Welcome to the third issue of the Weekly House Technical Update:
Today we've got several different updates and issues to cover.
Due to some unforseen events (Sulik trading my Holochips for a supposedly new hammer) we narrowly evaded a complete reactor meltdown and subsequent nuclear explosion which would have killed us all. Thanks to User:Agent c's gift of a sonic screwdriver I was able to make the necessary adjustments to prevent the meltdown and boost the running capacity of our Reactor to 100%. This means we can now run all our necessary systems without the rolling blackouts that used to be cause by turning on the transporters.
The construction of the west wing was completed this week, which meant that it was time to connect the House's mainframe systems to the west wing, but due to the threat of running over budget, instead we have decided to let our Tenants perform their own system upgrades and such (Fully upgrading the West wing would have put us over budget by about 30%). As a result the 35% of the budget that is left over will be used to make luxury upgrades to the main parts of the house, and be redistributed to individual departments as needed.
Some of you may have noticed an internet outage on Thursday (Some meaning User:JASPER42 almost killing me over the lack of porn). The temporary outage was so that we could install new routers in all parts of the House. These new routers boost our download speed from 64 Mbs and upload speed of 15 Mbs to a download speed of 500 Mbs and an upload speed of 100 Mbs. It also increases our bandwidth so that no amount of downloads will ever slow down processing again (Unless you decide to download every single porn video ever created...don't do that).
Automated Turret Defense Upgrades
This week we installed software upgrades that increase the precision fire rate of our Automated laser turrets that defend the perimeter and the interior of the house. Also we fixed the glitch in the system that made them fire bubbles instead of lasers.
Ball Pit Sanitary System
This week we installed a sanitation system in the Ball pit so that we no longer have to worry about finding disgusting items inside. This doesn't mean you are allowed to pee or excrete other wastes in the pit. Anyone found doing this will be assigned toilet cleaning duties for the next 3 weeks.
New Video Cards
We have installed new video cards in all House Computers to make graphical performance as good as it can be. These cards are top of the line and can run any game or program that requires them at the best performance settings.
Skeet Shooting systems upgrade
We have installed new upgrades to the skeet launchers in the Skeet Shooting range, you can now change the settings on the rate of launch to Snail, Turtle, Human, Dog, and Cheetah.
This concludes another Weekly House Technical update. Stay tuned for next weeks issue.