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What if you could... Make the game?

Thanks for Rejoining us for Fallout Apprentice. Unfortunately that nasty Real-world game got in the way of us bringing this episode as quick as we'd have liked, but we are back.

Sadly, we have had a no show... Don't be too depressed, it means all those who posted a response go to the next round!

Challenge 1 - Address Unknown.
Address Unknown - oh how could I be so blind? Who’d think that you would never be hard to find? From the place of your birth to the ends of the earth I’ve searched only to find - only to find - Address Unknown.

It's time to tell us where it all starts. Tell us about the introduction of you game.

This should include:

  • Ron's Speech
  • The first area of your game that sets up the story and initial main quest
  • Your Initial area - where is it? What does it look like?
  • The tutorial quest line that teaches the player the controls and game mechanics
  • A new game mechanic that did not appear in F3 / New Vegas (eg lock picking, hacking). This should be intertwined in your tutorial.

Get us excited... and if you can make us want your game more than F4, then you'll be sure to succeed.

Archmage Neko

You’ve set up an interesting clash of cultures in your setup, The new empire, the rise of an “old enemy” again, and our old friends from California. The Wrecked vehicle is something I’ve thought of back when I wrote a game spec. You’re also going over the Van Buren grounds, redeveloping them as you go.

I would suggest linking it with a central “pitch” document, so I know where to start with reading your enry.

I’m not sure about archeology, and its inergration into the challenge. It seemed to just be used in the tutorial stage as repair has in the past, I would have liked to see the “new functions” more prominent.

I’d also suggest redoing the tutorial so you have to visit both camps, so you get a teaser into both groups, and get a more informed choice when you reach denver.

Overall, a good start, I worry perhaps it might be too freeform like NV, but a worthy start.


Peace and Hugs

You’ve given me a pitch rather than full on wiki documents, thats fine, it allows me to follow it better.

Steam boats are cool, and playing as a ghoul can add a potentially new dimension. I’ll be looking to make sure that this isn’t a cosmetic choice, but actually has effects on how people treat you.

I take it your new feature is the vertical eagle view.

I would have liked to see some more detail however, and I hope you’ll bring it with the next installment



I would have liked to see a pitch document to bring it all together. When I jump into what I think is your first quest, I feel like I’m mising smething… Who is Harrington? Why is he giving me stuff? What makes me go to Old Circle City?

I also think you need to double check your grammar, some of your sentances are hard to follow.

The sticking ability just seems like an enhancement to existing traps skill rather than a new ability. I would have liked to see something a bit more. Maybe if you were able to construct traps (adding sensors, explosives, timers) and create a “system”, that would be enough.


Official Lol Guy

Thank you for the overview. It helps me follow your articles

and was the only American city to use experimental short-range warhead defence technology

Lore purists are going to go after you for this, Vegas was protected by House’s warheads… But it looks like they did a much better job in Chi-Town…

I got to say I love the Rich vs Poor vibe you’re creating here. This seems very well thought out, and I can’t wait t see where it goes

Jasper42 - I like your profeional script, it echos of Fallout 2’s “enclave storming the vault” but in reverse… The chice of Florida has a lot of potential going for it, but it is a bit of a “fallout wasteland” - the sequel to Waseland died here, as did the sequel to Tactics before it was released.

The lack of an overarching “pitch document” makes it a bit hard to follow from one page to the next.

Not sure about the “Finisher” feature myself, it seems a bit “Mortal Kombat” for my taste, but given the spectacuar “Critical” killings that have always been with fallout, maybe I’m wrong on that account.

You’re not giving away much of your story yet, which makes me wonder what is to come.

The Ever Ruler

I like the idea of the “Cold Open” before the Ron speech.. I think it adds attention to the speech. Having the “Mutation States” is also likely to satisfy many fans who want to play as the other mutant types.

The linking to the older games is good, and rather than seeming contrived, your tutorial fits the story very well. However, one thing that can’t be denied is that your submission leaves us all wanting more….Perhaps a little too more in this case.

Archmage Neko – A very good entry. While I’m not personally a fan, I’m sure many will want to see what the territory of the (collapsed) Legion is like. The quests are mostly simple but have a high number of options, both small choices and large ones. They feature two large factions that you can join that I hope will be shown off more in the future, and I hope you will be able to change and/or quit them considering how early it is. All in all, a very good start to the competition.

The Ever Ruler – I’m honestly surprised that more entries didn’t allow for playing ghouls and super mutants. I liked the pros and cons of each race, including the ghoul’s radiation effects which remind me a bit of playing as a vampire in Elder Scrolls. Starting the game with breaking out and hijacking a prison truck gives this game a bit of a new feel to it, and is a nice tutorial for everything. I hope to see this pan out in future entries, and that the vertibird bombing gets explained later.

OfficialLolGuy – A lot of new interesting features, such as the Myrtle Labs and the parachuting. My one fear, but not complaint so far, is that it’s leaning a lot on the shooter part of the game, with not many mentions of the roleplaying aspect. The entry also, while has a LOT of backstory, doesn’t really get into the quest-side of things and explain what the character is actually supposed to be doing, which may explain the lack of RPG mentions. However, having the first Vault that didn’t follow its experiment and a city that actually seems to be advancing could lead to interesting story.

Jasper42 – While the introduction, you and your group failing to get into a Vault and everyone dying around you, was good, I felt that it could’ve had more proceeding it. An emotional attachment, or at least some interaction, with the group would’ve made their deaths have far more impact. The finisher dialog feature seemed rather simple at first, but I liked it. You rarely, if ever, got the option to just tell someone you defeat to go away or decide the way they die or more, it’s usually just shoot them until they fall over, boss or no. Altogether, a strong entry.

Peace’n Hugs – I liked what was there. Starting off on a steamboat is something new to Fallout, it gives an interesting tutorial on how to do combat using radigators, and gave a brief mention of what appears to be a major faction, the Enclave. My main complaint was that it was way too short. The Disguise skill was mentioned, and I assume that is your new game mechanic, but is not elaborated on at all. Characters are not elaborated on nor is the quest really that long. I felt like there was a lot of potential, but there needed to be more there.

Thecoldboringguy157 – My first complaint would be spelling and punctuation, I can ignore it to a point but at times it becomes hard to understand, such as the perk’s description. I also question if all of this is supposed to be part of the beginning, with mentions of having to take a vehicle to get to Old Circle City, having speech checks requiring a skill of 60, and paying 2500 caps. It did have a few points where it shined however, such as the explosive trap and having the amount of time available based off your Luck.

  1. Archmage Neko
  2. The Official Lol Guy
  3. The Ever Ruler
  4. Jasper42
  5. Peace'n Hugs
  6. TheColdBoringGuy157

As Indianaspace2 did not submit, Indianaspace2 is dropped from the game

Challenge 2 - Someone's rocking my dreamboat...
Someone's rocking my dreamboat, disturbing the beautiful dream. It's a mystery to me, this mutiny at sea, who can it be?

You told us about the good guy, now tell us about the "big bad". Who are they? Where did they come from? What is their plan? Who are their followers?

This should include:

  • a bio on the main villain.
  • an description of their lair (Do not tell us about how the final encounter will go, just describe the location)
  • a description of their lieutenants and henchmen

Due date: 29 September.

Contestants, Link your entries, as a blog page, in the comments below, Everyone else you're welcome to post questions, queries and comments.