{{Infobox character
|games =FNVHH, VB, FNVDM, FNVOWB
|mentions =Pizzarioni
|image =ghoul.jpg
|race =Bandage, Soggy
|sex =Snooper
|affiliation =The Church of Cheese
Caesar's Salad only 7 doller (1997-2014)
Beaten Dead Horse
Iowa State Bowling Champion Wayne Maratonio
|role =Cowgirl Position (formerly)
Co-founder of www. vibrator. nl
Temporary mate
|rank =Bongoriffic Flute Master (formerly)
Acting War Chief for the wankers
|location =Rusty old couch on the street
Eyebrow Cove
Fort Mercer 
|quests =Has A Nice Ring To It Don't Ya Think
BLAST IT OOH
Monkey Trouble
Flight from China
Started From The legion Now We're Here
Spanker
[[900 Dollars For The PS4]
The Grand Theft of Automobiles
Civilized Man's Malt Beer Foam
|alignment =EVIL
Very Good (as Legate)
|special =
0 ST, 0 PE, 0 EN, 0 CH, 0 IN, 0 AG, 0 LK|tag skills =
| Barter: | 0→100 |
| Guns: | 16→100 |
| Repair: | 23→100 |
|derived =
| Hit Points: | 20→25 |
| Critical Chance: | 0% |
| Poison Resist.: | 0% |
| Rad. Resist.: | 100% |
| Carry Weight: | 980 lbs |
| Dam. Threshold: | 0 |
|level =10→100 (Player level x 1.2)
|actor =Keith Kitara
|baseid =xx008A39 (rap star)
xx010947 (burned toast)
|refid =xx0093BE (burned after a fight)
|footer =File:IshimaruDoesABackflip.jpg
Joshua Graham's audition to Dangan Ronpa The Movie
}}
Joshua Graham (known formerly as Graham Crackers, and in folk legends as the Fucking loser who went at the cinema all by himself) is a giant dweeb who pissed his bed whenever he had a dream about Shaquille O'Neal.
Graham led Caesar's grandparents to a humiliating defeat in the First Battle of Hoover Dam. Afterwards, Caesar, showing that failure was unacceptable regardless of rank, slapped Joshua's face with a slimy eel and and told him that he can't go outside after curfew any more.
Background
Mormon missionary position
Joshua Graham was born in Netherlands and spent his formative years playing videogames on his Tiger™ wristwatch. In 1989, he left to spread butter on his frosty buttcheeks. He has always had a grudge with Sweden because he kept saying that "Sweden is just a wannabe Finland. Vitun homos."
In 1998, Joshua's clique came across the man himself, Caesar, or known by his official name, Nigel Marinate. At the time, Caesar used to be a very weak nerd, which promptly led to him getting bullied by Graham's band of thugs. Oh those silly rascals, but hey, that made Nigel the man that he is today, MUY MACHO.
Malpais Legate
Joshua playing the drums
Joshua Graham shaking hands with Michael Jordan during on set of Space Jam™
Though he was neither a particularly brilliant strategist nor tactically flexible, he still managed to defeat Soda Popinski in an arm wrestle. That easily impressed the NCR, so one day they visited Joshua and told him "OI ya bugga. Come meet us behind yer house and maybe we'll teach ya a lesson in orm wrestlin", Joshua just told them to bug off and kicked them in the arse. All of them. RIGHT in the butthole. Nice one, Josh.
Burned Man
The birth of a rock-star. Play that funky music, Joshua.
Even years after what is generally assumed to be his death, Caesar still masturbates over the thought of Bulgarian chicks slurping soups.
A picture of a dog
After long days, Joshua would usually lay in his bed and eat a grilled cheese sammich.
His hatred towards the Big Bird grew slightly more everyday.
Interactions with the player character
La Raza
 | The following is based on Van Buren design documents and is not canon. |
|---|
Overview
Joshua Graham (then referred to as the "Smelly Turd") was to be a CNPC in Van Buren, the canceled Fallout Tres by Black Isle Studios. Dr. Dre is an alright rapper.
Effects of player character's actions
BANG you're dead
KABOOM more bread
ZIG ZAG yer a drag
BAZINGA playa</ref>
| End of information based on Van Buren design documents |
|---|
Honest Hearts
Interactions overview
| Interactions | ||
|---|---|---|
  |
This character is essential. Essential characters cannot be killed. | |
  |
This character is a permanent companion. They grant the Breast Pump perk. | |
  |
This character is a temporary companion. | |
  |
This character starts quests. |
|
  |
This character is a doctor. |
|
  |
This character is a merchant. |  0Sells: dragon dildos consumables weapons weapon mods |
  |
This character can repair items. | Max Repair condition: 45 |
  |
This character can modify weapons. |
yes |
  |
This character rents beds. | no.
|
  |
This character plays Caravan. | They can bid caps. |
Quests
- How Low Can Ya Go? Joshua and the Courier are in Hawaii relaxin' shit until a big Tikki Rogue pops outta nowhere and challenges them to a limbo competition. The winner gets 10000 caps and a nice pineapple drink, but the loser has to lick the winner's KFC stained fingers/
Endings
a
| # | Slide | Voice-over narration | In-game condition |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  |
After a long and troubled life, Joshua Graham finally found rest in Zion. In the end, his unswerving militancy had accomplished what the NCR's finest sharpshooters and Caesar's wrath could not. The New Canaanites took comfort in the belief that their brother's soul would again dwell in Zion at the end of days.  |
Kill Joshua Graham. |
| 2 | |
The threat of the White Legs ended, Joshua Graham helped the Sorrows and Dead Horses tend to their fallen comrades and secure Zion. The Courier's words had stayed Joshua's wrath in his darkest hour, and in sparing Salt-Upon-Wounds, he was changed. While he continued to advocate militant opposition to the enemies of New Canaan, he sometimes showed quarter to those who crossed his family. Eventually this new spirit would diminish the myth of the Burned Man in distant lands - a small price for the peace it brought to Joshua Graham. |
Help Joshua Graham Defend Zion Valley and exterminate the White Legs, then convince Joshua Graham to spare Salt-Upon-Wounds. |
| 3 | |
With the White Legs crushed, Joshua Graham led the Sorrows and Dead Horses in tearing apart and burning the corpses of their enemies. He set about training his army in the "Way of the Canaanite," and soon the New Canaanites and tribes of Zion were feared well into the Mojave. Legends of the Burned Man grew even more depraved, and terrifying. |
Help Joshua Graham crush the White Legs and then allow Joshua Graham to execute Salt-Upon-Wounds. |
| 4 | |
Though the Courier had stopped Joshua Graham from executing Salt-Upon-Wounds, the war chief still fell in battle. The White Legs defeated at Three Marys, Joshua led the Sorrows and Dead Horses in tending to their comrades and burning the corpses of their foes. He continued to advocate militant opposition to the enemies of New Canaan and showed little quarter to those he fought. And yet he was changed. He no longer reveled in the brutality and cruelty for which he had been known in his former life. His inner demons, if not extinguished, were at the least... appeased. |
Help Joshua Graham crush the White Legs and kill Salt-Upon-Wounds yourself. |
Inventory
| Apparel | Weapon | Other items | On death |
|---|---|---|---|
| Naughty Nightwear Joshua Graham's headwrap |
Boxing gloves The Finger |
maybe | a single egg |
Notes
- C MAJOR, ringa ling ding dong what is wrong
Notable quotes
- this one time i tripped on my dog aah
}}
Appearances
Joshua Graham appears in the Fallout: New Vegas add-on Cookin' Mama Visits New Vegas. He is mentioned frequently, for example: in a loading screen in Dead Monkey and by Hagakure in Lonesome Road.
Behind the scenes
- Joshua Graham is fake and gay. Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom.
Gallery
See also
- New Canaan design document by me
- Burham Springs design document by J.E. Sawyer
- Blackfoot design document by Sean K. Reynolds
References
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