What if you could... Make the game?
Welcome back to Fallout: The Apprentice. In this edition we're going to reveal the reveal the contestant's entries for round 2, and let you vote to eliminate one of our candidates.
We'll also be showing you Challenge 3 - and giving you a peek into our prize vault!
Every now and then a rumour reappears that Fallout is about to appear in some other media – usually a TV show or Movie… Although after Fallout 1 a film treatment was written, and fan projects like Fallout: Lanius and Nuka Break have been put into production, no such official show or movie has appeared yet.
You are to write a “Treatment” for a Fallout Telemovie.
This may seem like a daunting task, so I strongly recommend you read the following carefully. We are after less work than you may think.
- Before beginning this task you should become familiar with what a “Treatment” is - read and reread the Fallout Film treatment on the wiki, base your writing style off this.
- To emphasise this point, you are NOT writing a script. The script would be the next phase in the process. However, you may find it helpful to where there is a critical bit of dialogue to dip into script form for a few lines.
- You do not have to give an overly detailed description of every single character and location. 1-2 paragraphs each is probably about right.. You may want to emphasise a few characters or fixed location that may become regulars or who otherwise have a large profile with a full page, but not too many.
- A “Telemovie” is a movie that is intended to have its first run on television. These are often used as “Pilots” for a potential TV series to be based off them (like Battlestar Galactica). You should ensure that your movie ends in such a way that would support a future series – a few characters to continue, perhaps a few plot openings, unanswered questions, ultimate quest to achieve, etc.
- If it matters to you, consider the projected movie length about 90 minutes; however I would advise not really worrying about running time.
- The Focus here is on the storyline; if it helps, think of it like writing a main quest line, but ignoring all the silly side stuff and streamlining it a bit.
- Old World Relics takes us to Ronto
- Dead Gunner has us walk the high road.
- Paladin117 takes us to Seattle
- SaintPain tells the story of Walker, Talker, and Stalker
- GarouxBloodline shows us how the war began
- Leafless has everyone's favourite cereal, Sugar Bombs!
- Ghoullover tells us her story is "not violent enough"
| ||This user is Canadian so take into account any wrong spellings, may just be the correct Canadian spellings.|
| ||This article is an entry for the Fallout: The Apprentice contest. It should not be confused with in game content.|
The Great War. Lasting only two hours, yet capable enough to annihilate the entire world. An exchange of force like no other seen in the Fallout world to any date. The impact was massive to all. Now we know of the impact on the U.S.A. but how about their neighbor to the North? The story of the Canadian aftermath of the Great War has been more or less overlooked... Until now...
Welcome, to Ronto, formerly know as Toronto, Canada. Enjoy your stay, and watch out for murderous raider parties!
As layed out by the Fallout film treatment article.
- The suns shinning on a less than happy looking apocalyptic day in Ronto. The camera pans across a local market of ramshackle vendors selling everything for miscellaneous junk to food and weapons. This is a very load and chaotic area with everything from the sounds of Brahmin to that of Assault carbines being tested and arguing merchants trying to just make by in this hell of a world. Then the camera catches our main protagonist, Steven Nydam, and follows him as he makes his way through the market.
- Steven stops at a few of the vendors and buys supplies he and his girl friend Victoria need for the week ahead. A noise coming from a nearby alley draws his attention. Steven moves to investigate as he pulls his trusty .357 magnum revolver from his holster.
- Steven finds a local ganger by the name of Brutus and some of his fellow scum being on a helpless merchant. Steven being the Canadian he is moves into help the poor merchant when Brutus notices his present. Brutus remarks with "None of your concern you fuck!" and continues beating on the merchant and talking about how the merchant ripped him off 10 Bottle caps. 10 bottlecaps. This man could die over ten goddamn bottlecaps. And so is the pain of what is now Ronto.
- Steven moves towards Brutus when some of his fellow gangers start to approach Steven. He remembers the promise he made to his girlfriend that morning: "No matter what happens in this hell of a world we live in, I will always be there for you." He backs away from the gangers and lives to fight another day. He returns to the market to finish gathering supplies.
- After finishing up with the market, and carrying an extra heavy pack Steven begins the hour walk back to the settlement of Queens, located in the leftovers of Queens University. The settlement is quite small, only housing about 15 people. It's quite far out of the way with no settlements within a 45 minute distance. The positives of Queens are the fact that the surrounding area is quite rip still for much scavenging, and raiders hardly even know of it's being. Though some still have been known to pester the settlement.
- On the way back, Steven encounters a raider group of 4 holding up a traveling merchant. Steven approaches silently from behind and pulls his .357 revolver. He takes aim and fires. One raider down. Aims again. Another raider down. The third raider turns and begins firing on Steven, well the fourth shoots the merchant as he attempts to escape. Steven being pinned down pulls of his pack and reaches in. He emerges with a grenade in hand. Pulling the pin he lobs it in the direction of the raiders, who now both are firing on him. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. And the explosion rings out, sending the raiders flying in a hail of shrapnel. All is quite as the air clears, until the cries of the injured merchant rise above the ringing of the grenade.
- Steve approaches the injured merchant as the pains seems to be increasing do to the merchant's increase in screams. The merchant speaks to Steven and says "The pain! It's just too much! I've lived a good life but God just end it! I can't take this fucking pain anymore!" The merchant grabs Stevens gun and motions it towards himself and continues on with pleas to end his pain. The screen switches to two birds sitting on as crumbling building. They fly away as a revolver sounding weapon shot rings out.
- As the sun hits about noon Steven arrives back at Queens. Steven pushes open the makeshift gate to the main courtyard when he notices red blood stains on the gate and ground around. Fearing the worse he rushes in to find the area destroyed with small fires burning and spreading quickly. The body of Steven neighbors Gloria and Dan Vankemp sit dead and mutilated on a bench. Steven is saw to have an expression of distaste and disgust. Who could do this? Why Queens? "Oh God, Victoria!" he remembers as he runs towards the former dorm rooms of the university.
- The scene switches and rejoins Steven as he smashes through broken doors and over other debris as his storms towards his and Victoria's room. His revolver in-hand of course. Steven smashes through his room's door not to find Victoria, but in her place a dead raider. 10mm pistol wounds to the chest. Victoria's gun. There is still a chance. He begins searching the raider and the room for any clues as to Victoria's whereabouts. He finds on the raider a scrap of paper with but only two words crudely scribbled on it. The Lakefront
- The camera pans over a boardwalk overlooking a filth and radiation filled lake as Prostitutes, gangers and Raiders all walk it and enter shadowy buildings. This continues as a narrator explains that "The Lakefront" refers to an area around the former Great Lake Ontario on Toronto's southeast edge. The narrator continues to explain that this once prosperous Pre-War shopping area has been in recent years adapted as Ronto's red light district that now houses many of the scum that walk the streets of this once great city. And this is where Steven goes on his search for his girlfriend Victoria.
- After scavenging what he could from the ruins of Queens, Steve heads of to find the love of his life. After traveling for some time and as sun beings to set, Steven decides to spend the night in a nearby abandoned apartment building. Having been in far to many building that have collapsed Steven decides to set up camp in the main lobby. With his revolver no more than an arms length away Steven dozes off for the night.
- Scene starts with Steven being awoke in the night by odd sounds coming from further in the building. Steven attempts to grab for his revolver but is pounced by a rabid dog. A struggle ensues as the dog bites at Steven's throat, just centimeters away. A shot rings out as the dog is flung to the ground with the sound of a bolt of a rifle being pulled back. Looking up Steven sees a well built man, standing about 6'2''. On his back is a large pack much like the one Steven himself carries. After Steven thanks the man for saving his life, the man then tells Steven his name is Richie, and that his settlement much like Steven's was ransacked by raiders with the survivors seeming to have been also taken to The Lakefront. Being in the same predicament, the men agree to travel with each other and get their loved ones back.
- The next morning starts with the men arriving in The Lakefront district, and the camera drifts as them men explore and look for Brutus, the de-facto leader of The Lakefront. The camera explores The Lakefront and showcases the dark of Ronto as it follows prostitutes to "work" and chem deals make a living.
- The scene rejoins Steven and Richie as they enter "The Swines Club", Brutus' unofficial Headquarters of the district. They find the club crawling in raiders and other such scum and Brutus' doing what he does best. Beat helpless victims. Before the men can talk to Brutus they are stopped by one of his guards. As Steven and the guard argue, Richie gets right to it and starts a fight in the bar by attempting to bypass the guards. Fists turn into chairs. Chairs turn into being thrown through windows and tables. Shots begin to ring out as Richie and Steve get pined down behind the bar. As Richie stands to fire his rifle, a shot blast through his upper chest. Blood splats against the backdrop of the bar. Time begins to slow in Steven's head as Richie flings back from the force of the shot. Blood splashes against Steven's face as Richie finally hits the floor. The colour from his face begins to drawn slowly as all life escapes his dying body. And in seconds he gone. Just like that. A matter of seconds real time, yet seeming like hours. Time begins to caught up as bullets continue to ring out around the bar.
- Pinned down Steven begins losing all hope. Tears begin to form in his eyes as the last memories of Victoria begin to flood his mind. Then Brutus is heard above all else and screams of "cease fire!" are heard. Steven slow stands up, pistol at the ready. He's horrified to find Brutus holding Victoria as a human shield. A sheer look of terror on her face. She mouths to Steven "You promised". All that he needs to allow his anger to over take him. He pulls his trusty pistol. With one swift movement he shoots Brutus in the head. All in vain as a large number of bullets now rip through his body. Time slows again as Steven's blood blasts through his clothes onto the bar behind him. He falls to the ground, his body now lifeless. Bullets continue to hand deliver death straight through Steven. The bullets stop. Victoria is seen running to Steven's now motionless body as it lies on the floor and tears begin to flow from her eyes.
- As the camera fades to black all that can be heard are Victoria tears of heartbreak. Her boyfriend is dead. The soul thing keeping her alive is now gone. Her future is unclear, as with many in the wastes.
And so, another soul just trying to do right by itself is swallowed by the pain, hardships and ruthlessness that is the wastelands of Ronto. Like many souls before, Steven died with the memories and thoughts of his loved ones in mind. And he surely won't be the last as the cruelty of the wastes are just like war. And war. War never changes”— Outro narration by Ron Perlman
|The following is based on the canceled Fallout movie and has not been confirmed by canon sources.|
|The following is the original document or a transcript thereof.|
Wasteland Tales: The High Road
- Show quote: "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Samuel Johnson
- The scene shifts to an unknown location, with a broken overpass, and on it, two buildings attached by a small but sturdy makeshift bridge. The overpass behind them is collapsed, and scattered on the road are multiple small crops, such as buffalo gourd seed and maize. The sky shines an orange-blue light and the horizon is seen as purple. The buildings lay a large shadow on the highway, allowing wind to make some travelers cold.
- Our protagonist, Invictus, (if you want information, read his tab on my userpage linked to the left), is seen sleeping. It goes blurry, and we are in a dream he is currently having. He dreams of home, the shining sun, the long, distant fields of crops growing, the ones he loved...
- The dream suddenly gets darker though, and our hero becomes aware that he is just dreaming. The sky becomes immediately dark, and monsters begin killing everyone on the land. He watches in silence in his dream as he watches the faces of those he loved are ripped apart.
- He begins to toss and turn, and he flashes forward to another scene, where he sees his former squad in the NCR crucified, and looks towards his revolver. He watches as he slowly clicks back the hammer, and lets off a shot towards his squadmates, one by one... and cannot wake up from his nightmare.
- He then fast-forwards, once again, to the future. He sees himself on the ground, with blood coming out of the side of his head, and his revolver in the dirt near his hand. He watches as someone simply takes his gear and moves along.
- He then suddenly wakes up, and looks all around him. He lets out a silent cry as he covers his face, frozen in fear and agony. He looks outside towards the sun, and remembers the good parts of the dream... home... the fields... his best friends and tribal family. He remembers this as he gets a drink of water to cure his hangover, and picks up his weapon, laid down to the left of him.
- He stumbles outside, starving, and begins heading towards the linked buildings on what is known as "The High Road". He observes the scenery as he walks, blown away by the large amount of open space, where crops and shrubbery alike grows, the brahmin roaming and grazing. He totes his modified ACR, rather than walking while aiming down the sights. As he continues walking, a shot rattles off near his person, and he immediately springs into a nearby roadblock to try and find cover.
- The shots continue to smack into the cover our protagonist is in, slowly taking pieces off of the roadblock. Upon sight of moving figures coming downhill from The High Road, he closes his eyes and prepares for a quick death. Unknowingly, the people wield sniper rifles, and begin to fire off in the other direction, shooting and killing the enemies that pursued Invictus.
- They will nod their heads towards the protagonist, and ask him if he wants entrance to the town of which they have named "Lion's Gate". He will say "yes" and agree in compliance to their simple wasteland town rules. The townsfolk grab one of their fallen comrades, of which Invictus offers to carry, and begins to carry back up to Lions Gate. The townsfolk shout a small phrase, and a doorman opens up the door.
- When the door is opened, guns are pointed at the protagonist, and he just looks around with a calm, unseen expression on his face, hidden by a ballistic mask. One shouts out: "Why have you let an outsider in?" A reply is heard, "He is not one of Villa's." Upon hearing the sentence, the townsfolk uneasily let in Invictus.
- He lets his hunger be heard, and also reveals that he was wounded during the small High Road showdown, and is shown to the mess hall. In here, he begins eating a lot of food, and doesn't relent until he is approached by one of the medics. A woman he remembers by the name: "Melissa". She approaches with a small dosage of Med-X and a stimpak, and treats the wound that the protagonist received during the small skirmish.
- They begin to have a small chat, and other townsfolk begin talking to Invictus. They begin to feel more comfortable around him, and he can say the same vice versa. He begins to make friends in this town, and the townsfolk are making a friend out of him.
- Suddenly, the conversation shifts to more pressing matters, the town of Lions Gate is being attacked by a mysterious man who leads a town known as The Villa. Upon seeing how armed and dangerous Invictus looks, they ask for his aid. He agrees to help them for no charge, as they fed and healed him.
- He is sent out with the Lions Gate Hunters as they are going to lead an attack on an outpost near the Villa, led by Villa soldiers. As they descend the High Road, Invictus looks back towards a smiling and waving Melissa, whom he gives an acceptive nod and an unseen smile, as he turns around once more and heads with the Hunters.
- The Hunters approach the outpost, and search it frivolously, but it appears to be empty. They check all the tents and look through everything and find one dead body, seen as killed by a super mutant. There are no notes of anything, so they decide to head back to Lions Gate, and report their findings, assuming the Villa has fallen back to the main community, and they are vulnerable. The Hunters talk about the attack on the way back to Lions Gate. The Hunters have been gone for around three hours at this point.
- When they arrive at Lions Gate, they see the makeshift bridge fallen, and destroyed. The building is visibly damaged, and the Hunters accompanied by Invictus hurry into the buildings.
- Invictus searches through all the rubble, and finds nothing but corpses of the townspeople, accompanied by the occasional Villa-allied corpse. After relentless searching for the woman that healed him, he finds her. He finds her dangling from chains, hung to the ceiling. One of the chains pierces her right eyeball, and the other one pierces her neck. He is frozen silent by this sight, and immediately calls for a rally of all the Hunters.
- He calls the Hunters outside, and rallies for a vengeance attack against the mysterious Villa. Driven by blood-rage, the Hunters descend the High Road, and scream their battle shouts as they rush towards the Villa. The talks of vengeance and retribution fill the air with hatred, and the sky becomes more of a dark purple as time passes.
- They arrive at the Villa, and are met immediately by armed guards. They dispatch of the armed guards with no casualties, and breach the main gate of the community. The Hunters of Lions Gate fight their way through the Villa and suffer heavy casualties, down to nearly six men from twenty when they reach the capitol building of the Villa.
- The Hunters breach the Villa capitol door, and are all wiped out except for Invictus and one last Hunter. They immediately find cover, and hold out against seemingly endless Villa soldiers.
- The seemingly final wails made by the last Hunter are heard by Invictus, and particularly frighten him, and he believes himself to be alone. He finishes off the rest of the town guards, getting shot in the same place he was wounded before, and prepares to go confront the Villa leader.
- Upon meeting the leader, he asks about Melissa, and finds out that the Villa leader was the one who led the attack and hung her. Upon receiving death threats from the protagonist, the leader draws his pistol, and shoots Invictus in the chest. Invictus pulls his revolver, wounded but not dead due to armor protection, and shoots the leader in the head before collapsing.
- As Invictus collapses, his eyes go dark and he begins to reminisce. He remembers home... he remembers the stretching fields.. he remembers all the brahmin and the brahmin drivers... he then sees those he lost... he sees Melissa hung from the ceiling, and he sees all his fellow tribals dying. He then sees his future once more, instead... he sees himself bleeding out on this floor... forever to rest.
The following is a treatment for the telemovie Fallout: Seattle Plague. It was written by Paladin117 in 2013 and was stolen by the nefarious Nukapedia one day later. The official script has not been written nor stolen, yet.
|The following is the original document or a transcript thereof.|
- Ron doing normal narration. See black-and-white about the Great War. Switch to war in Mojave. NCR fighting to annex the Mojave, then Mojave fighting against them. Anarchy surprises soldiers, they're forced out of the Mojave. People belief this will be a great time, but Ron ends with famous line "War. War never changes."
- Lydia in small town, casually in an alley. Steals an apple from a store and walks away, no one notices. Sees a paper, reveals it's been 20 years since the Mojave War. Lydia stops near the town center and looks over, seeing a bounty board. Her picture is on one of them -- with the MFR and BoS seals on it -- revealing she's wanted for murder. Lydia continues walking as normal, leaving the town.
- At Shady Sands, Senator Hanlon and Chief Sarrano argue with each other in Hanlon's office. Sarrano storms out without noticing Ethan -- a Veteran Ranger -- standing in the corner of the waiting room. Ethan enters Hanlon's office and Hanlon decides to explain some NCR politics. After failing at the Mojave, the rest of the Senate hopes to expand to the north, to Seattle. They hoped to capitalize on the city's recent plague, but the city turned to the MFR for help instead. As the former chief of the Rangers, Hanlon doesn't trust his replacement -- Sarrano -- and with half the Senate in a rage, he asks Ethan to head to Seattle, hoping there's no foul play. Despite Hanlon no longer being Ethan's boss, he agrees to the favor and heads out.
- Benjamin works at a make-shift lab in secret, in some corner of Seattle's underground. Holotapes playing in the background reveals he was sent to Seattle with other Followers members to try to cure the "Green Death" plague. He has since been ex-communicated from them, but refuses to give up finding a cure. Along with testing various water, blood and unknown samples, reveals a small weapon -- looks like make-shift laser pistol -- that Benjamin believes will help him with his plans.
- At another point of the underground, Dominique returns home with some food and fresh water. Finds her father in bed... not breathing. Reveals the sores covering much of his body, he was infected with Green Death. Dominique is surprisingly calm as she picks up a note -- his last words-- which simply states "I'm sorry." Dominique is now making a grave for him in the tunnel, camera starts zooming out. Reveals graves for the rest of her family. Dominique returns home -- an old ticket booth -- and briefly examines her stomach, showing the same green sores her father had.
- Sam -- a super mutant -- is walking on a highway. Sam seems almost in a daze, just keeps repeating "North." A Merchant is being attacked by a radscorpion. Looks like Merchant may be killed when Sam appears, killing the bug with her bare hands. Merchant is more than grateful. When asked, Sam reveals she doesn't remember much past childhood, not even remembering becoming a super mutant. She just feels the need to go north. Merchant tries to stop her, only thing north is Seattle and it's dangerous for super mutants. Sam doesn't listen, so Merchant gives her food and water to help.
- Lancer is in Big MT -- a MFR science facility -- fighting against robo-scorpions. In a nearby room, General Howl listens as Arcade and Veronica explain Lancer's implants and equipment upgrades. As the first member of the Mojave Commandos, Lancer easily dispatches the robo-scorpions. Howl speaks with Lancer alone, stating that their closest ally -- the Brotherhood of Steel -- are beyond angry over the death of a Knight and break-in at HELIOS One. Howl orders Lancer to find and capture the two criminals before the Brotherhood becomes impatient. Lancer opens the folder he is handed, revealing wanted posters of Lydia and Benjamin.
- Lydia is walking through a different town. She's reading a map when a couple thugs approach her, recognizing her bounty. They heavily underestimate her, however. When they grab her, she responds by turning around, slashing both of their throats with a knife from her sleeve and turning back around as they fall to the ground. Looking back at the map, like nothing happened, reveals her next stop is Cedar River.
- The Seattle City Council is in session. The only item on the list is the Plague. Riots keep springing up and super mutants are being killed in the streets regularly. Despite the MFR's best efforts, policing the city is becoming more difficult as the Emerald Guard loses more men to the chaos and plague. The City Councilor is still positive that asking the MFR is their best hope of saving the city. Some of the other councilors grumble but none have any better ideas.
- Sam arrives at Seattle, passing a couple of Mojave soldiers. The soldiers try to stop her from entering the city, but Sam becomes angry and pushes past them. Sam doesn't realize they were trying to stop her for her protection and two of the soldiers run in after her. Sam walks through ruined and abandoned streets till running into a mob defiling a dead super mutant. The mob turns their attention to Sam and attacks her as Sam is angered at the sight. Sam is quickly overwhelmed by the mob, but is saved by the arrival of the soldiers, firing shots into the air to disperse them.
- Reveals Riot Leader amongst the crowd, who makes a short speech about the MFR ruining their city. This successfully angers the mob who once again proceed to attack both Sam and the soldiers. Not wanting to kill the group, the trio runs but one of the soldiers is knocked unconscious. Sam picks him up and -- seeing no other option -- runs into a nearby metro entrance, leading to the underground. The other soldier quickly follows suit.
- Three of them run through tunnels, ultimately escaping. The unconscious soldier will be fine. The other explains to Sam that after the plague started, many began blaming the super mutants for it. Most super mutants now live in the underground as a result. The other soldier wakes up and the two of them need to get back to their posts. Sam decides to stay, wishing to meet the other super mutants.
- Dominique prepares for another trip, needing food and water. As she walks through the underground, she runs into Mutant Leader, who is trying to break down a door. It's obviously futile, so Dominique intervenes and begins picking the lock. As she works, she admits a bit of envy towards super mutants. Unlike her, they are strong and immune to the plague. Mutant Leader says little, seems to be in thought about what she said. She successfully forces the lock, opening to a room full of junk. He thanks her and she wishes him luck as she walks off.
- Late at night, Benjamin still in his lab. Obviously frustrated, he decides to record himself taking about his past. Reveals he believes he is going to die soon. He was born in a Vault, his role was a doctor. When his Vault left -- he sounds more than resentful there -- he joined the Followers hoping to make a difference for people. When he started researching the Seattle Plague he realized something... it's man-made. No one else could see it, but his Vault education tells him it's a specifically modified version of the pre-war New Plague. When he tried to explain, things only got worse. Ends this with an apology to his wife, hoping she understands.
- Following morning, Dominique is fishing and collecting water from the Cedar River. The water is completely pure and the area is beautiful and green. Dominique hears a crash from a nearby building and decides to investigate. Discovers Lydia in there, who is tearing the place apart. The building is an old education center -- about the river -- from before the war, however there's more recent signs of activity, notably a lab. Lydia reveals she's looking for the man who was here, claiming he ruined everything. When Dominique asks who, Lydia reveals a wanted poster of Benjamin.
- Lydia is walking west on I-90, heading towards Seattle. She stops and complains about Dominique following her. Dominique counters that she lives in Seattle. The two of them start walking together, having an awkward conversation. Dominique reveals she started these trips because her father thought pure water and non-mutated animals would be better for infected people. Lydia notices the sadness in Dominique's voice, but it only annoys her.
- Sam is meeting with the other super mutants. She is angry over their choice to hide underground, believing it to be cowardly. Super mutants -- some of which are nightkin -- argue with each other. They seem to have had this argument several times. Things get a bit heated until the arrival of Mutant Leader. He reminds everyone why they came here in the first place and that attacking the rioters will only make things worse. They found their first home here in decades and everything was great until the plague started, some hope that can return. Mutant Leader leaves for a meeting, with Sam following.
- Sam seems a bit conflicted, not even knowing what or where her home is, or even if she has one. Mutant Leader can't help her, saying she's welcome to stay if she wishes. The two enter a new room with Benjamin waiting for them. He hands Mutant Leader his test results, confirming that the mutants are not the source of the plague. Mutant Leader is relieved that they at least have some proof, however Sam questions how useful a piece of paper from one doctor will be. Benjamin actually agrees with Sam, but Mutant Leader still believes this can all be resolved eventually.
- Ethan is in a bar, listening to random chatter. Overhears mention of boats traveling the canal into Lake Washington almost every night. Ethan decides to check it out, leaving for Mercer Island. Meanwhile, Lancer is traveling the underground and asks two men if they've seen someone like Benjamin's description. They laugh and say yes, but won't tell him where unless he pays them 500 caps. Lancer responds with violence, beating up one of them and twisting the other one's arm till he tells him what he wants to know.
- It's now night time at Mercer Island, where Lydia and Dominique are crossing to get to Seattle. Dominique mentions reports of caravans being attacked on the island recently, but Lydia isn't concerned. The two hear a noise, and look over to find multiple catfish mirelurks staring at them. Dominique states they never come near the road, but suddenly large numbers appear, practically surrounding them, then attack the two. Lydia and Dominique try to defend themselves but are overwhelmed and start running south. They are saved when gunfire kills some mirelurks and scare the others away. The men that fired the shots come out, but attack the two women, using dart guns to knock them out.
- Benjamin is working on a boat just outside a metro exit, when Sam emerges. Sam questions why Benjamin tried helping the mutants, with Benjamin simply stating "I'm a doctor." Benjamin reveals he believes Mercer Island has something to do with all of this and asks if Sam would help him. Sam agrees and the two get in and head towards the nearby island. Sam notices Benjamin's odd weapon and asks about it. Benjamin is vague, but believes it will be key to solving Seattle's problems.
- Lancer arrives at Benjamin's lab. Seeing Benjamin's holotape recorder, Lancer hits play as he starts searching through documents. The tape is of Benjamin as he explains that there are actually two strains of the plague. After searching much of the city's water supply, Benjamin found that the first strain is airborne. The more recent strain, however, is waterborne, infecting the people of the underground through Lake Washington. After more searching, he is positive the waterborne strain is coming from Mercer Island.
- Lancer finds a holotape talking about Lancer's break-in at HELIOS One and plays it. Reveals that the items he stole were actually a cover so no one would notice the access codes he stole. He has used the codes and the blueprints he's copied earlier to make a copy of a pre-war weapon. Lancer searches more frantically until he finds the blueprints mentioned. They show a pistol-like weapon -- similar to the one Benjamin has -- and are labeled "AII - Euclid." Lancer curses and runs out, planning to intercept Benjamin before he can activate the weapon.
- Benjamin and Sam find a large building with men moving about it, offloading materials from boats. Despite Sam's help, Benjamin wishes for Sam to stay there while he goes inside alone. Sam protests but Benjamin insists till Sam finally agrees to not going in. Benjamin successfully enters through the second floor and overhears two of the men talking, revealing the men are from the NCR. Benjamin isn't completely surprised, and reveals his plan involves alerting the Mojave of this.
- Benjamin turns on his weapon and prepares to fire it, but is stopped when he sees men arriving with Lydia and Dominique in tow. Benjamin knows who Lydia is and stumbles a bit, revealing his location to the men and alerting the entire building. Hearing this, Sam defies her promise and runs in. Benjamin turns off his weapon and runs to help Lydia but instead runs into Sam. This proves little help as the men fire dart guns at them, knocking the two of them out.
- The four of them wake up and meet two Veteran Rangers, the Ranger Officer and Rickter. Despite Sam and Dominique's confusion, Lydia and Benjamin are more focused on each other and start arguing. Ranger Officer shuts them up, reveals he thinks the four of them are MFR spies. Rickter confirms the two of them and other Rangers are here under orders from Chief Sarrano. Benjamin is able to explain things to the others: the NCR desperately needed to annex Seattle, but they refused, so the NCR used the plague to create a crisis, forcing Seattle to ask for outside help. This backfired, however, when Seattle asked the MFR for help instead, requiring them to improvise.
- Benjamin stops, however, and questions the point of poisoning Lake Washington, as only those in the underground drink from it. Sam is actually able to explain this, mentioning the riots against the MFR, and that another outbreak affecting the one area that was considered safe would only make it worse and force the MFR out of the city. Rickter laughs and confirms all of this, but is stopped by Dominique. Dominique shows her unstable side, as she becomes enraged over the death of her family and charges at Rickter. This prompts Rickter to pull out a pistol and shoot her in the head.
- Ranger Officer is annoyed with all of them, telling a nearby man to dispose of Dominique's body then the other three quietly. Ranger Officer and Rickter leave, needing to take a boat to an unknown place. Sam exploits the opportunity, breaking free from her restraints and quietly taking out the two guards. With the three of them free, they are able to escape quietly, seeing the two Rangers getting away. Just as they think they're safe, Sam is attacked by plasma weapons.
- Lancer appears nearby, demanding Lydia and Benjamin to surrender. The two run in a nearby destroyed house and go upstairs. Lancer quickly catches up and holds them hostage. Benjamin points his weapon at Lancer, demanding he let her go. Lancer calls his bluff. Reveals that Lydia and Benjamin are in fact husband and wife and Benjamin wouldn't kill her like that. He is interrupted when Sam emerges and attacks Lancer, grabbing him and throwing him back at the building the three of them escaped from.
- Sam collapses, revealing her plasma injuries are severe. Lydia demands why Benjamin is doing all of this. Benjamin explains by telling her about how dangerous pre-war weapons are. The NCR is using one, the New Plague, to cause all of this, and the MFR even has one, a solar power plant -- HELIOS One -- that launches a superweapon powered by the sun. Benjamin states he needed the MFR to find out about the plague, but no one would listen to him. He needed to do something drastic, something the MFR could not ignore. Benjamin pulls out his weapon, calling it a c-finder and fires it at the NCR's building.
- BoS Scribe is working at machines in HELIOS One when several computers turn on and activate ARCHIMEDES II. Shows Lancer getting back up, annoyed but uninjured. Two Rangers approach him -- not taking him seriously -- and he shoots them in the legs. He notices their NCR flags but is distracted when he sees ARCHIMEDES' targeting lasers. Jumps into the water below just as the beam comes down and destroys most of the building. Lydia is more than a bit shocked by the sight. Nearby, Ethan sees the laser and heads in their direction.
- Lydia and Benjamin are carrying the injured Sam to a nearby shelter, arguing as they do. After putting Sam down so Benjamin can heal her, Lydia suddenly collapses. Inspecting her, Benjamin finds green sores on her side, meaning she's infected with the plague. Meanwhile, Ethan arrives at the Mercer Island building, which is oddly quiet until Ethan hears a noise. Investigating, he finds Dominique, still alive. Ethan sees multiple boats from the city's Emerald Guard approaching, he carries Dominique away without them noticing. The Guard finds Lancer who demands to use their radio.
- Back at Big MT, General Howl has been informed that Benjamin has hacked into ARCHIMEDES and the NCR appear to be the culprits of the plague all along. Howl orders the codes for the weapon to be changed immediately and for three more divisions of the Motorized Infantry to be sent to Seattle. He also notes that the Brotherhood will most likely want to come along as well.
- At Shady Sands, an emergency Senate hearing has been called. The Senators have been informed that the MFR's ARCHIMEDES was used to kill multiple NCR Rangers. Some see this has an act of war, but others, like Hanlon, question why the Rangers were in Seattle to begin with. The Senate seems to be deadlocked until news arrives that the MFR has sent reinforcements to Seattle. The Hub Senator gives a speech swaying some of the Senators. The vote is passed, the NCR will now forcibly annex Seattle and declare war on MFR if they interfere. Hanlon seems more than frustrated.
- Ranger Officer is visibly upset, he didn't want this to escalate to a full out war. Reveals he has disliked the plague from the beginning and reveals Unknown Man is listening to him. Reveals Unknown Man is the one that supplied the NCR with the Seattle Plague, but also reveals that he has wanted this war from the beginning. Ranger Officer realizes he's been tricked and attacks him but gets shot. Rickter walks in, but betrays Ranger Officer and shoots him in the head, killing him.
- Rickter and Unknown Man walk out of the room to find City Councilor and Riot Leader waiting for them. City Councilor had the MFR called to protect the city to create the tension leading to this event, while Riot Leader caused much of the anarchy in the city to distract them from the truth. With the corrupted NCR Rangers, angry over the NCR simply giving up the Mojave, helping and dozens of his own men, Unknown Man's secret plans will soon be able to start.
- Following morning, news stations from both nations are reporting on what appears to be an all out war. President Marcus of the MFR states any attack on Seattle by the NCR will be considered an act of war. Reveals multiple locations as borders are secured and troops are readied.
- Various dream-like scenes shown, of a female in a prison break, then in a Vault then travelling with a group of raiders north. Sam awakes frantically, revealing the scenes are some of her memories returning. Benjamin is sitting nearby, and comments how there's something different about Sam's mutation compared to the others in the city. When Sam relates what she saw, Benjamin is able to reveal what they mean. Sam was an NCR prisoner, she was part of a prison break and became a powder ganger. She was specifically part of a group that joined the Great Khans as they left the Mojave and headed north than east to Wyoming, explaining in part Sam's obsession with going north earlier.
- Lydia moans in her sleep, Benjamin states she over exhausted herself, the plague is weakening her. When Sam questions what happened between the two of them, Benjamin explains how they first met, how she changed her ways for him, and how she became a Followers guard to be with him. When he was kicked out of the Followers, she began tracking him and somehow caught up to him as he was fleeing from HELIOS One. When a Brotherhood Knight tried to capture him, Lydia attacked and killed the Knight, which is why she's now wanted.
- Lydia awakens, apparently listening to them for some time, and questions a part of the story: Why Benjamin ran away from her at HELIOS One. Sam questions the same thing, remembering that Benjamin ordered her to wait outside the NCR building. Benjamin finally reveals the final part of the plan... his death. He was going to aim the ARCHIMEDES at himself, that way when the MFR came looking for him, they would spend years looking for a pile of ash. That way he could assure they would find out the truth. Lydia jumps up and hits him, calling him an idiot and shows actual emotion for the first time.
- Later, Dominique awakens to find Ethan sitting nearby. He questions her and she reveals to him everything about Sarrano sending the Rangers to spread the plague. Ethan gets up and prepares to leave, but first questions her about the bullet. Reveals that Dominique removed the bullet in her head by herself before he showed up, which shouldn't be humanly possible. Dominique has brief flashback of herself as a Legion slave, but remains silent. She then begins coughing uncontrollably, her plague is entering its final stages. Ethan leaves to find Mutant Leader watching them. Mutant Leader questions who did this to her, to which Ethan responds "Same people that drove you into exile." Ethan goes to find a radio, Mutant Leader seems angered.
- Several trucks arrive as the Sun sets. Trucks offload several MFR soldiers, a squad of Brotherhood Paladins and a small number of robo-scorpions. Mojave Commander exits and talks with Lancer, confirming that eyebots spotted an army of NCR soldiers is heading north to their location. The man in charge of the Paladins, Paladin Ramos, demands to go with Lancer to find Benjamin. Lancer is able to convince him not to -- needing them to help defend the city -- and he's positive Benjamin is coming back to the city and Lancer will be able to capture him and Lydia.
- Benjamin, Lydia and Sam come to a conclusion. Lydia being infected is a terrible thing. However, if she was infected so easily, the NCR must have some type of counter for the plague to prevent their own men from being infected. Benjamin starts rambling a bit prompting Lydia to comment about hot air. Sam -- remembering something she heard in the underground -- comes to a realization. The airborne strain of the plague is being spread through the Seattle Steam Company, which heats the people living Downtown. Agreeing it's worth the risk to check out, the three set out, back to Seattle.
- Near morning, the three run through the Underground before exiting into Western Downtown. The city is quiet due to the time and the Emerald Guard preparing for the NCR. They arrive near Seattle Steam and -- while not recognizing the men -- recognize the barrels they are moving around in the partially ruined building. Wondering whether to alert the Emerald Guard or charge in there, they are interrupted by two of the corrupt NCR Rangers. A fight breaks out between them.
- At the border of Downtown, the New California Republic arrives, led by General Oliver. Oliver orders his men to ready themselves, but waits for updated orders from Shady Sands. He wishes for one last confirmation before starting another war. Reveals Rickter and another corrupt Ranger in a nearby skyscraper, aiming sniper rifles at both sides of the conflict.
- Still fighting, Lydia is able to kill one of the Rangers while the other runs away. Benjamin -- lacking some common sense -- charges after him. Lydia yells at him to stop but is too late as he runs into a room full of men, including Riot Leader. Benjamin pulls out his fake c-finder and threatens using it. Riot Leader, knowing about it, questions if it will even work, but Benjamin counters that even if it doesn't, their coordinates will be uploaded to the MFR and a platoon of soldiers will be knocking down the door within the hour.
- Lydia is unsure what to do, attacking will get Benjamin killed. Sam whispers to her, nodding towards the machines that are being used to pump the plague into the city's pipes. Riot Leader, noticing Sam's nodding, points out the irony of their actions. Benjamin called the MFR to try to stop their plans, but using the ARCHIMEDES has done nothing but help them start this war. Benjamin is mortified, never thinking that the NCR may be the ones being manipulated here. They're interrupted by the sound of someone yelling. Looking out, two of the corrupt Rangers recognize Ethan yelling if anyone's around. The Rangers state they'll take care of him.
- Rickter is aiming his rifle at Oliver's head. The other Ranger confirms he has a shot at the Mojave Commander. The two of them fire their shots. Mojave Commander is saved by a passing eyebot taking the shot for him. General Oliver, however, is shot in the head and killed. Colonel Moore is angered and orders the NCR to attack. The soldiers charge and the MFR opens fire. The war has begun. The eyebot that was shot gets back up, calculates the source of the shot and heads towards it.
- The two Rangers approach Ethan. They all know each other, but none of them want to say why they're there. Ethan notes how he was investigating their nearby boat when he heard a gunshot. The Rangers pull out their guns and point them at Ethan, stating he shouldn't walk around like this alone. Ethan snorts a bit, asking why they think he's alone. Shimmers appear as multiple nightkin deactivate their Stealth Boys, surrounding them. More super mutants appear from down the street, pulling out various weapons.
- Riot Leader and some of his men are distracted by the sounds of gunfire and screaming from outside. Lydia takes the chance, throwing a knife at Riot Leader's throat. Benjamin and Sam also proceed to attack. Still outnumbered, they run to the nearby room, but overhear a Ranger ordering the machinery to be taken out, destroying any evidence and releasing one last wave of the plague. Sam realizes she has to stop them. Remembering powder gangers have an affinity for explosives, Benjamin yells at her to create an explosion to kill the plague before they get free. Sam runs to circle around to the machinery as Benjamin and Lydia run upstairs, hoping to get sight of the possible antidote and get a height advantage over their enemy.
- Lancer is in the middle of Downtown listening to his wrist-mounted computer -- similar to a Pip-Boy but not quite -- as details pour in of the battle. NCR losses are higher than the MFR's, but the NCR has greater numbers. Lancer seems sad over the development and chaos when he hears gunfire from a different source. Already knowing they must be involved, Lancer heads out to catch Lydia and Benjamin.
- Lydia grabs a Ranger's dart gun and starts firing at enemies as Benjamin -- over-eagerly -- searches for an antidote. The super mutants outside break into the building, easily overwhelming the men. Sam kills the man trying to rig the machines and begins instinctively pressing buttons and breaking parts. Whether by instinct or coincidence, this begins a massive pressure increase that starts to overload the machines. Ethan arrives in the building, questioning why none of the Emerald Guard seems aware of this.
- Lydia tries to stop Benjamin, yelling they can find the cure after the battle is over. Benjamin is determined though to save Lydia. They are stopped by the sudden appearance of Lancer, who points guns and orders both of them to come with him or he'll kill them. Things get more complicated when Ethan walks up the steps, questioning what's going on. Benjamin reveals to the two of them that this entire war is a set up and needs to be stopped before its too late. His speech seems to affect Lancer and Benjamin gives him the C-Finder as a peace offering. Lancer questions Ethan if a cease fire is possible, with Ethan giving a very cryptic yes. Lancer gives the two a warning and runs away, needing to convince the Mojave Commander to cease fire.
- At Shady Sands, Hanlon, four Veteran Rangers and multiple military police walk down a hallway. Sarrano, the Hub Senator and other men have a toast, believing despite the detours, the plan to annex Seattle with the plague will work. The toast is interrupted when the Veteran Rangers force open the door, pointing guns as the MPs come in with handcuffs. The men yell at them, Sarrano ordering the Rangers to stand down, but no one listens as Hanlon lists the charges against them. At the battlefield, Moore gets contact from General Hsu, ordering a cease fire. Moore complies, but notes her group of NCR Rangers have already infiltrated the city.
- Lancer arrives and orders a cease fire. Mojave Commander states his men will continue to fire for as long as the NCR attacks. The two of them step into the open, where Rickter and his partner prepare to try to shoot the both of them. They are stopped when eyebot appears behind them, attacking but failing to hit them. Rickter turns and shoots the eyebot, but it's able to send a picture of them before exploding. Mojave Commander receives the image and Lancer -- seeing the image then the explosion -- grabs a laser rifle and fires several shots, injuring Rickter and killing his partner. Rickter is able to get a shot off, hitting Lancer's shoulder. Mojave Commander catches Lancer, who continues to insist they stop this. Ramos comes forward, revealing the NCR has indeed stopped charging and are now waving a white flag. Mojave Commander orders all men to cease fire immediately.
- The Seattle Steam fight is still on-going. Benjamin notices several containers and believes them to be the antidote. He's stopped when the machinery finally gives, exploding and causing the entire building to begin collapsing. Everyone begins fleeing except for Benjamin who runs to get the antidote and Lydia who tries to stop him. When dust settles, Benjamin and Lydia find themselves alright and opens a box to find several vials of the antidote. Picking up two of the boxes and walking towards the destroyed entrance, where they are greeted by more NCR Rangers.
- The Rangers approach but reveal they're actually the Rangers that arrived with Moore, as Ethan appears and orders the Rangers to help them with the antidote. Around the corner, the super mutants are seen tying up the last of the antagonists. Ethan secretly pulls out two vials of the antidote from the boxes. Handing one of them to Benjamin, he suggests getting out of here before the Brotherhood and Lancer arrives. Seeing Sam with the rest of the super mutants, Benjamin agrees and thanks him before the two depart.
- Hear various radio broadcasts confirming the war has been avoided. Talking about multiple conspirators involved with the Seattle plague have been arrested. Reveals City Councilor being approached by Emerald Guard, who would like to question him. Men carry the antidote to a Followers outpost where they begin curing the critically ill and send some to Big MT to look at. Senator Hanlon gives a speech, voting in a bill that the NCR will leave Seattle independent. Ethan approaches Dominique, revealing she reminds him of his only living relative. He administers the antidote he stole, which has almost immediate effects.
- Benjamin and Lydia try to heal each others' wounds a bit as they talk. They're interrupted by Lancer, who comments that Benjamin needs to hide his Pip-Boy's radio signal. Lancer admits he dislikes the idea of arresting them after everything, but he has no choice. Lydia proposes another option. Without the blueprints, Benjamin couldn't construct another c-finder even if he wanted to, making him useless. She states she will go willingly if Lancer leaves Benjamin alone. Lancer agrees after a second, but Benjamin refuses to let her take the fall for him. She responds with a -- somewhat -- loving statement, before shooting Benjamin with her dart gun, knocking him unconscious.
- Lydia is taken in by Lancer and they meet up with the Brotherhood of Steel Paladins and proceed to board a truck heading for Big MT. Ethan talks with Dominique, revealing that Rickter and the Unknown Man escaped and he plans on catching them. Dominique asks to go with him. Wanting not just revenge but hoping to become stronger like him. Sam is seen leaving Seattle, planning to find her way to Wyoming to find her past. Benjamin wakes up some time later, refuses to let Lydia suffer for his stake, and plans to break her out, even if it means tearing down Big MT.
- During final credits, get one extra scene. A meeting between the NCR and MFR about the incident. Reveals that all suspects captured have been found dead in prison, apparent suicide. For this reason, the NCR has little information to give to the Mojave about what happened. Reveals Boone as he pulls out a file marked with NCR labels and Top Secret stamps. Scene ends with him asking: "Who is Dr. Presper?"
This is my Movie Treatment challenge entry.
I am SaintPain→ Hope you enjoy reading this.
|The following is based on the Wild Wasteland trait and has not been confirmed by canon sources.|
|The following is based on the canceled Fallout movie and has not been confirmed by canon sources.|
|The following is the original document or a transcript thereof.|
A young blond man, let's call him, Walker, sits alone in a vault tech cinema, moving his lips along with every line of what is clearly a pre-war movie he has already watched countless times. An attractive Asian woman enters in a huff, stops the projector and disapprovingly demands "Really, even today? Only you would spend your last day in the safety of the vault watching this old Jap-Ainu cinema crap." Still munching pop corn and looking at the screen as if the movie was running, Walker wryly replies, "That's very white of you Lucy. Need I remind ya' you are Ainu Japanese?.." In a gesture of mock defiance Lucy plants her fists on her hips and counters with, "Not me Ke-mo sah-bee. That was my DNA donor. Booth my parents are black as night where the moon don't shine." Walker snickers at her rudeness and nearly chokes on his snack.
They exchange more general to intimate details of the vault they live in and the meaning of this day.
- Today is Walker's 21st birthday, tomorrow he must either choose to leave vault A2 and it's surrounding fortifications for no less than a full year or stay to be irreversibly, surgically, sterilized to control the population. Lucy tries to convince Walker to stay with promises of eternal, non committed playful sex, at least until he gets old and fat. Then she further playfully promises to smother him with a pillow and go find a younger man to keep up with her.
- Walker's counter to Lucy's debate is that it has nothing to do with any misguided need to breed or even parent a child with DNA from a donor that has been dead for more than 200 years but rather everything to do with personal choice and a desire to just see what's out there. Walker dreams of adventure he can only imagines from the movies he so loves.
- Lucy manages to drag Walker away from his movie and down the hall into a not so surprising, surprise birthday party where he is welcomed by a beautiful, elderly woman with striking features that suggest, perhaps, a pure Egyptian lineage..
- Through dialog and background actor casting choices it becomes clear that this vault is an Ark of pre war human genetics in it's purest conceivable form.
Walker nods politely as this Overseer clasps his hand in her's and recites her position's dictated speech that is carefully worded to avoid references to "Sacrifice" or "Population control". She draws attention to his Pipboy and dutifully reminds Walker to remember his survival training. Then the Overseer and all gathered offer birthday well wishes, congratulations and presents that are obviously meant to serve Walker in his wasteland ordeal.
- He is given buckskin clothing, sunglasses, a repeating riffle, some ammo and other glossed over items that as a whole might serve him as a survivalist bug out kit and allow him to better blend in with the natives and supposed savages beyond the vaults fortifications.
In the following Scene Lucy takes Walker to her bed in a made for TV style that leaves only a wee bit to the imagination. Afterwards they lay in each others arms basking in the mutual satisfaction of their lusts but some where in the night Lucy rolls over and steals the covers, one more time. Walker just wryly smiles at the camera and rolls out of her bed to return to his movie where it left off..
- Back in the Vault cinema Walker's favorite grainy black and white film plays out it's climatic confrontation. A Ronin Samurai, a Japanese bounty hunter and a bandit slowly back away form each other preparing for a dramatic three way showdown in an ancient temple setting. They eye each other as the music reaches to crescendo..
- The movie zooms in as the projected image appears to shutter and burst into flames, pealing back the film negatives to reveal a familiar black and white, slightly sepia toned slide show montage with a dramatic actor voice over.
War. War never changes.
Since the dawn of human kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing power of rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything: from God to justice to simple, psychopathic rage.
In the year 2077, after a millennium of armed conflict, the destructive nature of man could sustain itself no longer. The world was plunged into an abyss of nuclear fire and radiation.
Yet it was not, as some had predicted. The end of the world... Instead, the apocalypse was simply the prologue to another bloody chapter of human history. Man had succeeded in destroying the world they knew - but war, war never changes.
In the early days, thousands were spared the horrors of the holocaust by taking refuge in enormous underground shelters, known as vaults. But when they emerged, they had only the hell of the wastes to greet them.
Now, nearly two and one quarter centuries since the Great War brought the world to it's knees. These are but a few moments in the lives of some who walk in that lingering FALLOUT.
Please Stand By ~ The Adventure begins
The camera effect tumbles, returning to color as it passes through the vault's walls high into the early mourning sky and then drops like a falling star to another waist land location.
- There a dark human silhouette is shown against a lonely roadside inn. The camera zooms in ultra close to fill the screen with the sinister, searching eyes of a man we'll call Stalker.
- Seeing Stalker framed in the doorway causes the Inn keeper to spill a spoon of mush before it could reach his mouth. With a frighten glance and an insistent wave of his hand the Inn keeper shoos his wife to take their baby to the supposed safety upstairs.
- Dialog reveals Stalker's displeasure with the Inn keeper's, prior paid for informant skills...
- Prompted by a thoroughly murderous beating, the Inn keeper tells of another rumor, this one relating to a missing stash of ancient silver coins that was recently liberated from the ruins of an old world museum by one of the two rival Enclaves that are currently locked in a bloody dispute over authority and divine right to rule a United States of America.
- It seems an Enclave NCO, a Sergeant Peniteo and his band of thieving deserters made off with the treasure mid transport.
- The Audience hears one more heavy thud, a pause, then a woman's scream cut short by a gun shot followed by jingling spurs and dramatic music as Stalker coldly walks out of the now burning building while the sound of an infant's crying echoes behind him.
Walker, now dressed in buckskins packs away his vault suit, loads his riffle and heads to the vault entrance to say his farewells.
- The vault door rolls closed behind him and he walks out of the cavern to stand above a wild waist land vista with the sunrise cresting behind him.
Walker's story portrays the passing of time with a montage of beast encounters, viscous dogs, giant ants and rad scorpions ect, intermittent with scenes of him crouching in dark caves at the brink of survival, scavenging the waists for edible roots, eating bugs and spending lonely nights perched in the highest branches of gnarled old trees.
Tracking through the woods Walker encounters a violent scene. Three angry men wrestle to pin an enraged young woman to the ground, she kicks, screams and curses at them with with the most creative use of profanity imaginable as their leader raises an ax poised to chop off her hand.
- Walker quickly supports his rifle in the crook of a tree, takes careful aim and shoots the weapon's handle out of the ax man's hand followed by three rapid shots that clip the hats off the other men's heads.
- The leader draws a sawed of double barrel shotgun from his belt and charges, forcing walker to drop him with a clean shot through the heart. The other three men flee in terror as the young woman we'll call Talker pelts them with rocks, tree branches and a flood of creatively worded filthy curses.
After Talker liberates her effects, and more than a few caps from the dead man's body. She offer's Walker the leader's hat along with some not to cleverly veiled complements in a effort to recruit his marksmanship to her long term survival.
- Talker goes on to claim her self to be an innocent, victimized by wasteland hooligans.
- Dialog further suggests Walker's many months out of the vault have served him well but as Talker is a native, they should booth recognize they might have allot to offer one another.
This clip ends as Walker raises a questioning eyebrow at a near by wanted poster with Talker's sketch, some personal details and the promise of a reward for her capture...
A town's Magistrate reads a lengthy list of charges against Talker that add up to many, many, many petty crimes and exposed con games. The Magistrate calls for Talker to be hanged by the neck until dead, dead, DEAD! Yet just as the hangman's trap door is let loose a single shot rings out and a bullet severs Talker's noose.
- Talker drops to the ground below the gallows and scrambles loose just as rigged explosions from loosely packed black powder barrels caped with random rubbish send smoke, ash and garbage to spill into the streets, falling upon the crowd and causing more confusion than any real harm.
- Talker's partnership with Walker clearly now has Walker turning in Talker, collecting the bounty and then stealthily returning to aid in Talkers escape so the two could split the reward and hit the next town to do it all again.
- Their relationship is related over further months as a series of small exploits that show them working at their skills, prospecting, gambling, bar room brawling and again and again Talker incurring new bounties as Walker pulls off ever more daring, narrow escapes.
As time marches on Talker's exploits become increasingly extreme and the risk soon grows beyond the financial rewards.
- Walker eventually turns Talker in one more time, collects the bounty but then, through Talker's jail cell bars, he tells Talker that he knows she has been stealing from him all along when she thought he was sleeping and that he honestly doubts Talker would ever be worth more than the current bounty.
- Walker then thanks Talker for the fine hat and exits to the sound of Talker's gag muffled curses of rage and vows of vengeance.
Dawn breaks over a scene eerily similar to Walker and Talkers first encounter. Only in this case the man with the ax means to lop off her head.
- As the town square's clock strikes six an explosion frightens a herd of bighorners to stampede into the small band of blood thirsty onlookers that had gathered at this early hour to enjoy Talker's gory death.
- The sound of a train whistle is nearly lost in the noise of fearful shouts but it draws the movie audience to a balcony above the town's saloon where Walker wryly winks at his mischief from behind a railway rifle.
- Slow motion follows the railroad spike as it flies to pierce the executioner's wrist through his lifted ax handle, pining him to the community notice board with all the current wasteland criminal wanted posters.
The scene shifts to rocky bits of wasteland gravel tumbling down a mountain pass under Walker and Talker's boots as they make yet another bold escape.
Walker's dialog has him taking credit with a small bow as he tells Talker, in essence, after all they have been through together, he figured he owed her that last rescue but come morning that's it. He would be moving on, alone..
- Talker thanks Walker for his consideration in her own fashion.. A left handed strike of her sawed off shot gun's butt to his temple and her nearly lethal right knee to his groin followed by repeated steel toe boot strikes to his ribs, kidneys and the back of his head.
Talker planed to abandon Walker in a nearby chemically charged death pool of toxic wastes so thickly polluted it has created a lasting fog.
- Fate had other plans. Before she could drag Walker into the toxic marsh, the noxious cloud parts and a pair of brahmin stagger out pulling a wagon full of Enclave soldiers from the west that are all dying or already in various states of decomposition.
- The brahmin collapse on the spot in a wheezing pile of gore, spilling the wagon to bury Walker and Talker in a pile of the dead and dying men.
Peniteo, the sergeant with knowledge of the gold, that Stalker has been seeking just happens to be among this wagon load of damned souls.
- Dying of toxic exposure and thirst, Peniteo grips Talker's wrist from within the pile of corpses and begs her for water.
- Talker is only persuaded to help when Peniteo tells her of the gold.
- On the verge of death Peniteo whispers in Talker's ear the name of the Metro station where the treasure is stashed and promises to tell her more in exchange for water.
- Talker scrambles back to where she left her pack and returns with the water only to find Peniteo is already dead.
- Now it is Walker who asks for the water. Talker spits in his face but Walker just smiles, through dry cracked lips and whispers.. "He told me.. Told me the locker number..."
Talker now knows if she hopes to find the treasure she will need to keep Walker alive.
Dressed in the uniforms of the dead soldiers, Talker takes Walker, now near death, to a local Followers of the Apocalypse outpost where her sister works as a medic.
- As Walker recovers, Talker and her sister (Pinga Talker) confront each other about the directions their lives have taken since the peaceful days of their early tribal childhood and their violent tween years among the raiders..
- They admit to each other they booth have done things they regret but unlike her sister, Talker has yet to make peace with any God...
Daily Talker comes to Walker with soup to eat and a cool cloth to sooth his brow. At first she dose this speaking to Walker of forgiveness. Assuring him his soul would be lighter if he was generous in his last moments..
- Walker neither speaks of what he know or refuses her manipulative attention and when he grows stronger day by day by day. Talker still comes to him but now she insisting that he has to live, that theirs is a partnership special enough to overcome such past misunderstandings and she always knew he was destined for greatness.
In time Walker dose recover but shortly after leaving the Followers outpost Walker and Talker, still dressed as west Enclave foot soldiers are by odd chance captured by eastern Enclave forces and herded into a bleak internment camp.
With altered papers and stolen uniforms Stalker has tracked and murdered his way in the direction sergeant Peniteo's was last known spotted.
Hoping Peniteo might turn up among the captured Stalker has skillfully managed to pass himself off as an eastern Enclave Junior officer a position that allows him to log in captured prisoners and question them at his discretion.
- Stalker's dialog suggest it was simple chance that brought them all together. A day or two more and Stalker would have moved on but there something about this new batch of captives that stuck out like two sore thumbs.
- One was to clean and quiet while the other was to loud and foul mouthed..
- Stalker paused his abrupt departure just long enough to interrogate the odd couple.
- Stalker soon identifies Talker as a wanted fugitive and he suspects some of the effects found on Talker belonged to the sergeant Peniteo he has been looking for. *Stalker tortures, threatens and all but rapes Talker before she finally reveals the name of the metro station where gold is said to be stashed.
- Walker remains stoically cool even after what he'd seen done to Talker. He acts as if he could care less about life or death and even tells Stalker that he knows the locker number but then calmly says no more.
- Stalker admits there is something about Walker that makes him believe he would have to kill Walker and even then he'd most likely not talk. So Stalker suggests a partnership.
- Dialog confirms this base to be a notorious death camp, they could work together, have their freedom and get rich or Talker would be executed for her crimes while Walker would be left to the ravages of starvation and disease in the prison's pit.
Stalker arranges for their transport to another facility that is in the general direction of the metro station they all seek via a restored section of railway that is now under eastern Enclave's control.
Passing high above a narrow strip of river Talker takes her chance to escape Stalker's control. She brutally knees the guard she is shackled to in the groin and throws herself along with the now gasping guard off the train, into the steep valley far below.
- The narrow strip of river turns out to be a swift moving white water rapid lined with many jagged rocks that Talker takes full advantage of by smashing the guards head against them at every opportunity.
- The river winds like a serpent but eventually carries her more or less in the direction she would like to go.
- Dragging the guards body half onto the shore Talker finds a large sharp stone and makes short work of smashing all the bones in his hand, allowing her to slip the shackle off the dead man's wrist.
- A quick search of the guard finds many of Talkers effects but no key. So Talker pushes on despite the annoying weight of the chain on her wrist.
Stalker's dialog indicates her escape is of no consequence. It's far easier to divide the gold by two anyway.
In yet another cinematic plot twist, that same evening raiders have decided to rob the train by rigging the track with explosives.
- There is a spectacular explosion and a dramatic buckling crash as the train is thrown off it's tracks.
- Guns blazing a band of ten or more raiders set upon the wreckage shooting anything that moves.
- Dialog indicates if they wish to survive Walker and Stalker will have to work together.
- Stalker unlocks their chains and gives Walker his riffle commenting "I hope this dose not over strain our partnership." To which Walker replies" Not to worry, we can always kill each other later. Stalker nods agreement and the two exit the boxcar from opposite sides engaging raiders as they slip in and out of the cover provided by the burning train wreckage.
- Several dramatic gun battle scenes later and raiders all seem to have been killed or run off. Stalker also seems to have slipped away in the dark.
- Walker mutters a quiet promise. " Very well, later it is then..."
In the next scene time has clearly passed as it is now day and it would appear Talker has had time to booth change clothes and locate the sparsely populated ruins of a small town.
While scavenging through what looks like an abandoned house Talker finds a small clutch of bobby pins and begins picking at her shackle's lock just a bounty hunter enters the room.
- He may have been tracking her or he just might have spotted her sneaking into town. Either way he holds a gun in one hand and her wanted poster in his other.
- Apparently he means to bring her in more dead than alive.
- Talker strikes out wrapping the chain about his gun, pulling it aside as he fires. She then kicks his shins with her steel toed boot and follows up with a swift knee to the chin as he doubles over.
- With the bounty hunter flat on his back the camera shifts to his perspective with Talker standing over him, she levels her sawed off double barrel shot gun at his head and fires.
Walker's pip-boy map shows this waste land town in the most direct path to the subway station, so when he hears the distinctive sound of a sawed off shot gun he dose not look surprised.
- Stalker, now also dressed in his civilian attire and accompanied by five mercenaries like wise hears the shots.
Walker enters just in time to see Talker's unlocked chains drop on the floor next to the bounty hunter's remains and he makes some off hand comment about her making friends all over.
- Walker peeks through a 2nd story window and spots the hard faced men with guns taking up firing positions along the roof tops.
With a nod Talker and Walker resurrect their partnership and take to the streets.
- Dreading what they suspect will be a shoot out worthy of the O.K. Corral, the few local town folks are quick to rush inside their homes to draw the curtains and hide.
- A few cinematic death scenes later and the mercenaries are done in but yet again Stalker has slipped away.
Moving on, Talker and Walker stumble upon a stand off between the East and West Enclaves that are deadlocked in the fight to control a bridge of questionable strategic value.
- Walker and Talker are soon discovered by eastern Enclave troops and taken to their commander.
Major Fleshmill was clearly once a tall powerfully built man but now he looks, hunched over, thin and aged far beyond his years. More like a wine soaked scare crow than an Enclave officer.
- Dialog indicates he no longer believes in his mission. The stand off has lasted for months. Now it's simple as routine chores. Every day booth sides send good men to die, pause to recover what they can of their dead. Regroup and get ready to do it all again the next day.
- Major Fleshmill even goes so far as to say "I wish someone would just blow the damn thing up so we can get back to warring like less civilized men."
- Not wishing to be responsible for anyone else getting involved, the Major sends Walker and Talker away.
With Stalker some where behind them and the metro station on the other side of the bridge, Walker and Talker decide to destroy the bridge and force the soldiers to take their fight elsewhere.
- That night Walker and Talker sneak back into the camp, liberate some dynamite and a mini nuke, wire the bridge and retreat to watch the fire works from a safe distance.
When the bridge explodes in the best traditions of Hollywood special effects Major Fleshmill's expression is one of quite joy as he hands his wine bottle to the nearest troop and walks back in his tent.
In the safety of an abandoned house Talker snuggles up close to Walker and through seductive dialog suggests that they are truly partners now and she coxes him into saying that the locker number they seek is 666.
- Talker thanks Walker for his trust and rolls on top of him in an intimate embrace.
- The camera pans out the window to show the fires of the now collapsed bridge have already begun to die.
The next day Walker dose not look surprised to find the Enclaves tents were all broken down in the night and he now walks alone among the smoking fire pits and abandoned sandbag walls.
Meanwhile across the river in a huge metro terminal. Dramatic music increases in tempo and volume as Talker frantically searches among row upon row of circling subway lockers, she runs around and around and around, faster and faster as the camera pans out revealing even more rows.
- Eventually Talker dose find locker 666, but just as she begins picking the lock she is held at gunpoint by Walker, who is after a moment, in turn likewise held at gunpoint by Stalker.
Opening the locker reveals no doubloons. It is instead the tightly compressed grave of a man who long ago met a violent end.
- The now desiccated remains appears to be of a man in a pre-war business suit who's lips were sown shut and then shot in the head before being crammed in the locker to rot.
Stalker, Talker and Walker are all momentarily taken off guard by the unexpected discovery.
- Shaking off the confusion, they draw down on each other. No one at this range could miss.
- Dialog confirms, not even Walker suspected there would be an ancient mummified gangster's body jammed in that locker. Clearly it was not what any of them expected.
- Walker directs them into a round open space in the middle of the huge metro terminal. He tells Stalker and Talker that he is etching the real number for the gold stash locker on the bottom of an empty Nuka-Cola bottle which he places in the center and steps back.
It is the classic three-way showdown Walker always dreamed of. The sound track blares and a widening cinematic view shows them all slowly backing away from each other, studying every finger twitch and eye movement.
Stalker draws to quickly for the camera to catch more than a blur.
- A single shot echoes..
- Talker jerks her sawed off shotgun level with Stalker's head and pulls the trigger only to hear the metallic clank of the weapon's hammer falling on a dud round.
Stalker smiles with sparkling eyes at the irony of it all and slowly collapses in a heap at a broken edge of the subway's upper terminal concourse.
- Frantically, Talker turns with an expression of concern for Walker so unprecedented that it seems to frighten even her a bit.
- Walker had shot from the hip, the barrel of his riffle still trails smoke as he stands cold as a statue.
- Talker's face brightens with an unbridled joy, until she notices Walker dose not return her enthusiasm.. Walker's gaze is all hard business...
- Suddenly remembering why she was angry a moment before Talker raises her weapon and fires the second barrel of her shot gun at Walker. The hammer drops upon a likewise dead shell.
- Walker reaches into his pocket, retrieves a handful of black powder and buckshot that he slowly lets sift through his fingers to the floor for Talker to see he had removed the threat of her double barreled shotgun.
Walker then motions with his weapon for her to check the bottle.
- Talker slowly turns it over but only sees her inverted refection in the concave glass bottom of the bottle.
- Furious at what she sees as yet another deception Talker curses Walker's name and raises the bottle to throw at his head but a quick cocking of his riffle causes her to reconsider.
Dialog explains that Walker meant for Talker to notice that her reflection was upside down just like the locker number.. The 666 he gave translates to locker number 999.
Behind them there is the familiar click of a pistol's hammer being pulled back.
- Walker spins about in a crouch and fires just in time to stop Stalker from shooting them booth in the back.
- A convulsion of pain from this second gunshot wound causes Stalker violently arch his back and slowly roll off the broken concourse platform and fall far from sight into the deep darkness below with an echoing splash.
Walker and Talker stand facing each other for a notably long silent moment. Then as if satisfied the drama has passed Walker holsters his riffle with a familiarly wry smile and a few optional lines of dialog.. "That lockers not gonna open itself..."
The camera breaks to close up.
- Talker is seen with pixie like joy working her improvised picks at the lock with a small collection of spare, bent bobby pins held skillfully in her smiling, pouty lips as she cracks the locker's tumblers into place.
Finally, Talker spins about triumphant in the bliss of success, hopping up and down, around and around as the locker door at last spills open with an abundant scattering of ancient, loose Spanish doubloons.
- It takes her a few moments to notice but Walker is not dancing with her as she had anticipated he would..
- A few spins about more and she notices there is a nose hanging from a low hanging support beam.
Walker is not wryly smiling. His is a look cold as death.
- Close up on the riffle muzzle as it points to a dented trash can that wobbles unsteady with it's placement beneath a twisted rope.
- Talker's dark complexion goes near white as she looks in Walker's eyes.
There is no dialog here. They share a silent communication of head shakes and demanding nodes of condemnation that confirms she is intended to balance atop the misshapen trash can and put her neck in the noose above it.
- Walker ties Talker's hands behind her.
Talker's saddlebag sized shoulder case is then violently dumped out in front of her.
- As Walker picks out far to many of his own effects from her pile of junk, clearly he never realized just how much she had stolen from him over the course of their adventures.
Walker dose not speak or even bother to look at her. He just sets to the task he came to do.
- Half the coins from the locker are in broken bags to unwieldy for one person to carry. Those Walker carefully piles around Talker's makeshift gallows. The rest he stuffs into his pack and shambles toward the metro exit alone.
Talker's emotions are allover the place. First she begs and cajoles Walker to free her and the next moment she damns his eyes and those of his children's, children.
- It is only when Talker thinks Walker has gone that she honestly sighs "I'm sorry".
- With that a single riffle shot rings out from the darkness and cuts through half her noose's rope. It's not enough to set her fully loose but enough to give her a chance to, eventually, with some patient effort, free herself.
True to her nature Talker defiantly attempts to shout another, twice over more vile curse at Walker but her sudden need to regain balance and the chocking rope cut it short.
- Coughing and sweating, she tiptoes the can back under her feet as Walker slips away from the wickedness of her tongue, this time...
At the bar of a rather spacious looking log cabin style, rustic chalet.
- Walker sips steaming brandy next to huge fireplace.
- A few colorful leaves brushing against the window pane would suggest it is now late fall.
Lifting his glass Walker complements the inn keeper on booth the spirit and the chalet's warm decor with the suggestion that it might be a fine place to rest until spring. To which the inn keeper confirms that it can be for those who can afford to stay.
- Walker produces a few shiny doubloons as confirmation that he has no worries for the bill.
- The inn keepers disposition is immediately brighter as he eyes Walker and his buckskin outfit up and down in a whole new light.
The inn keeper remarks at the uncommon stamp of the coins to which Walker informs him that they are Spanish doubloons.
- The inn keeper marvels at the gold's beauty but questions in a concerned tone, "Dah Bloons you say.. My I do hope that's not another faction ? We have more than enough what with the Enclave at each other and those northern folks what call them selves Commonwealth polk'n about."
- Walker again sips his brandy and wryly assures the inn keeper that the folks who stamped those coins are long since dead and gone.
Springtime finds Walker back on the sloping hills leading to the mountains and "The Ark" vault A2, that he had left one year ago. With in a day's travel he would be home.
- Walker pauses to take a deep breath and one more lingering look around at the wild wasteland that had fulfilled his dreams of adventure.
- That is when he sees it, an only slightly weathered wanted poster for the quote, Felonious female outlaw known as Talker, unquote.
- Walker takes down the poster and turns it over in his hands as if doubting it to be real. He speaks aloud to himself, "Well I'll be damned!?! That foul mouthed little bitch did it. She increased her bounty after all.. What a world ?"
Walker neatly folds up the poster and places it in the pocket over his heart with care, double checks his repeating riffle is fully loaded and with a wry smile turns back around and walks down the hillside into the Fallout sunset..
End movie.. Roll previews for the series ~;)
Major character directors notes
The names Stalker, Talker and Walker might at first glance appear to be a pointless lazy rhyme but as place holders for the director's final cut they describe the three primary characters by their personality roles.
- Stalker is the predator. Always calculating. Good and Evil are just words with no more meaning to Stalker than they would have to a cat playing with a mouse.
- Talker is duplicitous as speech it's self. Crude yet creative. She is devious but not near as smart as she thinks. Loudest when frightened and most dangerous when cornered.
- Walker is the traveling role player. A walkabout dreaming fool in search of an illusion. Open to most any path, he pushes his luck to peripeteia and when he survives, he only looks back through hazy shades of romanticized adventure.
- Major Fleshmill at the Enclave battle for the bloody river bridge is the embodiment of a good and honorable man's conscious destroying his flesh as deliberately as the outer man follows orders he can not defend.
- Walker: 21 year old male. Born and raised in Vault A2
Walker's mother was genetically Native American northern Shoshone.
Walker's father was genetically Indian Bengali
Walker is genetically northern European
- Talker: Is a female in her mid 20's. Along with her sister (Pinga), she was born and raised as a wasteland tribal until captured by raiders at a young age. It was a harsh childhood but the life of a teenage girl among raiders soon became more than intolerable and so Talker and her sister escaped and found a home with The Followers of the Apocalypse. The followers treated them well and Talker's sister was very happy with them but Talker was to much of a wild child to follow civilizations conventions and so by 16 years old she was on her own living the life of a scavenger, petty thief and general outlaw.
- Stalker: 50ish African American male born and raised in a west coast NCR city. He was a decorated officer with the NCR Rangers but the mojave occupation and some events at Camp Golf left him felling bitter so he resigned his commission and headed east where he quickly became an ever more ruthless bounty hunter.
Notes for Vault A2
- Vault A2 was originally a government DNA preservation project known as "The Ark".
It was bought out by Vault Tech in the final years before the Great War, hence the designation A2 or VA2.
- Vault A2 already had the governments greatest collection of DNA samples from a broad spectrum of donors representing the, supposed, very most gifted and or beautiful specimens in as equally broad a base of human racial diversity, cross referenced multitudes of times by academic, artistic and physical excellence. Vault Tech then recruited as many of the world's leading and or most promising geneticist as they could, in the time the world had, to maintain their treasured genetic integrity.
- Unlike the vault 108 cloning practice of repeatedly reproducing copy after copy of a copy of one DNA sample. Vault A2 allowed natural insemination / fertilization only then would the fertilized human egg have it's DNA removed and replaced with a donor sample from the Ark's library.
- 100 years after the bombs ended the outside world. Vault A2 began to fear over population. The most dogmatic of analytical minds decided in a most deliberate fashion that in order for the body to survive only the most vital branches should have the right to bear fruit.
- The Walkabout had those who wished to be a parent prove their loyalty and fortitude by leaving the vault for no less than 365 days. Those who return my actually have sex for the sake of pro creation. Calling it the Walkabout felt so much more human than words like sacrifice, population control or trial by fire but in the early years it amounted to the same.
- This is the year 2289 the world outside has changed and the inhabitants of VA2 are bread from some remarkable stock. They are now proud of their 51% walkabout survival rate. Most of those who return become fine parents. Still with every experiment there are bound to be setbacks. That is why they have control groups and redundancy control measures...
- The East and West Enclave factions represent two equally matched neighboring states that booth claim the right to rule. Like wise booth have supplemented their equipment from pre war military bases in their states.
- If this pilot movie became a series the Enclaves or even the hinted at Commonwealth from the north might become quite interested in Vault A2 and the genetic purity it holds booth in the Ark library and in it's citizens.
- Any dialog or narration not in Bold should be considered as implied and not quotes.
Written by SaintPain
SaintPain→ That was broke afore I got here." 23:26, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
| ||This page is a part of the Fallout: The Apprentice contest. It should not be confused with in game content.|
Work Title: Project Sugar Bomb
Final Title: A Bloody Sweet Start into the Day
| ||The following is the treatment for a Fallout Telemovie/ the Pilot of the planned TV series "Fallout - The Long Way Back Home"|
- Desert Scene. Tracking shot of a small giant rat being chased by two coyotes. Voice of the narrator (either you guys take Ron Perlman or it will fail) sets in: "War. War never changes." Chased rat runs through a deserted town and the narrator speaks again: "When atomic fire consumed the earth, those who survived did so in great underground vaults. When they opened, their inhabitants set out across the ruins of the old world." A man comes across and one of the coyotes immediately jumps at him and bites through his throat, while the other continues to chase the rat. Narrator speaks once more: "In this hostile wasteland mankind learned to survive...some by following the laws of the old world and even more by giving in to their desires. Yet there are so many new and old things, which could end the life of an individual in an instant." The rat runs towards a big industrial looking building. Jumps at a wall and climbs upwards to escape. Enters the building through a ventilating shaft.
- Coyote howls. Rat runs through the ventilating shafts deeper into the building. Suddenly the ground breaks away under the rat and it falls into a dark room.
- Rat lands in a bowl of cereals. Struggles to get out, until the mechanical arm of a Mister Handy grabs it.
- Perspective change to the view of a man in the room. The man (not being shown, yet the color of the skin of his hands suggests that he is caucasian) and three others are bound to chairs facing a table with a bowl of cereals in front of each of them. Man struggles to get free and his view shakes around wildly. A floating brain bot with the picture of a red atomic bomb drawn on its glass container comes into view and it looks with his two eye monitors at the rat. Says, that rats don't fit to cereals.
- The Mister Handy throws the rat against a wall and it practically explodes.
- Brain bot now directs his attention to the 4 captives on the chairs. Introduces himself as Mr. Winker and speaks to them, like they would be children.
- Suddenly 4 other Mister Handies appear out of the shadows. Each has a syringe attached to an arm. Mr. Winker explains, that he would like the 4 captives to try out his newest creation, namely the cereals in front of them.
- The captive to the right of the man (an afro-american, around 20 years old) yells at Mr Winker, saying that he isn't stupid enough to eat this strange stuff. Mr. Winker lectures him, that because of this his friends are here to motivate them. Suddenly each of the Mister Handies ram a syringe in the shoulder of one of the captives. Explains that the antidote to the poison they just received is in the cereals.
- The Mister Handies cut through the bindings of the 4 captives and they hastily swallow down the cereals. Mr. Winker commends the 4 captives as "Good Childs" and offers them to play a bit with him and his friends.
- Suddenly the captive on the other side of the table (a caucasian woman, maybe around 35 years old) jumps up and runs out of the exit behind her. Darkness gets illuminated by the red light of a laser and the sound of something dropping down following it.
- Mr. Winker states his disappointment, since they should wait for his starting signal before they play Hide & Seek. Explains, that he gives them 10 minutes to prepare, before he and his friends start looking for them. Plays through his speakers the sound of a starting gun.
- The man and the other 2 captives run off through the exits behind each of them.
- Runs through the halls looking for an exit. Bumps into a Protectron after running around a corner and tumbles back. Protectron states, that the game starts in 9 minutes. Runs in the opposite direction.
- Cut scenes of him running through the dark halls, with the sound of his breath and his heartbeat getting louder after each cut.
- Ends up in a huge hall with a lot of machines. Announcement of Mr. Winker through the speakers of the room. Says that the game starts. Hides in the narrow space between one of the machines and the wall.
- His eyes get used to the darkness. Sound of his heartbeat and breath getting fainter, slowly calming down.
- Suddenly Mr. Winker yells in the hall: "Aaaaaaaaaand found one!". Breath and heartbeat getting extremely loud, before a piercing scream sounds up. The remaining captive (an asian woman) seemingly hid herself in the room too and was found. Man looks through a tiny gap, seeing how the woman gets dragged away by 2 Mister Handies into another corner of the hall, screaming the entire time, until the sound of a machine tearing apart flesh replaces this sound. Mr. Winker says in an amused tone, that there are still 2 to go and leaves the hall with his robots.
- Man waits a short while, before leaving his hiding place. Attempts to go to the corner the woman was dragged to, but changes direction, mumbling: "It is better not to know."
- Walks through a hallway, pressed closely to the wall. Tries to open several doors, until he finds one, which isn't locked.
- Enters the room, which is filled with several desks and computers, separated by partitions. Goes to the desk in the right corner of the other side of the room, since its partition made it hard to see it from the entrance.
- Sits down on the chair in front of the desk and tries to calm down. Notices, that the computer is still running and looks through its logs.
- Text of the logs runs over the screen (of the viewer, not of the computer), with the parts of the man he can see himself expressing his current emotions in the background. Logs tell the story of Mr. Winker from the perspective of one of his workers and also showing, that the building he is currently in was the main factory for producing Sugar Bombs. Explains how he starts as a great boss, who treated his workers very good up to the point, where he locked up the workers in the building and used them to satisfy his murderous desires. The computer log ends with the comment of the worker, that he hid a gun in one of his drawers to defend himself and that the key is on the backside of the computer.
- Man gets a laughing fit and quickly takes the key from the backside of the computer. Unlocks the drawer of the desk and finds a laser pistol (an AEP7 model) and some energy cells.
- Suddenly the mechanical arm of a protectron grabs him on his shoulder and turns him around. Man starts to panic and flails around with the laser pistol. Shoots through the head of the Protectron (more accidental, than attempted), which falls to the ground.
- Moves again through the hallways, but not pressed against the wall anymore. Overall light setting seems a bit brighter. Hears steps of a robot and readies his pistol. Tries to fire the gun at the Protectron as soon as it moves around the corner. Gun explodes in his hand and tears it apart. Screams in pain and changes direction, running away from the robot. Heartbeat and breathing get louder again, while the surrounding light fades more and more.
- Arrives in the entrance hall of the factory, seeing the exit. The doors open, light from the outside falls into the entrance hall and the silhouette of a man stands in the gap, since he opened them. Man runs towards him but suddenly stops and the sound of a laser can be heard. Looks down on himself, touches his chest and blood oozes out from it. He turns around and sees a Protectron drawing closer. The head of the robot gets blast off by a gun shot. Turns around again and falls to the ground. Looks upwards, seeing how the man he just saw stands above him. Tries to speak but only coughs up blood.
- Zoom in to the face of the man standing above him. A young handsome caucasian male, not older than 25 years with pitch black hair. He is wearing rimless glasses. Camera moves behind him.
- The man lying on the ground is caucasian, around 45 years old. His hair is grey and he wears a green overall. He is already dead. The man standing above him kneels down and moves his fingers over the right side of his chest, reading from the tab, which was sewn on the overall: "Chad H." Stands up and talks to the corpse: "Well Chad...I am Korvo and...I know it won't change much for you anymore, but I will do it anyway, because I am a nice guy...Each tin can here will get a bullet." Two Mister Handy enter the entrance hall, but get shot before they can react. Full view of Korvo, who has already put away his gun. He is wearing a long black coat, which is torn apart on several spots. On his right arm is a Pip-Boy 3000, with a pitch black outer shell and a crimson red screen. "I shall never speak lies and never break promises...'Cause I am a nice guy." He walks deeper into the building.
- Enters the hall in which Chad was hiding. Turns on the lights with a switch close to the door. The sound of the lights turning on is rather loud. Sees how the arm of a dead female reaches out of a blood spilled machine. The machines original use was like it seemed to process the Sugar Bomb cereals. Korvo comments to this: "Good thing I prefer bacon and apples for breakfast. Good decision to do the job alone. Wouldn't want to see Lizzy puke the next 3 weeks into her cereal bowl after seeing this. I enjoy breakfast after all. And you?" Turns around, since Mr. Winker is hovering behind him. Mr. Winker simply laughs, telling him, that he didn't had a breakfast for more than 2 centuries. Korvo expresses his pity for Mr. Winkers situation and asks casually for a tour around the factory. More than simply interested Mr. Winker agrees.
- Mr. Winker shows Korvo around, telling him the history of Sugar Bombs during the tour. Korvo asks how murderous abductions fit to cereals for kids. Mr. Winker replies, that he is simply in contact with his inner child, which always loved to tear out the limbs of insects. Adds as second question, why he is in possession of such a high tech brain bot body. Mr. Winker is amazed, that he noticed and gives as answer, that he loves children and so also couldn't allow his inner child to die. As a final add to his answer he also states, that it wasn't really cheap to buy it, since the folks in the big cereal bowl were rather greedy and miss the right crunch.
- They arrive at the storage hall, which is filled to the roof with packages of Sugar Bombs, which were ready to be shipped out. They silently walk through the hall, with the packages getting more and more strange, the last ones being dripping wet and red, seemingly being made a few moments ago. Korvo makes a joke, that not all ingredients seem to be written on the package. Mr. Winker laughs and replies, that the department for changing the print on them forgot to do so, before they lost themselves in his great product.
- They reach the other end of the hall. Mr. Winker leads Korvo to several boxes filled with decoder rings. Offers him to take one, describing them as a great source of joy and lamenting, that the workers who were supposed to put them in the packages were "needed" in the production, since human resources became day by day more and more scarce. Korvo takes one and follows Mr. Winker to his office.
- Mr. Winker concludes the tour and asks Korvo if he has any questions left. Korvo declines, but offers Mr. Winker a game, before they get to business. Korvo explains, that it is a simple game and pulls out a marker. Comes closer to Mr. Winker and writes something on his 3 screens. Mr. Winker is confused, but Korvo requests him to look into a mirror. Mr. Winker floats to the closest mirror and reads the 3 written words: "I AM DEAD". The front of his glass tank cracks after a gunshot and Mr. Winkers screens turn off before he falls to the ground, a bullet having pierced the backside of his glass container and brain. Korvo is shown behind him with his gun drawn (a black Desert Eagle Mark XIX with a golden crow ornament on the barrel) and says: "I always write the truth on the package...'Cause I am a nice guy." Kneels down and breaks open one of the metal parts of the dead brain bot. Takes out several parts until he finds the piece of technology he was looking for. Comments on this: "Nice guys always get the best toy out of a package. But it would be unfair to take 2..so you can have this one back." Stands up and throws the decoder ring through the hole in the glass container, watching it float down through the fluid towards the brain of Mr. Winker.
- Goes back until he reaches the storage hall, were seemingly the remaining Mister Handies and Protectrons of the factory all gathered, chanting in a mechanical chorus: "Hostility detected, eliminating humanoid aggressor." Korvo simply replies, that they seem to be nice guys too, since they make his promise to Chad so easy. Draws his gun and his Pip-Boy gleams up. Time seems to flow extremely slow in the style of Bullet Time and he starts to shoot the robots, which seem to be frozen in time. As soon as time flows normal again all robots fall to the ground and Korvo puts away his gun, before staggering a bit and reaching out to his head with his left hand, mumbling to himself: "I hate using this...but nice guys have no right to complain about headache"
- Arrives at the entrance hall, calling out to Chad: "I filled the tin cans Chad...Chad?" Notices that Chads corpse is gone. He comments this situation as strange, but not as strange as this entire place, seemingly not caring too much about it. Goes towards the exit, quietly singing: "The crow doesn't cares about the origin of the flesh, the crow doesn't cares about the guard of the corn, so why should I care~".
- A woman in a tank top and more than two times patched worker pants is waiting in front of the building leaned against an old car. Instead of greeting him, her first question to Korvo is, if he got his hands on the part she was looking for. Korvo draws it out of his pocket, while greeting her and calling her Lizzy. She starts nagging, criticizing that he handled such a delicate and rare piece of technology so carelessly. Korvo tries to say something, but Lizzy cuts him off, saying: "I know, I know, I know...Nice guys are simple guys. And you are so nice, that even your mind became extremely simple". Instead of feeling insulted, Korvo simply laughs it off, lying down on the back-seat of the car, replying: "And my overly simple mind is neither meant for driving, nor for working too long, so carry me home Mrs. Chariot." and humming the tunes of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot". Muttering several curses and taking place on the drivers seat, Lizzy starts the motor of the car, which seems to be barely functional. They drive off towards the east with Korvos humming getting more and more faint.
- The doors of the factory close and the silence returns to its interior. A fast backwards camera ride towards the storage hall. Zoom in on a hole, which was crudely dug into the ground. Suddenly the arm of an afro-american male (presumably the remaining captive) thrusts out of the hole, followed by a scream. The man gets dragged down by something into the darkness until the screams fade out. Wide view of the storage hall. The ending theme plays. Music stops abruptly, as several arms with dark scaly skin and claws burst through the tiles of the ground.
- Mr. Winker is a reference to Willy Wonka from the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, since both of them produce a food for children and are in deep contact with their inner child.
- This way Mr. Winkers robots are his Oompa Loompas.
- The "big cereal bowl" Mr. Winker is talking about is the Big MT.
- Korvo is esperanto for crow.
- The perspective change from Chad to Korvo is supposed to symbolize the 2 avaible perspectives in modern Fallout games.
- Comment from Leafless: "I always felt, that the 1st person view was ideal for scary and dark locations, so I chose it for the Chad-part to intensify the feeling of fear and helplessness. The 3rd person view on the other hand is great for adventure and less peril parts, since it gives the viewer a feeling of secureness to see the surrounding."
- As theme song I would like to use "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", with altered lyrics:
Swing Low, Sweet Chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
Swing Low, Sweet Chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
I looked upon the dead, and what did I see
On the long way back home?
A murder of crows is following me,
On the long way back home.
| ||This page is a part of the Fallout: The Apprentice contest. It should not be confused with in game content.|
Title: Not Violent Enough
Location: Around Las Cruces, New Mexico.
- Wasteland scene, north of Radium Springs(RadSprings), near the city of Las Cruces, New Mexico. Time: Night. Small makeshift shack challenges the emptiness of the desert. A sandstorm is raging.
- Aside the roaring wind, we hear the screams and cries of a woman. She seems to be in pain. Zoom-in on the small makeshift shack.
- Inside the shack now. There's a double bed, a broken fridge, and a few crates stacked against the wall. The woman is on the bed, apparently in labor. A man sits by her, cheering and supporting her.
- After 10 seconds of mixed cheers and cries, the door of the little shack is kicked open, as a raider shouts a high-pitched "SURPRIIIIIIIISE!".
- The sounds of pain turns into horror, the woman screams even louder as her husband gets up to face the interloper.The raider raises his pistol and shoots the man in the head twice, as a devilish grin appears on his face. He then aims at the woman's stomach and shoots 4 times. He reloads and sheathes his weapon.
- He checks the fridge, takes a bottle of Nuka-cola, smashes the top off and drinks.
- He turns around, looks at his victims, scratches his balls and suddenly realizes he could have made three kills instead of two. The raider mutters "How lame..." , kicks the face of the dead husband, then gets to the exit. He moonwalks his way out.
- Tracking shot of the raider, out in the sandstorm. [Ron Pearlman moment]
- Quick zoom-out, revealing to the viewer the sad state of America from satellite point of view. Planet earth has a weird, faint green glow.
- Three black and white snapshots of vault entrances scroll slowly on the upper third of the screen, from left to right.
""When the atomic warheads were launched around the world, a part of Earth's population sought shelter in vast underground vaults.""
- Two other snapshots, one of a feral ghoul the other of a non-feral ghoul, scroll on the lower third of the screen, from right to left.
““Outside of the vaults, men and women either died or became mutated creatures as the surface was engulfed by the light of radiation.""
- Flags of different factions appear on the screen, fading in one by one, covering the picture of planet earth. First the Enclave flag, then NCR flag, Legion flag, BoS flag, Follower of the Apocalypse flag, Khan Skull.
"When the vaults opened, years later, their inhabitants set out across the ruins of the old world to build new societies, establish new villages, and form new tribes."
- Flags fade out one by one, revealing the picture of the raider who killed the couple. Profile shot: white man with light tan, mohawk-styled brown hair, has piercings on his ear. Looks like he’s in his late 20’s .
“"Some decided they didn't need law. They roam the wasteland, hedonists trying to survive as they make life harder for the lawful remnants of America.””
- The picture of the raider fades out, revealing the face of some kind of sheriff, bust shot, white cowboy hat, grey short hair, handlebar mustache. He looks old, mid 40’s.
““Others struggle to protect the civilized people against all threat, seeking to eliminate lawless beasts and fighting for the greater good.””
- Zoom-in on the eye of the sheriff. We hear a male voice. “Richie? Sir?” The eye blinks and looks
- We are in some sort of office, the sheriff seated at his desk covered with complaint files and bounty sheets. A young man stands at the doorstep, a coffee mug in hand, a worried look on his face. Sheriff invites the man inside. “What is it Joel? A drunken brawl again? You know, your job is to take care of it, not rush to me and let me do everything. You ain’t the deputy to sit on your ass all day.”
- Deputy walks up to the desk, explaining quickly how groups of raiders have been sighted north and east of the small town of RadSprings. Deputy claims that they would cause trouble and that they need to be dealt with quickly before they settle down.
- Sudden gunshot. Deputy is startled, while the sheriff is barely displaying any surprise. He stands up, grabs his sunglasses, and heads out of the town hall, followed by the young man. In the streets of eastern Las Cruces, were wastelanders founded the town known as Caliente Playa, most people rush to safety inside their houses, taking away their Brahmins out of sight as well, while curious folks stay outside, looking around to see where that shot came from. Weather: Sunny, without any clouds in the skies.
- Men ready their weapon then tension drops down as one of the local shouts a “Sorry! It was me! Cleaning my gun!”. Sheriff threatens to confiscate his weapon then lecture the goofy citizen about safety and security.
- Deputy taps the sheriff’s shoulder, warning him again about the raider menace and suggesting to create a small militia to investigate. Sheriff nods and calls to the citizen, explaining the situation and asking for volunteers. A few men approach. They designate a squad leader, then the small group heads out.
- Richie and his Deputy go back inside the town hall, reviewing the plan set in case of raid.
- Back to the raider who killed the couple at the very beginning. Tracking shot of him, walking toward a makeshift camp guarded by his fellow ruffians in a desert area. They are many, about 20 men and women dressed in leather and metal armors. They’re discussing the raid they planned for the night. RadSprings will be attacked for food, water and ammo. Prisoners are optional.
- One of them salutes the protagonist with a cold “Hey Manuel.”, then inquires about last night, wondering where he was gone. It looks like he’s the leader of the group. Manuel sits by one of his associates and tells his friends about the couple he killed. Friend on his right tells him he could’ve kept the baby’s head as a trophy. Manuel shakes his head and says the baby head would rot at some point. Bad idea.
- Friend keeps paying attention to the other conversation as Manuel reaches for a suitcase lying about, allegedly his. He unlocks it, then a troubled expression appears on his face. His favorite chems are missing. The only other person who knows the combination is the guy with the baby head fetish. He turns around and beats his "friend" into submission, before sticking a fork in his nose and ripping it off. The rest of the crew slowly backs away as Manuel dips the bloody nose in a small jar of hot sauce and eats it. "That's what happens when you touch my stuff. You have been warned...Om nomnomnom". Leader seems unimpressed and unconcerned. But deep down, he too fears Manuel’s wrath.
- Review of the plan, weapon selection, the group of raider finishes the preparations. Manuel is handed ammo for his pistol, and look at noseless friend's flamer. He is slightly jealous, and thinks about how he could obtain that weapon, and keep it. He grins, then begins to hum "I don't want to set the world on fire".
- Back to the small militia sent by the sheriff. They reach the small town of RadSprings, asking one of the local (young woman, dark short hair, pretty face) and a few traveling merchants about the raiders whereabouts. They don’t seem to understand and deny the presence of raiders. The men look at each other, confused. They ask if it's a prank. The woman says they aren't lying, and that the town is doing fine. The men from Caliente Playa decide to stay in town for a few days.
- Night time. Back to raider group. Most wears masks, slowly progressing to the outskirt of RadSpring. One throws a stick of dynamite at the nearest house. Raid begins. The raiders charge into town, howling, laughing, and shooting.
- After entering a few houses, throwing few sticks of dynamites, murdering locals, the Young Woman from earlier gets out of a building with a few more raiders, who were disguised as the traveling merchants all along. She holds the head of the militia leader in one hand and a laser rifle in the other.
- Many buildings are on fire, casting ominous shadows of the raiders. In the middle of the carnage, noseless raider runs up to Manuel, with a few round shapes in his hands. "Look bro! Baby heads! Found baby triplets and--". Noseless is interrupted by Manuel: "Look bro, an exploding head.". Manuel then aims his pistol at noseless raider's face, at point blank range, and shoots. Noseless didn’t see that coming.
- Noseless' head explodes. He falls backward, landing on his flamer’s reservoir. Manuel takes the flamer off his previous owner, contempt. He grins and mutters “Finally...” Envy quenched, he equips the weapon and burns the corpse of his late associate.
- Young woman approaches Leader. They exchange a few update about the infiltration plan, the ongoing raid, the slaughter of the small militia. They then continue killing the townsfolk.
- Manuel and a few men enter one of the houses, finding 3 people: a young girl, a woman and an old man. Manuel burns the old man alive as the others dismember the little girl under the horrified look of the woman. Despite missing her arm, the little girl is still alive, screaming. The raider olding the arm beats her senseless with it, as another cuts off her leg. After looking for supplies, they blindfold the woman and cuff her wrists with a chain and a lock before heading out.
- Manuel claims the woman his. Nobody objects. It would be unwise to touch Manuel’s stuff after all.
- Young woman leaves Militia leader’s head on a pike, as a warning to whoever would come back to RadSprings. The raiders leave town, going back to their makeshift camp.
- Richie’s house, night time. Loud knocks on the door, his deputy barges in, waking the old man who was sleeping soundly in his bedroom. Visibly panicked, Deputy says that vivid light can be seen to the northwest. He fears for the people of RadSprings.
- The sheriff gets his gun(M1Garand) and heads outside, only to witness said light. He knows that raiders attacked the nearby town. The expression on his face goes from worry to anger. He swears he will find the raiders and kill ever last one of them. He tells the deputy to follow him as he begins jogging toward RadSprings.
- Back to Young Woman and Leader, as they’re walking toward their makeshift camp. The raiders captured some people. Men, for torture and food. Women, for torture, food and sex. Leader and Young Woman are already discussing a new plan to ambush the people of Caliente Playa. Young Woman will again lie about her identity and make the people of Caliente Playa believe she is one of the survivors.
- Manuel is asked why he is carrying Noseless’ flamer. He lies, and says he died at the hands of some kid trying to be a hero. He tugs on the leash of his new sex slave, the woman he captured, to make her walk faster. He wouldn’t do like some of his associates and carry his prize on his shoulders. “And those other motherfuckers intend on feeding and keeping their women alive...”, he mutters. Sloth isn’t a bad option for him. No need to take care of anyone. No need to worry about anyone except self.
- Young Woman kisses the Leader goodbye, and heads back to the burning town.
- Captive woman trips and falls, causing Manuel to stop. He pulls the leash upward, forcing her to rise on her knees, before putting his pistol against her head, threatening to kill her. He lets the others take the lead, to talk to his slave a bit. He tells her what will become of her, grinning as he sees tears flowing down her cheeks.
- ”BANG”. The Captive screams, startled. Manuel laughs his head off, then tugs on the leash, telling her to keep walking and to keep quiet. They get back to the makeshift camp.
- Daytime, early in the morning. Sheriff and his Deputy reach RadSprings. Sheriff is angry. Deputy is shocked. They walk to the center of town, and find the head on a pike. They look at the head of their late Militia leader. Joel pukes. Richie calls out for survivors.
- Young Woman wearing a deceased local’s dress gets out of the general store, acting scared and troubled. She asks for their help. Deputy is willing to escort her to Caliente Playa. Sheriff thinks the lady is suspicious, as she is the only survivor. Joel says that people can be lucky. They look inside a few remaining buildings carefully, only to witness death and gore.
- They head back home with Young Woman. As they arrive, Richie tells her he’ll keep an eye on her. She smiles and thanks him.
- Daytime, around noon, two days later. At the makeshift camp, a portion of the raiders went to look for the ambush spot the Young Woman discussing with the Leader. The ones who stayed are roasting two of the captured men above a campfire.
- Manuel isn’t hungry. He’s horny. He glares at his slave, lust making his eyes sparkle. He hasn’t tried her out yet. Even if lawless, shameless and careless, he would still like a bit of privacy. He drags his sex slave away from the camp to find a calm, empty spot. He finds a good place, among small dead trees, boulders and dirt. He chains the Captive to a dead tree. She is begging him to let her go.
- "I want you to be a slut for me...”, he says softly as he kneels. He takes off his clothes, and does the same with the captive. “Lie down and spread wide, bitch!" Manuel smirks venomously as he pulls his victim toward him. She keeps squirming to free herself from the chains around her wrists. She struggles against his weight in a last attempt to escape, but soon realises it is futile to try. She hasn’t been fed since her capture and is too weak to resist Manuel. In the end, our hero gets the girl, and gets laid. And stabs her in the chest in the middle of the act, to make her stop crying and screaming. And he fills her womb with hot semen as a last spasm shakes her dead body. Captive is no more.
- Back to the Young Woman disguised as a survivor, in the sheriff’s office. She managed to earn the sympathy and trust of the people of the little town. Richie still doesn’t trust her. Joel, on the other hand, listened as she explained she knows a safe location in the Orange mountains (actual Organ mountain and its surroundings), where the inhabitants of Caliente Playa could take refuge as the raiders would raid the deserted town. They are too many, she says. The town doesn’t stand a chance, she says. Deputy says he thinks it’s a good idea, and says they could fool the raiders into thinking they left town, then find their camp next day to attack them by surprise. Young woman agrees, saying it would be a smart move indeed.
- She heads out of the town hall, about to go to the nearby bar to tell the people they will evacuate. Richie followed her. He grasps her shoulder and forces her to turn around. He asks her about how she discovered that secure location. She shrugs, saying she doesn’t remember, and tells him that it doesn’t really matter, before turning around and entering the bar. He enters as well.
- She explains the evacuation plan to the citizens, telling them to arm themselves as they could encounter critter on the way to the mountains. Sheriff claims that they can defend their home instead of fleeing. Most of the citizens agrees with Young Woman. 1/3 of the people present in the bar will stay with the sheriff.
- Deputy Joel enters the bar, and affirms he will accompany the group on their way, as a lawbringer while they’re away from the town. Sheriff shakes his head as he look at him, disapproving.
- The people of C. P. ready themselves and their Brahmins for the trip. Richie tells Joel to be careful out there. Deputy and Young Woman take the lead of the caravan, leaving the town behind, progressing slowly to the mountains.
- Raider camp. Half of the raider scouts came back, saying they found the ambush spot to be perfect. They mention a few caves around the place which would be a great hideout. Leader tells his crew they will ambush the people setting camp there at night. He sends the scouts back to the spot, telling them to hide in the caves. They leave with some others, jogging at a fast pace toward the Orange mountains.
- Manuel approaches the Leader, and asks what they will do with the villagers and their belongings. Leader replies that they will kill them all, and that he will keep a third of the gains and will split the rest among the group. Manuel wants more. But doesn’t say anything. Cunning, he thinks he could come up with a plan to become the new leader. He could convince others the leader is weak. Or he could kill him like he did with Noseless.
- ”What did you say?”, says Leader. Crap. Some part of the plan leaked, dumb Manuel was thinking aloud. “You say you’re stronger than me, punk?” Ah. That part. Easy to prove. Manuel confirms what he said, and proposes a challenge to Leader: The first man to decapitate one of the captured child wins. Leader says it would be absurd to try without a knife or a hatchet. Prideful, Manuel says that strong men make better leaders.
- Some of the raiders around overheard the argument, and agree with the Leader. Manuel approaches one of the kids and drags him in front of the Leader, claiming the task is easy. Leader still refuses to do it. Manuel asks some of his colleagues to hold down the child as he’ll pull his head off.
- Manuel asks Leader if battle chems are allowed for this contest. Leader replies he can do whatever the fuck he want as it is not even a contest. Manuel reaches for his suitcase, and grabs a syringe of Psycho, and injects it in his arms.
- He approaches the crying, begging child, raiders around him holding it down by arms, legs, and torso. Manuel grabs the kid’s head under the lower jaw, and begins pulling up.
- The kid screams for 20 seconds, crying, as Manuel is unable to decapitate him with sheer strength. Leader giggles, calling Manuel weak. With a sparkle of rage in his eyes along with a battle cry, Manuel decides to change his position. He crouches, puts his hands under the kid’s jaw, and pushes with his arms and legs.
- Camera is directed toward the shadows of the kid and the drugged man. The kid stops screaming, and the sound of flesh being torn is heard. The head is send flying, as a fountain of blood flows from the headless neck. Manuel is laughing. That kind of creepy, high-pitched laugh that would make any sane man shiver.
- Leader and raiders around are shocked. Some of the captives are crying, one fainted. Manuel screams “Who’s the boss now?”. To which Leader replies that going brutal on a kid won’t make him a better “boss”. Manuel, out of rage, kicks the headless body before stomping his way to the campfire. Leader tells his subordinates to kill their captured victims.
- Late afternoon, back to the caravan. They reach the location between the mountains Young Woman talked about, and they set up tents and prepare to go to sleep. Some men have scheduled their watch hours. Deputy approaches the Young Woman and thanks her for her help. She smiles wide and says thanks aren’t necessary.
- At the same time, the remaining people of C. P. are barricading their doors and windows, setting up traps, preparing in case of raid. Sheriff is worried. He looks toward the place his Deputy and citizens were headed, and sighs. He feels he should have stopped them, and have them defend their home instead of fleeing and hiding.
- Nightime, people of C.P. are asleep. One of the guards wanders east, then finds an armored skeleton. On the armor, there is a two headed bear. He takes a closer look around him, and realizes he is standing on the remains of an New California Republic camp. Some of the skeletons are incomplete, their limbs detached and scattered around. He comes back to his camp and wakes up the Deputy to tell him about his discovery.
- ”This is no good....” says Joel as he inspects the remains of the camp, lifting their flag, shaking the dust off. “They were attacked. By who, I dunno. Maybe the Legion.” Guard says the bones have bite marks, and are scattered around. Legion wouldn’t waste their time dismembering their enemies. Deputy says it might have been the coyotes. They ate the corpses and tore them apart. As they are about to go back to their camp, they hear the Young Woman, shouting a “NOW!” which resonate in the mountains. Seconds after, raiders who were hiding in the caves higher in the mountain descend upon the camp, gun blazing, howling, laughing. From west comes Leader and his gang.
- While the massacre is under way, Deputy grabs the arm of the guard who was with him and drags him further east, into a big cave. They enter it. Deputy is terrified. Guard breaks free of Joel’s grasp and rushes to the camp, as the coward Deputy ventures further in the caves.
- The people from Caliente Playa try to defend themselves, shooting down some of the raiders only to meet their demise by either dynamite sticks or shotgun bullets. Surprisingly, the townsfolk are slightly better at ranged combat than the raiders, killing more of them than the Leader expected.
- Some raiders stick to Manuel, letting him handle more foes with his flamer.
- Deputy is still hiding in the cave, when he hears a roar coming from the depths of the mountain. Unmoving, listening, he feels the ground under him tremble slightly. Unable to see anything in the darkness, he lights his lighter. Bad idea. BAD.
- A few feets away from him are a pack of scaly, horned creatures. With impressive claws. He takes the lights out, luckily unnoticed by the Deathclaws which are heading outside with haste, probably alerted by the fight. The biggest one, strangely enough, has a bowler hat stuck on his left horn.
- The last member of the caravan(aside Joel) dies, but the raiders doesn’t have time to celebrate as they are charged by the pack of Deathclaws. The Leader, who was about to go east to search and destroy any remaining citizen, is killed first by the Alpha Male wearing a bowler hat.
- The raiders try to fight back, but bullets aren’t enough to repel the beasts. Unarmed combat would be futile. As they try to run back down the mountain path, a gang composed of 13 people stands between them and the escape route. As the gang betrays the remaining raiders and traps them between bullet and claws, Manuel, leader of this mutiny, readies his flamer to face the abominations.
- The last betrayed dies, and the remaining raiders take cover behind Manuel as his flamer spits fire at the beasts. Facing the fire, the creatures back away as the raider walks toward them. They are afraid of fire, despite their impressive stature and very hard hide. The others shoot at them, doing little damage. They manage to kill one, making the Alpha lead the pack east, running away.
- While Manuel fought the deathclaws, Joel tried to sneak past them, out of sight. But he was spotted by a baby deathclaw, which jumped on his back and slashed him. He turns around, grabs the baby deathclaw, and thanks to adrenaline manages to strangled it. He is severely wounded, but manage to get away from the battle undetected.
As he tries to make his way back to town, he collapses, exhausted. Adrenaline rush is over. ___________________________________________________________________________
- In town, nothing happened. Streets are deadly silent. Citizens are hiding in their houses, armed and ready to fight. Richie is worried, guarding the entrance of the town hall, where the children and the women are kept safe.
- Manuel is now at the entrance of an empty cave. The deathclaws left their nest to them. The 12 other raiders are piling the corpses outside, taking away any valuables, weapons, ammo, chems or food. They stuff the goods in a sack, and hand it to Manuel, who will decide how they’ll share them. Manuel sets fire to the pile of corpses, and heads further into the cavern, followed by the raiders he managed to rally under his leadership.
- As they enter, Manuel tells them to rest while he stand guard at the entrance. After all, he has the tool to keep the deathclaws away. They thank him, and get ready to sleep. One of them drop his batons of dynamite in a corner. Manuel looks at the explosive, grinning. There’s no chance he will be sharing the goods with them. Greedy bastard plans to kill them all.
- After a few hours of snoring, Manuel places a baton of dynamite between each of his followers, using strings to make them all explode at the same time. Using a lighter (since a flamer would make too much sound), he lights the end of the first string. He grabs the sack with all the valuables inside, and heads out. The fire reaches a knot, then spread to the 10 linked to the dynamite.
- Manuel waits outside, smoking a cigarette, his treasure lying at his feet. Taking a lucky guess, he opens his mouth: “Kaaa....”
- Boom. Explosion. The part of the cave where the 12 raiders were sleeping collapses on their remains. Outside, their “leader” laughs. “Mine! ALL MOTHERFUCKING MINE!”. He looks inside, trying to see through the smoke. There is still enough space for one person to set up camp in the cave. Perfect hideout. After the smoke dispersed into the night sky, Manuel got back inside.
- Daytime, early in the morning. Joel is still lying on the ground, in the middle of the desert between C. S. And the Orange mountains. Richie left the town, since nothing happened the previous night. He stumbles upon his deputy, and fears the worst. He injects the back of Joel with a few stimpaks, turns him around and pour water on his face. Joel wakes up.
- The deputy tells the sheriff what happened. The ambush. The deathclaws. He apologizes, says that he should have trusted the sheriff instead of the Young Woman. He talks about the remaining raiders. And their leader. Richie escorts him back to to C.S. , then hits the road again, resolve in his eyes. He will kill the bastards, and go through deathclaws if he has to.
- Back to the cave. Manuel is hungry. REALLY hungry. Maybe it’s the drugs he consumed overnight. He doesn’t know. But the hunger is great. He looks around the non-collapsed parts of the caves. He finds a pile of Brahmin corpses, along with some Roaches munching them.
- Manuel cannot control himself. He grasps one of the insects by surprise, lifts it up to his face and take a bite out of it, as if it was an hamburger. And antoher bite. And another. The radroach squirms in his hands, and dies. The others are still trying to eat what’s left of the deathclaws’ stash. Manuel finished his first radroach, then kneels down on the Brahmins. Using a knife, he chops pieces of meat, ingesting them raw. It tastes good. He still doesn’t know why his stomach feels empty, but his instincts tell him gluttony is the answer. So he eats.
Richie approaches the mountain, seeing smoke rising in the air. He clenches his teeth, his palms turn into fists. He walks up the mountain. But as he climbs, he ends up face-to-face with a wounded deathclaw. A wounded mother deathclaw, and her two babies. Quickly, the sheriff readies his M1 Garand and aims at the mother’s head, shooting repeatedly to end her as she rises. She dies, and her babies, hearing the gunshots, charge.
- Richie walks backward, reloading his weapon, then shoots at the closest target. He hits twice, but doesn’t kill the baby. Richie dodges a clawed attack, and smashes the deathclaw’s head with the other end of his gun, holding onto the cannon. Target flinches, dizzy.
- The other deathclaw pounces on the sheriff, but sheriff swings his M1 Garand on it, casting the beast aside. Richie then start holding his gun properly again, and sticks it in the jaws of the abomination before shooting. One down. One more to go.
- The remaining monster shakes his head, and hurls itself at the sheriff. Richie shoots, and kills it, at last. Sheriff then continue toward the caves.
- Manuel hears the gunshots. He grabs his flamer, but realise it’s empty. It’s back to the good ol’ pistol. He checks if it’s loaded, then hides in his cave, with his treasure.
- Richie approaches. He stands at the entrance. He listens carefully. The echo allows him to hear Manuel breathing. “I know you’re here”, the sheriff says. “It’s over for you. Surrender, or die. Reveal yourself.” Of course, he is lying. He only wants to have the last raider in sight before shooting it down like the dog he is.
- Manuel hides his pistol in his back, his belt holding it in place. He raises his hands, and gets out of his hiding spot. Sheriff aims at him. “Alright old man. I surrender. Please, don’t kill me.”
- ”You wish.”, replies Richie. “Now you’re dead.”
- A small click echoes in the small cave, and the sheriff’s face melts. He is confused, shocked. And terrified. Manuel slowly lowers his arms, astounded. A second click is heard. The ammo clip is empty.
- Manuel reaches for his pistol quickly, and shoots a first time through the sheriff’s heart. Richie stands there, at the entrance. He mutters “Someone will avenge me...Jo---“, and is interrupted by 3 other shots.
- After a moment of silence, Manuel sings “I shot the sheriff”.
- Last scene, where we see Manuel’s face. He says, in the Joker’s fashion: “And now, it’s simple. We kill the deputy.”
- For this months results, and votes, just click on the tabs above.
Due to DragonBorn96's pull out, we instead called for a popular vote, to gain an extra vote when its needed the most....
The Winner of this popular vote is Dead Gunner, with a massive 531 votes.
Agent C says: As the lead judge, I'm the one responsbile for tabulating the votes. The way it works is each judge decides on what order they think the entries should go - we do allow for ties or people holding equal rank.
The contestant at the top of the list gets a number of votes equal to the number ofcontestants that played this round, the next contestant gets this less one,a nd so forth until the bottom placed entry who gets a point.
In the event of a joint rank, then we average the points for the ranks they cover (so if there's a 2 for a joint first, we would give them each 6.5 points as the average between second and first. We then add up all the points, and get a master ranking which you see here. We keep all of that secret to allow us to be weasely.
This Week, the judges individual rankings had little in common again, I guess we all just look for different things in the entries...
- Well, without further ado....
3/4 GarouxBloodline and Dead Gunner
7 Old Wolrd Relics
As the judges winner for the second week in a row, Paladin112 wins an extra vote which will be automatically added to his tally whenever he needs it the most. If he's up for elimination in a later round and ties for elimination, that vote will save him; if he never faces this issue, it will count in the final round. If he wins another round, he will get 2 votes he can use in the same round when he needs them the most (so you could have a handful of extra votes to help win the final).
For those of you keeping score, thats +2 votes for Paladin, and +1 vote for Dead Gunner, should they need it in the poll.
Leafless, SaintPain, and The Old World Relics are up for the vote this week.
This week, there is an elimination, as well as another popular vote for those not in the bottom 3.
- Old World Relics
Good use of art helps break it up
The story however seems awfully short and not much to it, seems more like a webisode to promote a Fallout game… I really would have liked to see more.
However, I just cant see how a continued series is Possble from this…
- Dead Gunner
Wow, just wow.
The whole "redemption angle I think is awesome and builds a lot of interetest in the character's future actions. Invictis seems the quintessential mysterious stranger from western style shows, turns up to help at the right time, but has this horrible past you probably wouldn't want to know if you were relying on him...
The song Is just perfect for the mood you're trying to accomplish, the whole empire of dirt angle speaks a lot for how he values his previous mistakes.
You've included some "old" elements, but have done so in a way that the TV series can very much stand on its own for those who haven't played the games, nor have any inclination to… although I'm sure it will convince more than a few to do so.
Had I seen this on TV, I'm sure I'd be petitioning for a full series to be commissioned… You'd have to start the regular series with him being saved at the end as he was bleeding our of course, but a series based on his continued road to redemption would just be awesome… it would very much be fallout.
The only real criticism I have is I would have loved to have been able to put a face to some of the people… or see an idea of what the high road might look like.
I think this is the best I've seen from you, and I hope to see more at this level.
The "establishing shot" of Lydia is masterfully constructed. You've told old fans when this is, a major part of the political situation, and that she's a troublemaker, all without a single line being spoken. The couple of shots after that seem a little jumbled, there might be a better way of communicating the same information about the NCR moving north, after the followers did so early.
Good to see some old familiar faces… helps die the continuity from the film to the games.
I know you were worried about it being confusing. It is, and it isn't at the same time. Your entry seems to tell the story of Seattle, more than anything else. This isn't confusing in any way - its fully consistent with the Fallout series…. Fallout 1 and 2 tell the story of the re-rise of California, etc. However all the jumping around between characters may be a bit confusing for the viewer… Might have been better to have at least a few of meet earlier.
You do have a lot of different types of action going on… The war, and the political intrigue that goes with it… Almost like Babylon 5 in parts. Some images might hav whelped to keep track as to who was who, especially as we have a nice concept art pic of Seattle on the wiki.
There isn't much of an opening to a TV series… Although the Dr Presper tease at the end defiantleads a door open, I'm not sure who would take the lead from here.
But as a "Battle for Seattle" movie standalone, its a masterpiece.
BTW - your own cut content list is interesting… rather strange, but a notable tidbit
Love your establishing shot with the rat being chased by the Coyotes
Not really sure about the whole change of protagonist half way. Didn't quite work for me… focusing on a factory without going deep into Fallout lore is a pretty brave choice.
Im not really sure where the TV series would come from this, or if it really works as a standalone movie because its not so drenched in the lore (being only a single factory, its tricky to do that); now Judge Dredd was kinda able to get away with it… But this to me seemed more like a webisode you might make to help promote a game.
Quinten Tarrintino called, he's asked if you could please go easy on the blood.
You've gotten the feel of the fallout setting down quite well, even if you've stayed away from the normal factions.
The story is a good one, I found myself interested in what was going to happen to the townspeople…
Definitely one of those "everyone dies" stories, which I guess is fitting in the fallout universe… But I can't see how this opens to a TV series, unless you want to base it around Manuel… I can't see a TV network picking up a story about an unreformed raider.
Instead, had the Sheriff won the day, you could have then lead into a TV series about the town's rise following an atrocity.
You've spun a great story about keeping your enemies close and friends closer. The story has some great detail in it, and some good characters. Bringing back the Enclave is one thats going to split the fan base - Classic fans will likely hate that a twice dead faction is back, newer fans are typically a bit more favourable to their return.
The dealing with overpopulation seems natural for a vault environment… I'm surprised this hasn't come up more in the games.
I kinda see where you were going with WalkerTalkerStalker, but it did get a bit confusing that way… Would have been better to use full names, or names that don't confuse with each other
But, and this seems to be a common thread to my reviews, not sure where the series is going after this… Is it going to be the story of Walker?
Forgive this is short, I really did enjoy it though.
- Garoux Bloodline
Timing your movie to tell the story of the great war was a brave move... Problem is (and this is caused by your timeline selection), you’ve only got the single element of a Ghoul (and perhaps a radscopion) that ties this into being “fallout”… one could remove the Fallout title and be unaware that it ever should have been there in the first place. Compare and contrast with the real life film treatment where Vault Tec, and the series trademark humour was present… This seems almost like an alternative story to the BBC’s Threads docudrama, rather than Fallout.
Basically, I would have liked to see more ties into the franchise. Perhaps instead of a mine, the Family turns up at what is supposed to be their vault, only to find it a half-excavated series of caverns, a few broken down Mr Handies and a billboard reading “Vault 14, To be completed summer 2077”;
I can see a potential series start in the Father trying to save and protect his now monstrous daughter… and come to terms with her new condition.
However, this treatment does seem very short, episodic length rather than movie.
- DEAD GUNNER
I don’t know what the first sentence stands for (the epigraph in a cover, a quotation in the beginning of the film,…), but it makes up for a very nice way to start the treatment, and I like the sentence; it has everything to do with Fallout. Well done, DG! If it’s a quote to come before the credits of the film, even better.
“The High Road” really feels like a film, the whole drama to it, the exploration of time and space in Invictus’ dream was spot-on, and the sequences of events are believable. The drama of Invictus’ existence in itself made me have goosebumps from time to time. His agony, his anguish in living and longing for home, were very well expressed in the narrative lines, very well-written, btw. The death of Melissa is so nicely done, so well narrated, that I could almost see the scene in a film. Very cruel but very realistic scene, it would make up for nice cinematography and soundtrack, I imagine.
For those who’ve read Invictus’ story on DG’s userpage, you know it’s really good. I’ve known about his fanfic material for some time now, and he has some great imagination for his characters. The solitude, the pain of a ravaged man, the guilt for not having been able to save his people. We can find that in Invictus.
I’d say that some cons would be the somewhat clichéd mid-to-end part of the story. It feels a lot like Gladiator, though, especially the ultimate dream of the fields back home, so I believe it could be produced to be a special scene, perhaps. We could also use some images, and to me that was the main issue aside from the text itself. It’s important for the creator in such an imaginative sort of competition to share what he sees, so that his readers can also visualize that fiction. I also think that the open-possibility factor – asked for in the challenge briefing – was not addressed here, as we are left with a clearly definitive ending, the image of death and the pictorial consequences of it (don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad, it’s just a bit differing from what the challenge proposed).
The language of the treatment is overall very good (with some minuscule exceptions), and the linearity is well established. I think the improvement of Gunner’s competitiveness gets a bonus from this entry. I was expecting to see an entry better than the last one, and I’m very happy with the outcome.
- GAROUX BLOODLINE
I like the realism with which you present your treatment (with a starting warning and list of characters). However, I don’t see as to why “brother 1”, “sister 2”, “uncle 1”, and so on were used. Okay, it’s a sketch concept, but even in sketches, names are often given, although generic and/or transitory ones. The names you gave to some of your characters made the reading a bit tricky later on, and I think a note telling your reader about the subsequent use of generic/temporary names would have been nice. If anything, you should’ve avoided numbers or put their family roles in parentheses next to real names, something like that. It may well be your own concept, but I don’t know: for a simple treatment, it feels confusing.
That’s a lot of lines on that, but don’t worry: it didn’t affect the treatment that much, no matter how much I seemed to care about it (may have just been “a lot of lines”). Their characterisations are great, and each character seems to have importance in the fluidity of the story, which is also very well written. Suffice it to say, the characters have life. However, I’ve got a sort of problem with Uncle 1: he’ll leave an inheritance, but what good could it do to a bunch of survivors in a ravaged and anarchic post-nuclear world?
I love the beginning with the famous Lovecraft line. But again: is that intended to be in the film, or just a quote for the treatment?
A tale of survival is always great, because it grants writers lots of nuances and circumstances to work on. In your case, you went down the “family survival” path, which is a good one, considering the amount of struggle and emotional loss you put there. Really impressive. Their efforts to build the tunnel, to run away from the incoming dangers, the strange world outside being only a painting they create in their minds from the hazards that slip into their shelter… The fears, the realism which you resorted to (realism doesn’t always mean quality, but it did in your case), and the fact that you wrote a tale of the days when the bombs had just fallen, which is unusual. Although there is little reference to Fallout per se – the radscorpions, the bombing event itself, Stranger being a ghoul of sorts –, it is a complete story that certainly fits the Fallout context. Besides, it’s good to have some innovation, as long as it’s nicely done; and I liked the innovation in your entry, especially the setting and the family being German.
While trying to imagine what everything would look like in a film, I could see a great potential coming from your entry, Garoux. Very well done.
Special commendations go to your cunning writing style, your mature storytelling, your well-rounded characters (despite the naming issue), the twist in the story with the coming of the stranger and everything he causes, and your scatological and claustrophobic ambiance. I also like the notes at the end, a very interesting addition to the Treatment. Congrats.
P.S.: I just don’t know if a television network would permit such strong display of violence, gore, and cannibalism. But they’re full of vampire/zombie tales, so what’s the problem with a cataclysmic ballad? ;-)
First off, I like the choice for the setting. The amount of conflict that could be explored by writers in Fallout titles in NM, especially since it’s a state that stands in the way of people coming from the East to NCR and vice-versa, and since the presence of the Legion there is substantial.
Again, I like the objectivity here. Ghoullover went for the concise approach, highlighting points that were necessary in the narrative. However, I don’t get the moonwalk move in the beginning. I don’t know, it seems silly, or maybe I don’t understand the humour. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is it supposed to be a Clockwork Orangish assault sequence?
Anyway, that’s a tiny point. I like the whole initial sequence with the narration, using fade-in/out techniques. Pretty nice way to tackle the cinematographic aura that it must bear. The written sections are in themselves pretty elaborate. “Some decided they didn't need law. They roam the wasteland, hedonists trying to survive as they make life harder for the lawful remnants of America/ Others struggle to protect the civilized people against all threat, seeking to eliminate lawless beasts and fighting for the greater good”. To me, that sentence encapsulates what the Fallout wasteland is all about: the ultimate choice for humanity to either go down the anarchic path in which the individual is utterly free to come and go, but has to pay for their acts harshly; or try to reunite and spark the flame of civilisation again. Bravo, Ghoullover!
A true post-nuclear western story with spot-on linearity, I’d say. Violence bar up to the roof: raids, bloody anarchy, even raw decapitation (I’d say there’s too much violence, some of it narratively silly, unnecessary). The considerable amount of narrative details, even concerning weather, is impressive. The main problem I can think of is the similarity between characters, as sometimes I’m caught wondering who’s who, and whose action is taking place. Try giving your characters more rounded traits, and everything will be ace.
Right at the start, I like the way Leafless uses the imagination to set the action sequence of the giant rat being chased by the coyotes, and the narration being played over it. Nevertheless, I wanted an original narration created by him from the start, not a bit from Fallout New Vegas intro. We want to see how the writer engages the whole process of the treatment conception, including how they begin a “war, war never changes” narration. It’s fun to see the diverse versions of it.
Despite that, the initial sequence is really creative. The perspective from the rat is well done, and well organised into the entire sequence. The man then gains the narrative perspective, and very subtly. All in all, a tidy narrative that encompasses elements of perspective very well, changing them discreetly. Besides, it leads the reader/viewer from the general fictional context to the more specific scenario of the film. Nice work.
The concept of human manipulation and incarceration by robots is interesting, but I would expect more on the robots’ personalities. Mr. Winker’s traits are ok (although sometimes I think he converged with the traditional “sci-fi megalomaniac mastermind”, which is kind of predicable; until he gives his childhood recreation reasons for his insanity, which is well thought of, though), but I felt as though his “partners” (or “workers”) would need something too, to make the whole Saw-style life-or-death game more believable; just a suggestion. Also, sometimes I don’t know who’s who, since you often refer to “the man” during the initial chase of the 3 survivors, when we are not yet familiar with a main character image, and only later do we get a bit more intimacy after Korvo is given the perspective of the story, and at the end with the young African-American rising from the ashes.
Overall, I enjoyed your entry, Leafless. Although having a wee bit of science-fiction clichés, it is a compelling and well-written story. As I said, try to avoid the “unnamed and indistinct character for a good bit of the plotline” problem. Other than that, well done. ;-)
- OLD WORLD RELICS
Believe me, it hurts me to say it, but I expected more from OWR on this one. I don’t know what happened, but the telemovie idea sounded a bit weak. But that’s my opinion. I’ll point out some cons in more detail:
The beginning, although kicking off well with the Fallouty narration, gets a silly and a poor break of fourth wall with the narrator saying “Enjoy your stay, and watch out for murderous raider parties!”, while telling the story with a voice-over narration. It sounds uninteresting, since many things there said are implied in the images (the viewer doesn’t want to see and hear the same thing, suffice it to say). This kind of description should be included only in the treatment itself, not in the narration that will be displayed in the film. The stereotypical line “Steven being the Canadian he is moves into help the poor merchant when Brutus notices his present” is unnecessary to the narrative in that it creates an alleged stereotype of a certain nation, which isn’t necessarily true, especially from the neutral perspective of the narration. It’s also strange that such a large and notorious area of a city as the Queens University would have only one 15-people settlement. I found that really unconvincing, especially given the fact that some raiding parties “have been known to pester the settlement” (although later, in a supporting article, you say that it “never had a history with raider problems”).
Good points are the climactic ending, very dramatic and rightfully so. The suggestion for open possibilities in the challenge briefing were well addressed in the entry, as Victoria’s life can take a turn for better or worse in a sequel or TV series, as well as the life in all of Ronto. I found the supporting articles to be more interesting than the main article, to be honest. The other areas of the city detailed in one of your supporting articles were nicely done, and I missed the use of them in the very story (Corners and Wonderland). I think the problem is that you aimed at a telemovie, but thinking of a videogame. The whole treatment indeed sounded like something you would *play* in Fallout, not *watch*. And that’s not a bad thing in itself. The choice for Toronto is a smart one, and the nuances of conflict in the city seem compelling. But we, as judges/readers, are looking for a filmic interpretation of the Fallout world, that is, a linear and more *storywise* complex one (which favours films), not *open-world-wise* (which favours the Fallout gaming style).
Don’t take it personally, OWR. I know you have a huge ability for this, but everyone has their downs eventually, and this one wasn’t even bad, just full of tiny bad points, thus the considerable amount of negative notes. And it may be only *my* view, not other people’s. But, as a judge, I need to be critical and honest, and I’m sure that you’ll improve next time. ;-)
With “Seattle Plague”, we get a more genuine touch on the Fallout lore; that doesn’t necessarily make Paladin’s treatment better than the others’, but it’s nice to see it that way. Pretty concise writing, sometimes even skipping points that would have clarified the story for the reader, make the reading process easier. But I understand it somehow, it’s long as it is, and with more details, it would be unacceptably long.
I like the idea of the MFR; a distinct branch formed after the latest of the Southwestern wars as a way of governing the Mojave area better sounds nice. The image for the badge of the Government looks neat too. The alliances attacking the NCR put a lot of weight on the canon though, don’t you think? I have to think more about it, but I guess it’s alright, since this film would propose a new Fallout scenario anyway. It’d be stupid to create thematic and lore-based barriers. Besides, it’s necessary for the logical continuity of your story. Ah, forget my previous argument! Your idea is actually great. XD
But let’s get to the main thing: I’m impressed with your treatment. It’s coherent with the original treatment used as model for the challenge, it contains some of the best cinematographic creations in written language I’ve seen in this challenge, and I love the idea of alternating the narrative from one character to another. The drama develops in a nice linear-film-like crescendo, starting to raise questions as to the nature of the Green Death, and who’s responsible, who’s under its grasp, what the NCR wanted with it. I’m really impressed with this.
I missed something though. Big MT is a crucial facility, whose soil not everyone is lucky enough to step on. Suffice it to say, accessibility is a problem, and its solid location has never been unfolded. I noticed a lack of explanation as to how so many people got access to such a top-secret area. The problem here is not the exact location of it so much as how it got so popularised and how so many people and groups had it as headquarters, depot, research area, laboratory, etc. For a top-secret and top-drawer technological/scientific facility, it got really pop. Despite that little problem, I loved the whole concept. The narrative is concise and down-to-earth, the thematic conspiracies and masterplans to spread the plague, the way you involve pretty much every faction available at that canonical time, the nice ending. Impressive work here, Paladin.
P.S.: I have to say that Marcus is one mean son of a bitch! From a soldier in Master’s Army to leader of Broken Hills to leader of Jacobstown to president of the MFR Council. Wow! ;-)
- ST PAIN
As always, a man that highlights details, the charming narrative (something you should always keep, it’s your ace of spades), the good images, and a bit on the humorous side. I have to say that this time, it was a lot on the humorous side, while keeping the conciseness and linearity needed for the treatment format; well done with the balance. I caught myself laughing during some occasions in the story. “Lucy takes Walker to her bed in a made for TV style that leaves only a wee bit to the imagination” that’s nice and discreet humour right there. Congrats on that, mate.
The funny thing is that, with the passing time, people began to forget the humour that Fallout used to have. I guess it was lost in FO3, and FONV tried to revive it, I’m not sure that it did thoroughly or originally, but it’s farily good. St. Pain captures the 50’s foolish humour, and translates it into a telemovie format, apparently with ease. Walker’s story ends up being a comical/epic tragedy, if such a thing is even possible to exist.
However, I’m not sure why you used part of FO3 initial narration in your treatment, Saint. I’d like to know. Because, to me, it sounded a bit lifeless to reuse part of an original game narration, and you seem to be such an imaginative and creative guy; I was left wishing for an initial narration of your own, wishing for a St. Pain’s rendition of a Fallout narration.
That doesn’t overshadow the power of your story nonetheless. The construction of Walker’s quest on the outside is impressive, and his dilemma is perhaps that which we would imagine ourselves enduring if such a scenario were possible in our lives. The narration of the in-camera elements is great as well. I like it when the writer can make us visualise the scene genuinely, “showing” us the narrative elements necessary to understand what, when and where is taking place. Concerning that point, you hit the nail on the head.
I also like the justification for the names of Stalker, Talker and Walker. The personality reasons for them are well exposed.
One question: does the name “The Ark” for the vault come from Rage, the game?
This was a real challenging challenge and a good one because it's challenging the contestant's understanding of the Fallout Universe, and their ability to translate this into a unique story that's more narrative-driven. By and large the contestants did a good job with this, I have to say. It's no easy task to create a tele-movie treatment.
As I read these through, the things I tried to pay attention to are 1) How interesting/exciting is the treatment? 2) How much
As an aside, the combination of all these treatments would be a very cool book or mini-series. "Fallout Stories" anyone?
- Old World Relics
I liked the summary, setting, characters, and treatment, but I found myself wishing for more of a dramatic set-up vs. just jumping right into the plot. This said, the plot is pretty interesting - it feels like a telemovie-ized version of the game itself.
- Dead Gunner
Love the dream sequence, it seems like a perfect fit for a post-apocalyptic world. As does the story - this is really dark stuff, and it feels like a good fit.
- Paladin 117
This is a very detailed script, and feels the closest to a real treatment, even if the story is a little bit cliched and gets off to a fairly slow start. I love the teaser at the very end. Lydia's character is quite compelling. I have to say that the story feels like it gets bogged down a bit in the middle…I found myself losing focus b/c of the details.
Very, very good from start to finish. A great dramatic opener that turns into a scene with instant tension, and a satisfying (and simple) plot progression. One of my favorites of the bunch.
Another strong opener, with a heckuva lot of story. This is a pure action shoot-em, with some classic archetypes. I like the attention to Fallout Style details such as the suitcase with chems, the weapon selection, etc. It really feels like a movie version of the game. The "I shot the sheriff" ending elicited a mixed reaction. I thought it might be a little much, but I've seen this kind of ending used to good effect on shows like Luther. I say keep it in. This is one of my favorites, mostly because I like the action sequences.
I love the set-up for this - the notion of the 21st birthday "walk" is cool. It evokes Hugh Howley's Wool series nicely. However, I feel like the story loses its way a little bit, and I'm not crazy about the ending. I think this is largely a result of the treatment being too detailed actually - it's hard to see the forest (get the story) here because of the trees (details). It's probably a little too much like Fallout the game to be a good tele movie.
Good treatment b/c it explains the plot and progression, and is simple but memorable. Love the opening music - it really does a great job of establishing tone and theme while reading the treatment. This is a very simple three-act concept, which I think would make for a good movie. The moments after the nuclear fire could be absolutely mesmerizing in a screenplay - particularly the dialogue, dread, and horror. My only real negative here is that this feels more like a prequel to Fallout vs. something set in the universe. Still though, there's room for that, right? </div></div>
- The votes have now closed....
The winner of the popular vote is GhoulLover666, she'll get an extra vote whenever she needs it the most.
Sadly, Leafless, you're fired. We hope to catch you at the end of this challenge for a radio interview.
- Challenge 3 - All Clear Signal
Challenge 3, by tradition is our "Renovation" Challenge, where we take something from the existing games, and ask you to give it a new spin.
A common thing that bugs fans of Fallout 3 in particular in New Vegas was the inability to "meet" Mr New Vegas… Well now is your chance to give the west's favourite DJ some screen time as well as some airtime.
Here are the guidelines for this challenge:
- Remember that your content is being added during the creation of New Vegas - not after the game has released - as such there are a few things you can change, and play about with
- Although "outside of game" its set in Canon that Mr New Vegas is an AI… You will not be held to this - as you're doing this content the game is still being made, changing that isn't an issue. You can make him an AI, a person, or anything else you like.
- You can change up the playlist a bit, and/or add content to the radio if it works in with your renovation
- The general feel however of the station, and his personality should remain intact.
- Wayne Newton is already contracted at this point, so you cannot change the voice artist.
- You will need to add a location to meet Mr New Vegas at. This could be a new location, a repurposed/renovated existing location, or an extension of an existing location
- You will need to add some sort of content to make Mr New Vegas of interest to the player. This could be a new quest line, or the extension/modification of an existing one.
- You can include as much new content as you feel you need to to that your renovation is the best one, and you can modify existing content to include your new content. However, you should avoid contradicting existing quest lines and characters
There are no other restrictions. Entries should be in by 25 May 2013.
Our prize vault has been cracked open, here you can see what our contestants might just walk away with...
For our top five finishers
Our good friends Bethesda have offered us 5 wasteland simulation kits... This Viewmaster and lunchbox will certainly help even the most unprepared of vault dwellers surivive the coming apocolypse.
For our winner
Our good friend Mr Chris Avellone, and the gang at Obsidian Entertainment have offered our winner a signed copy of the Fallout: New Vegas ultimate edition, in a format of the winners choice. A prize that even the grand-ghouls will treasure.