| Capital Wasteland: Round 3 | |
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Of all the towns in DC which is truly the greatest? The envy of all others? The peak of post apocalyptic living? Find out here, with your host Jasper and weekly special guests as we argue it out LIVE straight to your eye holes.
 Jasper
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Hello ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls to this weeks episode of The Greatest Town in America we'd like to thank everyone for tuning in last week. Before we start, lets take a look back at last time, where we pitted Tenpenny Tower, Underworld, Oasis and Megaton against each other to see who you thought was the greatest town. The winner with an astounding 153 votes was Megaton. We have Confessor Cromwell here with us right now. So Cromwell, are you proud of your victory in our second round?
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It would seem Atom has smiled upon us. May all those who voted in favor of our great town be blessed with Atom's glow.
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| Jasper
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Now, without further ado, lets meet this week's guests. First off we have errrr... Sticky from Bigtown.
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Hello. Would you like to hear a joke?
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Jasper |
Ummm... No. MacReady from Little Lamplight.
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That's MAJOR MacCready, Mungo.
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Jasper |
Mungo? What's a mungo? Is that like a muggle?
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No.
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Jasper |
Moving on. Scott from Canterbury Commons
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That is no longer my name. I am no longer Scott; I am the mechanist, hero of mankind!
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Jasper |
Noted. Lastly we have Tanya Christoff from Canterbury Commons! Wait? What you two are from the same town? I'm not sure that's even allowed...
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Foolish human! Tanya is my old name! Tanya is no more! I am the AntAgoniser!
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Jasper |
Oh hell, where do they find these people... *sigh* Sticky, tell us about Big Town
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I used to live in Little Lamplight, but them the brats kicked me out because I was too much of an adult for them. So now I live in Big Town with my girlfriend Red, but she isn't here because she was kidnapped by Super Mutants and that made me sad. But Big Town is great, because we don't have any bratty little kids around.
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Jasper |
So are super mutant attacks a big problem in Big Town?
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Not really. I mean yeah, they show up all the time and kidnap us and drag us off to god knows where, but Flash has a gun so he can shoot them, so we're okay sometimes... It's not as mad as it sounds... Anyway, want to hear a joke?
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Jasper |
Maybe if there's time at the end. MacCready?
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*ahem*.
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Jasper |
Fine, fine. Major MacCready.
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Thanks Mungo. Little Lamplight is cool, it;s just for us kids. We look after ourselves and we don't let stupid smelly mungos in because they would just boss us about and tell us what to do but we do what we want, when we want.
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Jasper |
Anything else?
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Not for you, Mungo.
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Jasper |
Good enough. Mechanist, you're up.
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Canturbury Commons is the safest place in the wasteland. Why? Because it has I, The Mechanist to defend it. No evil shall escape me! Before we suffered daily attacks from my arch nemesis, The Antagoniser but that was before I rose up to defend my people and I will protect this town against the ant menace until death claims me!
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Jasper |
Well then, lets see what the Antagoniser has to say about that.
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Foolish human! You shall all fall before my ant army!
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Jasper |
Very nice, Tanya, but this is about your town.
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I have told you not to call me that, human! Your foolish games mean nothing to me! Soon my ant army will rise up over the weak humans and devour you all!
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Jasper |
Okay, maybe we had best stop here.
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Speaking of ants, that reminds me of a joke.
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Jasper |
Not now Sticky...
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Once upon a time there was this big ant...
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kkkkkllllii *click click*
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Yeah, just like that. Anyway, this ant... Hey look, there's a bunch of them.
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Jasper |
Ummm... how did the Ants get in here?
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fear my ant army, puny humans! Bow before us and we promise your deaths will be swift!
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Stand down, Antagonist! You cannot beat me and my robots! Evil can never triumph over good!
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Jasper |
Oh god. Cut to commercial. CUT TO COMMERCIAL...
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Take the leap...enjoy a Quantum!
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*static*...
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Don't forget to lend a hand to our sister over at Neverland's Nukapedia if you speak the lingo, thanks.