I swear they taste like compost wrapped in iceburg lettuce, and yet Nukapedians still buy the damned things! We, the farmers of Nukapedia, demand agricultural subsidies so we can lower our prices and compete fairly with imports. After all, our food security depends upon domestic production."
yesIcon check Solution Two: Economic analyst Stefanie Frederickson has other ideas. "There's an easier way to support farmers without spending millions on farms that never went beyond ox plowing. Just raise tariffs. Agriculture will be protected from a transnational race to the bottom, and Nukapedians get a little tax cut to boot. The tariffs will be unpopular abroad, but this conundrum only exists because of Maxtopia's long history of protectionism."
noIcon cross Solution Three: "Are these people serious?" scoffs Bruce Cho, owner of A Whole Shipload, LLC. "Subsidies, tariffs, what is all that about? You're messing with the free market here! If foreign produce is cheaper, then that means they're better at doing their jobs. These ungrateful peasants just want government coddling, because they can't pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. It's time that Nukapedia promote personal responsibility instead of pandering to the weak. Crush the strike by abolishing all foodstuff tariffs, and then we can import as much as we like."

We opted to agree with Stefanie Frederickson and raise tariffs

FOLLOW UP: Select Your Target!

The story so far: Your government's response to overtures of aggression from the Brasilistanis has been to bomb specific high-level, valuable assets in the nation.

Having decided to launch a tactical strike on Brasilistan, your military advisors have drawn up a list of different targets, each ranging in terms of severity and civilian casulties.

noIcon cross Solution One: Admiral Nelson Wellington presents you with a file first. "This is an aerial view map of Western Brasilistan. We have circled in red key armament factories, military bases, and a military airport. Eliminating these targets will not only harm the enemy's ability to mobilise an effective retaliatory attack, but it also makes it easier for us to land troops on the west coast. The impact on civilians will be minimal."
noIcon cross Solution Two: "That won't be enough", Air Marshal Peter Bottle says firmly. "Here is a map of the same region, but as you can see our targets are much more crucial to Brasilistan's infrastructure. Give the go ahead and my pilots will unleash their bombs on the city itself. There is a 100% chance of high civilian casualties, but it's to ensure that the enemy has a 0% chance of retaliation, in any way, shape, or form."
yesIcon check Solution Three: "Or we could just nuke them", General Megan Wong says, pushing the other two out of the way. "Think about it. None of our soldiers will go in so there'll be zero casualties on our side. All it takes is one bomb, so it's considerably cheaper, and it means there'll be no drawn-out conflict. I can't see a loss. To us, anyway. It'll decimate Brasilistan, but they are the enemy, and this is war."

We opted to agree with General Megan Wong and nuke Brasilistan.

This week's issues

Click though the tabs to view and vote on the different issues.

Delivering Mayhem In Thirty Minutes Or Less!

Hoping to increase its market share, Nukapedia's second-largest pizza chain, De Luigi Bros. Pizza, began guaranteeing free pizzas if they weren't delivered in thirty minutes or less. Since the policy began several months ago, there have been several reports of De Luigi's delivery crew driving recklessly in order to beat the deadline. After a number of fatal accidents were attributed to De Luigi's drivers, citizens are calling for action.

Solution One: "Here's a thought," says Johann Tan, environmental activist and committed bicyclist, "These auto accidents wouldn't be happening if there weren't any cars in the first place! If you banned cars from our roads and focused on bikes and mass transit, we'd all be safer, and our environment would be cleaner, too. We've got nothing to lose! Except an auto industry of course. And the pizza industry will probably take a hit too, since it'll be harder to deliver the pizzas. But that doesn't matter: our safety and the planet's future do!"
Solution Two: "What the... hell does that have to do with anything?" asks Britney Ruff, successful personal injury lawyer and owner of four sports cars. "The real issue is that De Luigi's enacted a stupid policy that resulted in injury and property damage! We need to send a clear message to big business that they'll be held liable for their mistakes, and the best way to do that, of course, is with a punitive class action lawsuit."
Solution Three: "As usual, science has the answer!" claims renowned engineer and futurist, Dr. Evan Dodinas. "You're probably aware that there have been numerous developments in unmanned aerial vehicles over the past several years. Well, my laboratory's been developing this compact flying courier robot with VTOL and GPS and a bunch of other initialisms that make it perfect for this kind of application! It performed... okay in the test flight we did, so if the military would allow us to sell these things to, uh, pretty much everyone, defense contractors can make a mint manufacturing them; and pizza chains can save a small fortune by not having to pay armies of inexperienced teenage drivers! They should still carry plenty of insurance, though."
Solution Four: "Wait, this is getting out of hand!" moans Benito De Luigi, CEO and co-founder of De Luigi Bros. Pizza. "We just wanted to dethrone those smug jerks at Papa Pallocci's, that's all! This isn't our fault; the real culprit is, uh... suburbia! Yeah! Those rows and rows of poorly-built, identical houses on stupid cul-de-sacs are a confusing nightmare for our delivery crews. Most people should be living in urban high-rise apartments, and I guess everyone else can save time by not commuting so much. Offer some incentives to get people to move: a month's free rent and a free trip to jail if they refuse to leave!"
Issue 1: Who should we agree with?
 
2
 
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1
 

The poll was created at 00:01 on June 28, 2015, and so far 10 people voted.

Wounded Veterans Demand A Helping Hand

NBS Nightly News has run an interview with a former Nukapedian Army officer who has resorted to using a hook as a replacement for the hand he lost in combat after the Department of Veterans Affairs failed to cover the cost of prosthetic surgery, prompting a deluge of complaints about the way Nukapedia takes care of its wounded veterans.

Solution One: "You can't ask young Nukapedians to go overseas to serve their country and then abandon them when they come home injured," insists recently returned double-amputee Brian True. "Wounded veterans like myself who have given their limbs for this nation deserve to live in handicap-accessible housing, and to have the cost of our surgeries and therapy fully covered, even if it does cost an arm and a leg. What's the point of spending so much on expensive new tanks and planes if you're not going to take care of those of us who have given so much already?"
Solution Two: "We couldn't agree more that these brave veterans deserve a better standard of living," hastily interjects Pete Jefferson, CEO of military equipment supplier Global Strategic Solutions, Inc. "But there's no sense cutting procurement orders to pay for it. We would consider it our patriotic duty to foot the bill for free prosthetics for anyone injured in the line of duty ourselves. And all we'd ask in return is an agreement to plaster -- er, decorate -- the prostheses with advertisements for our civilian sales branch."
Solution Three: "That takes care of the symptoms, but not the cause," announces Professor Elizabeth Gutenberg, Director of the NAF's highly secretive Special Projects Division. "As long as we insist on using flesh and blood troops on the battlefield, these kind of injuries are going to continue to cause so much inefficiency -- oh, and human suffering too, I guess. I say it's time we unleashed Operation Codename: Giant Killer Robots!"
Issue 2: Who should we agree with?
 
5
 
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The poll was created at 00:01 on June 28, 2015, and so far 8 people voted.

FOLLOW UP: It's The Final Countdown

The story so far: You have decided that the only sensible response to the crisis in Brasilistan is a nuclear one.

Nukapedia's nuclear missiles stand ready. You know the risks. You've weighed the options. But the NSA requires your final approval before launching a nuclear strike on Brasilistan.

Solution One: "There is nothing left to discuss," says General Akira Khan, his voice echoing strangely loudly in the crowded war room. "The way forward is clear. Indeed, it is the only choice remaining. We are locked into this course of action. There's no actual decision to be made at all. So go ahead. Press the button. There's no stopping it now."
Issue 3: Who should we agree with?
 
6
 

The poll was created at 00:01 on June 28, 2015, and so far 6 people voted.