|The following is based on Fallout Shelter and some details might contradict canon.|
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|Opening dialogue||Dweller responses||Character responses|
|Are you the researchers from the Vault? Excellent!|
We're the Wasteland Laser Association. Membership limited.
|Make us some Laser Rifles, nerd.||No. I won't. Now why don't you move along and let me science?|
|Astounding! Do you use a helium-neon mixture for the laser gain medium?||In fact, we do! It's so nice to meet another scientist! Take a look at this piece I've been working on!|
|This is a terrible place to do laser research.||That's the Wasteland for you! Feel free to look around.|
|Ah, good, the Dwellers! I need your Vault-Tec expertise!|
Tell me, what kind of beam emitter is best for use in a laser-based surgery apparatus?
|We prefer ones that set people on fire.||Oh no, that won't do at all! Thanks for your opinion, though. Forgive me, I need to ponder.|
|Use a proton emitter. It's positively positronic!||Of course! It all makes sense now! Here, for your vital assistance!|
|We honestly don't know. Go with your heart.||An organic beam emitter? I think that technology might be far too advanced. Oh well...|
|Hi there! Welcome to our Physics Club!|
We hit things, and see what happens! It's science!
|That just sounds like vandalism.||Vandalism for science! Never mind. You just don't get it. Excuse me.|
|A Physics Club? How positively Newtonian!||I know! Check out this little project I've been working on. Here!|
|This place isn't exactly safe for doing science experiments.||It's not ideal, but that's the price of progress! Sorry. I should get back to it.|
|Ah, good, the Dwellers are here. I need your help with a serious scientific question.|
I've been studying this old book I found about the elements.
|You're the scientist. Figure it out!||Hmph. Fine. I'll just continue studying this on my own. Now leave.|
|Density has nothing to do with weight.||Wait. It doesn't? Of course! I think... Here. Take this for your trouble!|
|We don't know, and we don't care.||Hmph. Fine. I'll just continue studying this on my own. Now leave.|
|Hurray, it's the Dwellers!|
We're the Coalition of Cool Chemists. We think we're pretty neat.
|Chemistry is useless for anything but explosives.||Such a barbaric attitude! We clearly have nothing more to discuss.|
|A coalition of chemists? That's dynamite!||It is! I've been making a few new compounds. Check them out!|
|You should leave. It's not safe.||Nonsense! Science is not a coward's game! Now, if you'll excuse me...|
|Excellent, the new researchers from the Vault!|
I'm studying the conversation of matter through the rigorous process of boiling water.
|That's what you're studying? How is boiling water supposed to help anyone?||I don't need your nay-saying! Just get out of here! Leave me to my work.|
|The water isn't being destroyed. It's changing from a liquid to a gas.||What? Of course! It's so obvious now! Here. A stipend for your insights.|
|Maybe it just doesn't like your stupid face.||Insults? Hmph. Fine. Leave me alone then.|
|Ah, yes! Help has arrived from the local Vault.|
We're the Wasteland Coroner's Association. We help catalogue all the dead people out here.
|So what you're saying is, you're useless.||How dare you! These people are dead, but not forgotten! Now leave me alone!|
|You're studying the dead? That's captivatingly cadaverous!||Finally people who understand! Here, for a fellow sawbones!|
|The Wasteland is dangerous. There's no time to study dead people.||Science waits for nothing, I'm afraid. I must continue. If you'll excuse me.|
|I'm afraid you're too late, Vault Dwellers. My patient is dead...|
Just kidding! He was already dead! For a while actually. Not a great smell...
|This is most disgusting conversation we've ever had.||If your stomach can't stand the science, get out of the lab!|
|Well, one reason is that the body isn't alive anymore to fight off bacteria and fungus.||An interesting theory! Thank you. Here. Have something for your trouble.|
|If you think the smell is bad, you don't want to know about the taste.||Are you saying you're... cannibals? Um... maybe you should just go.|
|It's the Vault Dwellers! Thank you so much for coming.|
This is the Bubbly Botanist Bureau. We combine flowers with smiles!
|Flowers and smiles are useless. Only cruelty rules the Wasteland!||Now what kind of an attitude is that? Why don't you get away from my plants?|
|We hope you're growing some delightful daffodils and righteous roses!||Hurray! Glad you appreciate my work. Here. Take a little something.|
|No offense, but this is a dangerous place to be gardening.||It's not just gardening, it's science! Never mind. Just leave me to my work.|
|You're just in time. I'm in the middle of a most interesting quandary.|
Plants require light to grow, but mushrooms don't! They grow even in total darkness.
|The only light you need is the shine from our amazing brilliance!||Uh, yes. Well, I should get back to work...|
|Plants make food from light, but mushrooms get their nutrients from dissolving molecules.||Fascinating! I'll need to write this down. Here. Take this for your help!|
|We don't know about light, but we're confident all living things can be set on fire.||That's... Not really what I was hoping to discover. Oh well. I should be on my way.|