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Capital Wasteland: Round 1
AndaleRepublic of Dave

Andale

Republic of Dave

GrayditchGirdershade

Grayditch

Girdershade


Of all the towns in DC which is truly the greatest? The envy of all others? The peak of post apocalyptic living? Find out here, with your host Jasper and weekly special guests as we argue it out LIVE straight to your eye holes.


50px-1907699.png Jasper
Hello ladies and gentleshrooms, to the first televised edition of "Greatest Town in America" since the heavens rained atomic fire down upon us. This week please welcome Linda from Andale., welcome to the show Linda.

Thank you Jasper, pleasure to be here.
Linda Smith
Linda

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Jasper
Dave of The kingdom of Dave.

*ahem* I believe you will find that's the Republic of Dave.
Dave
Dave

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Jasper
Bryan of Grayditch.

Help! Someone help me! There are monsters attacking my...
Bryan Wilks
Bryan

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Jasper
Hate to cut you off there, Byran, but we still have one guest left to introduce.

But...
Bryan Wilks
Bryan

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Jasper
And last but not least Sierra from Girdershade.

Hello.
Sierra Petrovita
Sierra

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Jasper
Now that introductions are out of the way, why don't you all tell us a little about your town? Linda?

Andale is the perfect town; we have a wonderful little community and we've won "the greatest town in Virginia" award many times. Best thing about living in Andale is how close we all are, everyone knows everyone and we all have our jobs to do. We never go hungry, not with my husband, Jack, out catching food for us, bless his soul. And everyone agrees my meat pies are to die for.
Linda Smith
Linda

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Jasper
Wonderful. How many other towns actually enter that competition, anyway?

Well... It's just us, but even if it wasn't we'd still win. It's what our mother and father always told me and Jack when we were growing up
Linda Smith
Linda

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Jasper
I thought you said Jack was your husband?

He is.
Linda Smith
Linda

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Jasper
Uh huh... Moving on. Dave?

The Republic of Dave is the only true sovereign nation in the Wasteland. The only really civilized place left in the world. Ever since I succeeded my father as the ruler of this fine nation I liberated my subjects and brought true freedom back to this commie infested wasteland. My republic has returned to the great old ways of America and chosen to elect our rulers though democratic voting.
Dave
Dave

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Jasper
I'm sorry, did you say commie infested"?

Yes. The Republic is the only nation that is truly free. That is truly American. We have returned to our true democratic roots, we vote for our leaders, can any of you say the same?
Dave
Dave

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Jasper
Yes, it was rather brave of you to introduce an election system. Aren't you afraid you could lose your place as president?

That seems unlikely, my people know I am the the rightful leader so no one else runs.
Dave
Dave

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Jasper
Well that doesn't sound very democratic...

What was that?.
Dave
Dave

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Jasper
I said it's time to head on over to Bryan from Grayditch!

Please help me! They're attacking Grayditch! They killed everyone! THEY KILLED MY FATHER! Oh god help me!
Bryan Wilks
Bryan

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Jasper
Very nice Bryan but why don't you tell us something about your town?

The whole town is infested! Please help me!
Bryan Wilks
Bryan

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Jasper
Okay so I don't think we're getting anything out of him... Sierra, tell us a little about Girdershade.

Well, Girdershade is just me and Ronald, he's the sweetest thing, always offering to do helpful little things for me such as "butter my muffin" or "plow my bean field", of course I don't have any muffins... Or a bean field, but it's the though that counts, right?
Sierra Petrovita
Sierra

Ummm... Darling, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick on this one. He means he wants to...
Dave
Dave

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Jasper
Leave it Dave. So, Sierra, what is there to see in Girdershade? It seems pretty far out there.

There's the Dunwich Building to the south but Ronald always tells me to steer clear of it, says it has "bad mojo". But in the town itself is the greatest wonder of the post apocalyptic world! My Nuka Cola Museum! The largest, and to my understanding only, collection of Nuka Cola merchandise. I have a human sized Nuka Cola bottle and a Official Nuka Cola fridge and a Nuka Cola vending machine, Ronald got me that one...
Sierra Petrovita
Sierra

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Jasper
Very nice Sierra, but...

And a Nuka Cola sign and a bunch of Nuka Cola of course and a Nuka Cola lamp and even some special recipes too. And...
Sierra Petrovita
Sierra

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Jasper
AND THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR FOLKS! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!


Round 1: Greatest Town in America
 
44
 
124
 
21
 
30
 

The poll was created at 23:27 on August 6, 2013, and so far 219 people voted.