If you had your life to live over again, let me make a suggestion: Play in traffic.

Hadrian is a ghoul working as a stand-up comedian at the Atomic Wrangler casino in 2281.


Hadrian is a struggling stand-up comedian, whose main act is to insult people at the Atomic Wrangler casino. He is locked into working with the Garrets through a binding contract. He claims that he's "World Famous".

Interactions with the player characterEdit

Interactions overviewEdit

General Services Quests
Essential: noIcon cross
Companion: noIcon cross
Plays Caravan: noIcon cross
Merchant: noIcon cross
Repairman: noIcon cross
Doctor: noIcon cross
Rents bed/room: noIcon cross
Starts quests: noIcon cross
Involved in quests: yesIcon check


  • Talent Pool: He needs you to convince James Garret to release him from his contract to go work for The Tops. Once completed, the Tops sign bills him as the "Ghoul of Guffaws" and he performs at 1:00 pm.


Apparel Weapon Other items On death
Pre-War businesswear - Vegas gate key * -

* Key is added to his inventory after giving Tommy Torini's business card to Hadrian in Talent Pool.


  • When you first talk to him, he may mistake you for a heckler that Garret hired to "spice up" the show.
  • He sometimes carries the key to the Strip. If you want to take your chances, pickpocket him and then run to the gate (past the gatekeeper and others).
  • After he is recruited for The Tops, the Tops Promoter will insult you, claiming it to be a way to promote Hadrian.
  • When standing near Hadrian while he performs at the Atomic Wrangler he will make jokes depending on your S.P.E.C.I.A.L.
  • Hadrian is probably a reference to comedian Don Rickles, who was a friend of Rat Pack leader Frank Sinatra and known for his rapid-fire insult comedy.

Notable quotesEdit

  • "Whoa, baby! Am I looking at a mirror, or are you just that ugly?"
  • "It's great to be up here, looking down at all your smiling faces. That won't last long."
  • "If you had your life to live over again, let me make a suggestion: Play in traffic."
  • "Somebody told me the other day you were bright - I wasn't sure if he meant smart, or radioactive." (If the Courier has high Intelligence)
  • "Hey, not bad! Your timing's terrible and you got no style, but you might make it as a professional heckler."
  • " Sister/Buddy, you look tough enough to drink a pint of glowing water. Why don't you do us all a favor and try it?" (If the Courier has high Endurance)
  • "This Sister/Man right, she/he's got an/a angel/devil looking over her/his shoulder. If I were you I would get an restraining order." (Good or Evil Alignment)
  • "This guy's so sharp eyed that he cuts himself every time he blinks." (If the Courier has high Perception)
  • "And talk to me about your quick reflexes, this guy is so fast he can beat me to a punchline" (If the Courier has high Agility)
  • "Boy you're clumsy, you're so clumsy that when you slip in a shower, you fall up." (If the Courier has low Agility)
  • "I tell you have great eyes, you can spot a super mutant from three paces" (If the Courier has low Perception)
  • "The way I hear it you got brains to spare, sounds like a 7-10 split!" (If the Courier has low Intelligence)
  • "You know, some people have all the luck, some people. Not you."(If the Courier has low Luck)
  • "Hey, look at this this guy, these muscles are unreal. I mean it, they are imaginary." (If the Courier has low Strength)
  • "Whoa, you don't look too healthy, maybe you should see a doctor, or an undertaker."(If the Courier has low Endurance)
  • "My friend, you got style, grace and charm. The style of a feral ghoul, the grace of a super mutant and the charm of a deathclaw!" (If the Courier has low Charisma)
  • "I hear you got a ready wit, tell me when it's ready"
  • "Look at you, you look like a talent scout for a cemetery"(If the Courier has high Charisma)


Hadrian appears only in Fallout: New Vegas.