Michael Hawthorne has dedicated his life (and life savings) to the pursuit of giddy drunkenness, staggering drunkenness, and finally, paralytic stupor. He spends the majority of every day drinking in Tenpenny Tower's Federalist Lounge. He even has a reserved seat that he occupies while drinking in the lounge.
Little is known about Hawthorne's background, aside from him drinking since he was a toddler. This excessive drinking at an early age is likely what made him into the man that he is today.
During conversations with Herbert Dashwood, he reveals that Michael has been drinking since he was a toddler, and when told to be careful with his remaining brain cells, he says "Nah, drown the buggers!"