Like war we will never change”
|Civil Rights||Economy||Political freedom|
The United States of Nukapedia has now been founded in the The East Pacific and we can now start to vote on our issues. Every week I will bring you a number of issues, each with a number of solutions which you can all vote on. The most popular solution will be put through.
About our nation
The United States of Nukapedia is a small, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 40 million Nukapedians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.8%.
The strong Nukapedian economy, worth 2.35 trillion bottle caps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Pizza Delivery, and Book Publishing. Average income is 58,758 bottle caps, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.
Citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, military spending recently hit a new high, meat-eating is frowned upon, and Nukapedia's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nukapedia's national animal is the deathclaw, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.
Nukapedia is ranked 3,801st in The East Pacific and 83,572nd in the world for Least Corrupt Governments, scoring -30 on the Inverse Mugabe Relativity Rating.
National happenings are quick snippets of information which update every time we pass legalization.
- Nukapedia was reclassified from "Capitalizt" to "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy".
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, Nukapedia's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, meat-eating is frowned upon.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, military spending recently hit a new high.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements.
- Following new legislation in Nukapedia, nudity is frowned upon.
Last week's issues
Animal Liberation Front Strikes Again
The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.
no Solution One: "These nuts have got to be stopped," demands concerned consumer Efthamia Ruff. "They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
yes Solution Two: "These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue," pleads Barack Dodinas. "Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?"
no Solution Three: "Animals have feelings too!" yells protestor Dave al-Zahawi, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. "Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!"
no Solution Four: Economist Fleur Peters has an alternative. "You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs."
We opted to agree with Barack Dodinas.
Nudists Demand Time In Sun
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.
no Solution One: "For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yells protester Doris Lopez, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"
no Solution Two: "I agree," muses sociology professor Kirby James. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."
yes Solution Three: "Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant Hack Utopia. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"
We opted to agree with Hack Utopia
Budget Time: Accountants Excited
It's time for the government to allocate spending for the coming year, and as always, special interest groups are keen to have their say.
no Solution One: "The state of the education system is, in many areas, simply frightful," says Teachers Union leader Natalia McKay. "And even where we are doing well, we could do better. I appeal to the authorities for a substantial boost in funding. Remember, the children are our future."
yes Solution Two: "We won't have a future unless we improve police numbers and rebuild the military," says General Chastity Summers. "Oh, it's all well and good to have your fancy education and your nice cars, until some tinpot dictatorship decides to invade. And don't pretend like there aren't any of them in our region. Our number one priority has to be security."
no Solution Three: "Education is nice, but Health and Social Welfare are more important," says celebrity social worker Gregory Woolf. "This is where the people who really need government help are: the marginalized of our society. If we don't help them, what kind of a nation are we?"
no Solution Four: "Hey, I've got a crazy idea," says noted libertarian and bird-watcher Efthamia Nguyen. "How about the government stops taking so much tax from people? Give us a tax cut and we'll buy the things we need ourselves. People need to be weaned off the government teat!"
We opted to agree with General Chastity Summers.
Too Much Yakking, Already, Say Delegation
Some people say Nukapedia's policy on free speech has gone too far.
no Solution One: "These days, anyone says whatever they want with no regard to what kind of dribble is coming out of their mouths!" says angry commuter Prudence Falopian. "It's gone too far. We should go back to the good old days, when if someone started talking garbage, we'd smack them one."
yes Solution Two: "We need more free speech, not less," argues civil rights campaigner Calvin Eliot. "Free speech allows ideas to be explored, challenged, and discussed in a productive, open forum. It teaches our kids to be critical thinkers. And dirty words, of course, but that's just the price you pay."
no Solution Three: "The right to free speech is a central tenet of our system of democracy," says religious leader Stefanie Dimitrov. "But surely the right to not have your religious beliefs mocked by others is worth something, too? We mustn't put up with intolerance!"
We opted to agree with Calvin Eliot
Police Consider "Big Brother" Anti-Crime System
The Police department is considering installing surveillance cameras in all major public areas, in an effort to crack down on crime.
no Solution One: "This is a blatant invasion of the right to privacy!" says libertarian web site operator Faith Goethe. "Now I can't even go out in public any more without being watched? And you know this is just the beginning. Today there are cameras in city streets. Tomorrow they're peering through your bedroom window."
no Solution Two: "Hey, I've got news for you," says Police media liaison Alexei de Jong. "When you're out in public, PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. These cameras will be extremely helpful in reducing the national crime rate. Frankly, I can't see what the fuss is about."
yes Solution Three: "This 'slippery slope' argument has got me thinking," says Police Minister Lara Never. "You know, it would be a lot easier to fight crime if we watched people all the time. Not with cameras, of course. That's clearly an invasion of privacy. But how about a national database of our citizens, coupled with compulsory ID cards and barcoding? It would stop crime dead in its tracks."
We opted to agree with Lara Never
This week's issues
Click though the tabs to view and vote on the different issues.
Reclaim The Streets!
Several major city streets were clogged with bicycles this morning, as the environmental group 'Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad' staged a protest. Several hundred riders ambled through downtown streets, blissfully ignoring the torrent of abuse hurled at them by thousands of motorists running late for work.
Solution One: "People are sick of dirty, smelly automobiles," said protest organizer Billy Washington. "They're choking the city, the environment--our lives! Cars must be banned!"
Solution Two: "The only thing people are sick of is long-haired idiots riding their bicycles at two miles an hour on major thoroughfares," says committed motorist Sophie Wall. "People shouldn't be able to protest like this. The government needs to crack down on them."
Solution Three: The Automotive Manufacturers Association, meanwhile, has called for government support. "It's clear that we need to boost the level of automobile support in this country. This protest this morning is a clear indication of... um... anyway, we need more government funds."
Cloning Research Promises New Breakthrough
Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.
Solution One: "It's really very exciting," says lab head Al Silk. "Until now, we've kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it's wrong to clone human embryos. It's too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work."
Solution Two: "Well, if you have to be part of a lunatic fringe group to object to this barbaric practice, I'm a lunatic," says placard-waving protestor Naki Usman. "Of course it would be nice to cure these unnamed diseases, but at what cost? They're messing with the sanctity of human life. It's wrong, and the lab should be shut down immediately."
Appointment Of Spiritual Advisor
It's time for the government to hire a new religious advisor. Your people have narrowed down the candidates to:
Solution One: Catholic Archbishop Alexander Wilson: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
Solution Two: New Age thinker Steffan du Pont: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
Solution Three: Finally, there's Robin de Castro. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."