Like war we will never change”
|Civil Rights||Economy||Political freedom|
The United States of Nukapedia has now been founded in the The East Pacific and we can now start to vote on our issues. Every week I will bring you a number of issues, each with a number of solutions which you can all vote on. The most popular solution will be put through.
About our nation
The United States of Nukapedia is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, sprawling nuclear power plants, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 250 million Nukapedians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.
The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.0%.
The strong Nukapedian economy, worth 15.8 trillion bottle caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is 63,378 bottle caps, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 183,551 per year while the poor average 17,342, a ratio of 10.6 to 1.
Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, the military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan, eight year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement, and the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nukapedia's national animal is the deathclaw, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.
Nukapedia is ranked 3,117th in The East Pacific and 63,471st in the world for Highest Drug Use, scoring 72 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.
National happenings are quick snippets of information which update every time we pass legalization.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, eight year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, the military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan.
Last week's issues
Where in the Woods Is Cindy SanFrancisco?
After their daughter wandered off into the woods behind her house, a pair of teary-eyed parents interrupts one of your meetings, beseeching you to step up the rescue effort.
yes Solution One: "She's only t-t-three years old!" sobs the lost girl's mother. "She'll never make it out there in the wilderness all alone. She's going to d-d-d-", her husband steps in as she breaks down in tears, "Please, you have to do something! There aren't enough rescue workers out there. You need to hire more or divert them from other areas or something! What's more important than a child's safety?"
no Solution Two: "Hmph!" scoffs Zack Utopia, your miffed financial advisor. "The nerve of some people! Do you really want to squander all that money on one kid? If you're stupid enough to walk off into the forest all by yourself, maybe you shouldn't make it to adulthood to have your own stupid kids. Survival of the fittest never hurt anyone – anyone worthwhile that is. We need to get rid of this unnecessary safety net. No more rescue teams. Then maybe parents will actually watch their moron kids."
no Solution Three: "Search teams are just too inefficient," says Gertie Zhimo, CEO of Eye See You Surveillance. "Thousands of citizens searching high and low with no promise of success. Now what we need to do is implant GPS tracking devices into all citizens. Think about it! No more lost kids, no more fugitives, no more alibis. No need to ask where you were on the night of February 7th. We already know."
no Solution Four: "Yer all missin' the heart o' the matter," barks Lee de Vries, a burly, crosscut-saw wielding lumberjack. "The problem isn't these lil' rascals gettin' lost; it's what they're gettin' lost in. If we chop down those damned woods, well then there won't be anythin' to get lost in, now will there? You give me and my team the OK, and we'll make those wooded deathtraps a thing o' the past!"
We opted to agree with the lost girl's mother and hired more rescue workers.
Diamonds Are An Expat's Best Friend!
Media outlets have been buzzing about the thousands of children abducted from their remote villages across the exotic nation of Brasilistan, suspected to have been carried out on the order of their own government. Reports are coming in that the abducted children have been sent underground to mine for diamonds, Brasilistan's most precious resource, but military intelligence suggests that some young Nukapedian citizens living there have fallen to the same fate.
yes Solution One: "The Brasilistani government have been pursuing aggressive and provoking policies for years, especially in their attempts to annex their neighbour Marche Noir. Now they're abducting and holding hostage not only their own children, but citizens of other countries!" booms General Prudence Goethe, slamming her fist on the conference table and urgently gesturing to a map on the wall. "We have sat idly by and now it's our people over there waking up in the middle of the night to bombs and soldiers destroying their homes! Leader, we must marshal our forces and intervene with the only language the Brasilistani seem to understand - violence!"
no Solution Two: "The good general is surely exaggerating the threat here." Alexander de Jong, one of your trusted advisers responds calmly while drinking his tea. "Brasilistan is our foremost diamond trade partner, so we must approach the situation with diplomacy and targeted efforts. A knee-jerk military response is the worst thing we could possibly do here. I am confident that with some juicy incentives, the Brasilistani government will discover their error and immediately release our citizens."
We opted to agree with General Prudence Goethe, and attacked Brasilisan.
Kids And Criminality: Whose Responsibility?
Recent studies showing that the sources of Nukapedia's most common street crimes (vandalism, muggings, joyriding, and witchcraft) are children under the age of criminal responsibility has prompted a national outcry for government action.
yes Solution One: "These damned hooligans are running wild on our streets!" splutters hard-nosed Sergeant Jennifer Delauter of the police force. "My overworked officers can't cope anymore! Everywhere we look we're being surrounded by mobs of unruly children! I need you to give me and my officers the power to dish out punishment to these little hoodlums. I don't care how young these kids are - they need to learn to behave properly as soon as possible. Even if it requires a short jail sentence of ten years or so."
no Solution Two: "The last thing we need is a police force that prosecutes, convicts, AND sentences young kids!" yells outraged Child Welfare Officer Klaus Dodinas. "These youngsters are merely children being playful! Let them learn from their own mistakes! You can't tell me you weren't ever naughty when you were that young! Experience is the tree from which learning is a fruit, remember, and besides: the taxes needed to round them all up would be murder."
no Solution Three: "Hah! Yeh're lookin' at this the wrong way!" says Elaine al-Zahawi, an elderly pensioner, hobbling up to you and poking you in the chest with a walking stick. "When I was wee, and if I was caught breakin' the law, me dad would've beaten seven types of bahoola out of me! If a kid's gone maladjusted and started nickin' cars and whatnot, look at the parents and punish them for not bringin' the tiny scions up right! Yeh can't blame a kid for the environment they were raised in an' that's that!"
We opted to agree with Sergeant Jennifer Delauter and children can now be jailed for their crimes.
This week's issues
Click though the tabs to view and vote on the different issues.
Maternity Leave A Must, Say Mothers
A coalition of expectant mothers (Mothers 4 Justice) has banded together to demand legislation allowing for six months of fully paid maternity leave.
Solution One: "Six months?! Six WHOLE months?!" blusters Georgina Chicago, a payroll manager. "Six whole months of being fully paid by our company for doing nothing but looking after a baby?! This will sink the small businesses and lose us an obscene amount of revenue! We cannot allow this to pass!"
Solution Two: "I believe that passing this law will be a step in the right direction," says Jennifer Neumann, the nation's most outspoken feminist advocate. "These kids need their mothers' love and attention during an important part of their growth development! I don't see why mums should be forced to juggle with the stress of bringing up children and having a job! It's simply too much! Six months maternity leave with full pay is what this country needs - even if it is at the expense of a few avaricious fat cats."
Solution Three: "Look, I've got an idea," says Declan Sanchez, an obsessive centrist. "Perhaps we can allow for six months of paid maternity leave, but have the government pay the companies for lost revenue? That way the mothers can bring up their children without financial worries, companies won't lose investors, and everyone will be happy. Apart from the taxpayers, of course, but you can't please everyone."
Referenda: Are They Right For Nukapedia?
After the Parliament of Nukapedia recently passed a controversial law that polls have shown to be very unpopular with the public, a group of concerned citizens has called for mandatory referenda for all laws passed before the state.
Solution One: "We want real democracy, and we want it now!" proclaims Hope Woolf, spokesperson for special interest group 'Direct Democracy Now!' "The fact that this latest law went through has proven that voting for a Parliament every four years is obviously not enough. Laws must be passed by the masses - that is the only way we can be sure that the will of the people is truly being enforced! We must have mandatory referenda for ALL new laws."
Solution Two: "Don't listen to these demagogues!" implores one of your top advisors, John Nguyen. "This is a ridiculous and dangerous idea! Referenda are costly and inefficient, and a direct threat to the fine institution that is our Parliament. What do you think we have the Parliament for anyway? Our citizenry nowadays don't know what's good for them. They're too busy milling around at the mall and buying sneakers WITH LIGHTS IN THEM. More control needs to be given to our qualified, intelligent--and most of all INFORMED--politicians."
Solution Three: "Referenda are a good idea in principle, but to make them mandatory for each and every law is simply impractical," states Political Scientist Agnes Delauter. "Representative democracy exists because direct democracy would never work in practice in a large society such as Nukapedia. Just think of all the bureaucracy and expense that would go into it! I suggest that referenda be allowed, but only if at least a third of voters sign a petition requesting one. That should be a nice balance between democracy and practicality."
FOLLOW UP: Napalm In The Morning
The story so far: A troubled country called Brasilistan has abducted Nukapedian tourists and sent them to work in diamond mines in appalling conditions. You gathered your advisers and decided the best course of action was war; immediate and violent.
This is a grim day in the history of Nukapedia. Today, Nukapedia goes to war. All eyes are on officials in Nukapedia City, waiting with bated breath to learn what form the coming conflict with Brasilistan will take.
Solution One: "We must mount a full-scale invasion," declares General Alexei Trax while jabbing at a map of Brasilistan. "We can land forces here, here, and here; and from there we can march straight on to their capital! It could cost millions of our soldiers' lives and take years, but short of nuking Brasilistan, this is the only road to victory."
Solution Two: "With all due respect, General, you are completely out of your mind!" Lara Chen of the Air Force huffs. "A full on attack will decimate our troop levels! This is a land whose terrain and climate our foot soldiers are unaccustomed to. No, the best approach is clearly the tactical one. We have gathered a list of targets that can be taken out through a sustained aerial campaign. This will reduce Brasilistan's ability to wage war long before we land a single troop carrier in their territory. Why send scores of our soldiers to their deaths when we can send scores of our bombs instead?"