Heres my number one favourite....
Dr Li: We have to escape through the taft tunnels. Me: Are you fucking kidding me? Protect your saggy ass through about a mile of wrinkly old ghouls, Im off to join my dad. <Shoots Himself> Ryanurch (talk) 20:19, August 7, 2012 (UTC)
Colnel Autumn: You are hereby instructed to hand all over all materiels related to the purifier. Dad: Yipee-ki-yay motherfucker <Shoots colnel autumn> Ryanurch (talk) 20:19, August 7, 2012 (UTC)
Nathan:Now tell me dear boy...have you heard of The Enclave Me:Why the enclave?Over 500 members,sadistic and were a bitch to kill in fallout 2?Nope never heard of them...who are they? Werewolfhell 19:17, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
sarah lyons: when i first saw you in that alley in chevey chase... me: bitch you and the brotherhood stood me up. ThatWhiteboy98 04:05, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
dogmeat: woof! me: oh hell no!
Amata: Look I'm sorry ....you have to go Me: I just gave you the best sex you've ever had and I got the vault opened without killing anyone or destroying the air system and you're kicking me out on my ass? -Blue67impala
Moira Brown: How did the Mole rat repellent testing go? Me: Good, now lets see if its Moira repellent too.[Smacks Moira on the head with the stick, her head explodes] Me: Pwned!!
Moira Brown: How did the Mole rat repellent testing go? Me: It make their fucking heads explode. Can you, you know, bump it up a little? So it detonates people into a fine mushy paste thats good to eat? Fat Man Spoon 19:21, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Colonel autumn:What is the code for the Purifier
Me:uh... K-I-L-L YOU Werewolfhell 19:24, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Colonel autumn:What is the code for the Purifier?
Me: Give me a cookie and i'll tell you. By the way, why are you wearing Rick Astley's outfit? Fat Man Spoon 19:27, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
lol.anyway
President eden:Ah!its a pleasure to make your acquaintance!
Me:even though im gonna blow you up and give your FEv to the brotherhood?Shit Sucker
Werewolfhell 19:30, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Colonel autumn: What is the code for the Purifier?
Me: Um...Activate Self-Destruct Sequence. -Xandus the Legend
Moira Brown: How did the Mole rat repellent testing go?
Me: Let me demonstrate a live performance. (pulls out a Mole Rat and hits it with the stick.) -Xandus the Legend
Moira Brown:How the research going?
Me:im testing how many bullets a human skull takes before blowing up,and im needing a test subject Werewolfhell 19:43, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Colonel Autumn:How is the prisoner?
Me:HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! Rick astley? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn you god.
Moira Brown: How are those little hot poatoes?
Me: There doing great, you wanna see... oh wait, you mean the land mines? -Xandus the Legend
Moira Brown: Oh! you must be from the vault!
Me: WTF? I'm wearing raider armour bitch. Your security sucks. Fat Man Spoon 19:49, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Moria Brown: Oh! you must be from the vault!
Me:Uh....im wearing a 50 pound t-5lb armor that has miniguns attached to it..boy your security is fucked up noW! Werewolfhell 19:55, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
- I meant that the town doesn't care that you wear raider armour, even if they never met you. "We hate raiders" indeed. Fat Man Spoon 19:57, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
- True
Manya:But Me...i can spot a raider spy 50 miles away.
Me:Then you must be blind from one side,caus eim here biatch Werewolfhell 19:59, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Colonel Autumn: We have the purifer!
Me: Oh yeah? Well, All Your Base Are Belong To Us. -Xandus the Legend
Amata: Hey. Me: Fuck you Amata. I wish you weren't essential. Fat Man Spoon 20:30, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Talon Company Merc: Well now, if it isn't the little saint from the vault. We've been looking for you. Someone's put quite a price on your head. What? You think you can go around the Wasteland doing what you do and their isn't someone who won't take notice? Too bad I heard you could've been something useful. Ah well, time to die. The Lone Wanderer: Ah yeah, well bring it on bitch I'll ram this fucking Super Sledge right up your ass and then laugh as run home crying to mommy.
Colonel Autumn: What is the code to the purifier? Me: 42
female raider with squishy voice:its go time,vault guy:G.O.A.T. ? wait you cant be.......ron pearlman:holy shit
He doesn't say "it's GOAT time!" He says "it's go time". 24.46.53.220 17:09, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
well but it sounds its G.O.A.T. time
lug nut:give me the naughty nightwear me:your dressed like a raider and you want a pijama fuck you¡
Sarah Lyons: Well, looks like one of us is going to have to go into the purifier.
Me: I'll shoot you in the foot, then you shoot me, & the first one to cry loses. Pararaptor 08:33, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Gary: Hahaha! GAAARYYY!!!
Me: Uhhhhh... VAAAUUULT DWEELLEER!
lol to the sentence above meFawkes2.0 22:53, November 7, 2009 (UTC)
Dr. Zimmer: You wouldn't by any chance be... for hire?
Me: Fuck no. Go to Nova, she can help you out with that...
Dr. Zimmer: You wouldn't by any chance be... for hire?
I didnt know your gay
General Jingwei: *some Chinese conversation*
Me: THIS... IS... ANCHORAGE!!!
Brotherhood Outcast: Why don't you go bother the Brotherhood or something?
Me: Why don't you go away before I make ventilation holes in your head?
Brotherhood Soldier: Hail.
Me: Finally, some respect.
AngryNorwegianDude 13:15, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Random wastelander: We have nothing to say to one another.
Me: Well fuck it then, I just wanted to make sure you got to megaton safely but if you're gonna be such a bitch I'd better kill you now so I can spare some other poor sucked to listen to you. I'm 81.234.140.17, Adjust. 13:31, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
moria brown: oh you must be from the vault! me:how the fuck did you know im wearing t51b power armor you cant even see my eyes
moria brown:oh you must be from the vault! me:no i killed some vault person and took there clothes how did you know? 68.204.210.165 14:16, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Colonel autumn:Youve gotten far enough
Me:Dammit..../rick rolled again,ah well,lets fight.....Rick Astley Werewolfhell 14:50, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Me: How Much Are You To Hire? Nova: 120 Caps. Me: WHAT! WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANNA LAY IN BED NEXT TO YOU AND NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL FOR 120 CAPS!!!!! Silent.Killa78 >:) 06:20, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
- I would. :) Hope You've adjusted, I'm Gabriel 13:54, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- As would I. OutcastBOS
Me: Hey Charon, could you start up the purifier for me? Charon: Hell no, I'm not saving your sorry ass again. Me: Well you have have two choices. I can take all your weapons except for a rolling pin and send you to the giant fucking cage in the middle of Evergreen Mills and see how you handle it, or you can get your sorry ass in there and start purifying the shit out of the Potomac. Broeman 19:56, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
Reilly: On my way out, a supermutant jumped me.
Me: Fail.
Charon: I am told you are no longer hold my contract. Is this true?
Ahzruhkal: Yes it is, Charon.
BLAM!
Me: Fail.
Actually, I just want a button that makes the Lone Wanderer say 'fail', in & out of speech. Pararaptor 10:24, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
Lucas Simms(To Jericho:I love you boy.
Jericho:What the....?your think thats funny
Me:Aw...gay love
(Town turns hostile)
Me:You guys must love each other
(Killed by fat man wielding harden simms)
Me:Fail
Werewolfhell 15:08, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
Enclave soldier to Colonel Autumn: he'll pass out very soon. Me: Well at the moment i'm awake, and i'd like to know what you're gunna do while i'm unconscious
Colonel Autumn: what is the code for the purifier Me: catfish Colonel Autumn: you do not play games with me! Me: Games? Dibs on the racecar!!! Colonel Autumn: Guards! come in here show the prisoner what he recieves if he defies us. Me: Ok, I'll tell you Colonel Autumn: much better, what is the code? Me: i'll tell you if you can find me a cat, a non mutated fish, one of your coats, a corvega with a full tank of gas and a 24 hour head start. Colonel Autumn: Done, so what is the the code? Me: like hell im telling you Mr snip 11:04, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
Me: You can fucking leave now!
Breadbox(retarded slave in paradise falls): What? I've never met him.
Me: Dude, fuck you and YOUR MAMAS A WHORE!
Breadbox: *Pulls out a Fat man and kills the shit out of both of us*
Brotherhood Outcast: Hey local, shouldn't you be banging rocks together.
Me: Well, shouldn't you two be banging cocks together.
Brotherhood Outcast: *pulls out a Gatling laser and takes my head off* GaZam360 13:02, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
Reilly: On my way out, a supermutant jumped me.
Me: You got your ass kicked by a Super Mutant? Epic fail.
Charon: I am told you are no longer hold my contract. Is this true?
Ahzruhkal: Yes it is, Charon.
(Shoots him in head)
Me: Pwnd bitch.
Amata: I'm sorry, you have to leave.
Me: Okay let me get this straight, you QQ for my help, I get the job done without killing ANYONE who didn't attack me first, and you're booting me?
Amata: Look I'm sorry, you just have to go.
Me: Alright....Amata, listen. If any of the vault citizens need some good supplies, there's a stable part of the Wasteland called Old Olney, I'll mark it on your map, be sure to visit there often.
Autumn: Now... Give me the code for the purifier!
Me: Assphinctersayswhat.
Lucy West: So will you do it for me?
Me: Safe. Pararaptor 06:57, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Moira: How are those little hot potatoes?
Me: I've been trudging around in the wastes for months and there's nowhere to clean my underwear. How do you think they are? LVTDUDE 15:22, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
which is a cleaner version of....
Moira: How are those little hot potatoes?
Me: I've been trudging around in the wastes for months and there's nowhere to clean my underwear. It's like they've made their own gravy. You like gravy? LVTDUDE 15:33, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Gary: GAAAARRRRRY!
Me: Polo
Gary: GAAAAARRRRRY!
Me: POLO!!!
Gary: GAAAAARRRRRY!
Me: You suck at this game. BLAM! LVTDUDE 15:29, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
Jericho: What do you need, kid?
Me: Seriously? Well, thousand bottlecaps would be nice. And some anchovies. And some clean underwear. You have all that?
AngryNorwegianDude 19:37, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum. Snake47 20:08, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
- cool stories bros
(showdown between colonel autumn and me at the purifier) me: I will make you pay for all those rick rolls, EVERY ONE OF THEM!
Loneplunderer 22:55, 12 July 2009 (UTC)LoneplundererLoneplunderer 22:55, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
I want a game of penis with Liberty Prime. Pararaptor 07:34, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
Colonel Autumn: You again, I can't say im suprised, you and you're ilk seem hellbent on destroying everything our government has worked to achieve. Me: My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die! 24.255.86.193 23:09, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
John Henry Eden: Unlike humans, I am infallible.
Me: No John, you are the demons. Pararaptor 09:49, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
Amata:sorry but you have to leave.... Me:awwww..... but i need my three bucks to buy that fat man i alwys wanted as a boy... Number 101
Tenpenny Security Guard: Huh? am i Drunk? do i seem Drunk to you? Me: of course your fucking Drunk you have been Drinking to much i will tell your mum about this if you dont give me your Stuff. Tenpenny Security Guard: okay okay okay Me: Thanks now you can go out into the Wasteland and get Raped by a couple Fucking Deathclaws! Tenpenny Security Guard: Sure sounds Pleasant (Runs out to wasteland and gets raped by Deathclaws)Tenpenny Security Guard: AGH HELP Me: Epic Pwnage Captain Nexue
Chinese Soldier:(speaking chinese) me: (pokes him in the chest) Chinese Soldier: what are you doing me: im pressing one for english Deathclawpoop 00:10, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
Stanley: Go on, get out. Me: (pulls out lincoln's repeater and shots him four times in head and torso) No. Sasquatch99 00:20, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
Mutie:Time to send you in da Vats!!!!
Me: Hey wait. Does my dick get bigger if i mutate? Onipix 03:45, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Me: You still don't offer your services, do you? Silver: No sorry, I left that part of my life behind me. Me: Still a Whore, always will be...
Charon: I don't like the look of this place...
Me: Well I don't like the look of your face! Pararaptor 07:33, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
- Lucas Simms: Welcome to megaton (blah blah blah)
- Me: *says nothing*
- Lucas Simms: Quiet Type eh?
- Me: *says nothing*
- Lucas Simms: God I hope you ain't one of those psycopathic types
- Me: Huh? A psycopath? No no no... Wait... Does child molestation, necrophiliac, animal torture and drinking my many bottles of water in front of the beggars count?
- Lucas Simms: Nope, it's people who actually like instamash or noodles. Gabriel Cortez 09:45, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
Stop... Hammertime! Pararaptor 09:11, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
1:
- Charon: i don't like the look of this place.
- Me: hey...this is my house asshole.
2:
- Benjerman: Alright it's just you and me let's take out that pulse field!
- Me: Wait, wait, wait ,wait. You decided that we should should leave behind the Strike Team on our biggest objective? Who the Hell said that you can decide that anyway? I am the Captain of the Strike Team! Are you defying me! Mutiny! He's trying to take over the Strike Team!
- *All the American Soilders attack him but waste their time due to him being unkillabe.
3:
- Jerhico: Sorry kid not enough Supplies to go around.
- Me: the fuck who talking about we can survive forever without eating and you have Infinate Ammo.
- Clover; Sorry Honey. 3's a crowd.
- Me: Your a slave bitch your coming with me no matter what.
- Fawkes: I'm sorry I don't think your friend will like me.
- Me: Oh yeah. Who wouldn't like a Unkillable Super Mutant with a Gatling laser on their side?
- Charon: *Some shit about the Contract only helping me or something*
- Me: It doesn't say that. The Mercenary
Somah:They must like you,they at least let em keep my clothes Me:Thats because your fuck-ugly. The Second Wolf Brother. 14:28, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
- Colonel Autumn: What is the code for the Purifier?
Me: 4 8 15 16 23 42 ... (col. Autum looks in disbelife.) What... Take your pick. --Comrad Stalin 05:21, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
Toshiro Kago - (Japanese Language) Me - English Mother Fucker. Do you speak it? ---Drop-Zone- 05:28, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
- Amata: I'm sorry you have to leave.
- Me: Fuck. You.
- Me: What happened to everybody?
- Roy: Oh their dead in the Tympenny Basement.
- Well this really proves humans and Ghouls can live together in peace in harmony. Your an asshole. *Kills Roy* The Mercenary
Ugh this one is STUPID. Like, it was overlooked by the developers or something:
- Lucy West: What brings you back to Megaton?
- Me: I live here, asshole. Hooz
- (Alien babbles)
- Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOMMA!?
Alternative
- (Alien Babbles)
- Me: Fucking Green Prick Ragemoonheart 07:42, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
How do you spell Werners name again?
- Werner: Sorry Dog can't come.
- Me: Listen, the dogs coming. And so is The Super Mutant, The Slave, The Vault Kid, The Robot, The Raider, The Ghoul, The Brotherhood of Steel guy, and Annoying Guy Who Won't Shut Up. If you want me to sneak in there as a fake slave, spend 2 days doing annoying shit, and eventually cause a Riot, your as fucking moron. With all these people, we can kill Jesus himself. Now we are going to get everybody in that fucking hole you call home. (Big One eh?)The Mercenary
Amata: I'm Sorry you have to leave. Me: Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? You have got to be kidding me... Wait a minute. Really?!
Anna Holt: At first I resisted, but eventually decided to give in and help the Enclave. Me: Resist this bitch! (Perforator shot to the head)
How about the best line already IN the conversations? Autumn: Now... Give me the code for the Purifier! Wanderer: No really, Fuck you! Pgoon 21:59, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hellllll yesssss. I totally forgot about that. Extremofire 05:43, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
Gallows:..... Me:Suck it
Dad:son , you were supposed to stay in the vault where its safe Me: i searched the whole fricking wasteland to find you , killed deathclaws got KILLED BY DEATHCLAWS ,getting shot at by enclave ,accidently killing dogmeat just to find you and WAT DO YOU SAY
BOS Outcast: (typical outcast insult) ME: You know i routinely kill your friends and chop off their fingers, right?
---
Christine Kendall: Hey, um, why are you talking to me?
LW: Well, I don't mean to be foward, but how about after class, you let me insert my quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber?
Alien: (alien language)
LW: Say what again!
Alien: (alien language)
LW: (Pointing Paulson's Revolver at forehead) I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker, say what one more God damn time!
Amata: Quit joking around, this is serious!
LW: Babe, I AM serious. You in my room has been a long-standing fantasy of mine.
Autumn: Now... Give me the code to the purifier!
LW: Your mother's a whore, Trebek!
Autumn: Now... Give me the code to the purifier!
LW: That's a nice jacket, Autumn. Tell me... do they make it for MEN!? AHAHA!
Jingwei: (speaks Chinese)
LW: (speaks gibberish)
Jingwei: (stares, jaw agape)
LW: Yeah, you get my point.
Dukov: You need to drink more!
LW: You're right!
Sentinel Lyons: You look like you've seen battle. Come, sit awhile.
LW: Only if you're on my lap, Sarah.
Wastelander: Mess with me, and we're going to have a problem.
LW: I have a problem. I can't stop shooting generic NPC assholes like you. (Bang!)
Mex: So who the fuck are you?
LW: They call me MIRV. Want to know why?
Gary 47: Gary?
LW: GARY!
Gary 32: GAAARY!!!
LW: GAAARY!!!
Gary 1: Gary!
LW: Gary! Gary, Gary. Gary?
Gary 21: Gary?
LW: No, fuck you.
BoS Outcast: Stand back, local, no guessing what you've got breeding on you.
LW: It was only your mother last night. Hi-oh!
Enclave Hellfire Trooper: Attack pattern Gamma!
LW: Are you fucking kidding me? That NEVER works!
Colin Moriarty: So what'll it be? A couple of caps to find out where your daddy is?
LW: How about a couple of bullets? I can deposit them directly into your skull.
Jericho: Say what you want, then get the fuck out of my face.
LW: You look uncomfortable. What, did you have a date last night, Tinkerbell?
And, la piece de resistance
Amata: I'm sorry. You have to leave.
LW: This shit AGAIN?!
Sign your damn posts.
Hooz: What does it take to hire you?
Nova: For you? 120 caps. Up front.
Hooz: [Barter] How about 5? Extremofire 08:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
Wadsworth: Welcome home sir LW: I've been here for the last 9 hours organizing shit on my shelves.
Wadsworth: Its good to see you alive and well sir LW: For the love of God, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Jack "the drifter" Vance 16:35, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
Dad: I think we need to talk. I've been...hearing things. Things that have happened out there. Megaton destroyed...you...you didn't have anything to do with that, did you?
Me: Yes, I blew up Megaton. Of course, that was after I brutally murder everyone in the city with my Ripper.
Dad: How could you do such a horrible thing?!
Me: There's an old saying; when life gives you lemons...BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!
(kills dad with Ripper)
This is sappy but I don't care.
Dad: What is it son?
LW: I love you Dad.
Jack "the drifter" Vance 18:56, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
- Amata:im sorry, but im afraid you have to leave LW:are you fucking insane? ive killed so many people out in the wasteland, ive beaten super mutant overlords to shit with a baseball bat, and you think you can tell me to leave? just like that?
Amata:its nothing personal, but we need to move on, and we cant move on with you around LW:very valid point, but can you move on without legs?*rev's mauler* Amata:what...what are you doing?AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*bloody scream roars through entire vault and room covers in blood* LW:*pickpockets a overlord and gives him the location of the vault, approximately 3 hours later* Super Mutant Overlord:what...this?...note...to place!*super mutant overlord takes 500 overlords to the vault*Toolazytomakeaaccount 21:56, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
Dad:*Some crap about the bomb exploding in Megaton*
Michael(Me): They deserved it. What self-respecting person would live near a bomb? Besides, being evil is nice.
Dad: You weren't evil enough to hire Jericho.
Doctor Li:*cough*owned....... LW556DCJ 22:28, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
Dad: good son now come back up so I can give you the fuses.
VD: Why didn't you give them to me in the first place?
RASICTalk 22:35, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
When Clover asks if she can do something for me, I'd ask her to get my toe jammies out.Pinkynperky04 22:36, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
Cromwel: (ranting about Atom for 3 days straight) Me: say Atom one more time, Paliden or not, and i'll be playing sledghammer golf with your skull!! Hero of the wastes
Lucas Simms: Don't make me waste good bullets on your sorry hide.
Me: POWERPAUEWNCH!!!
Lucas Simms: AAAAAGH!!! MY BLOOD! He punched out all my blood! --24.72.49.251 03:41, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
Scribe Rothchild: (Something to the effect of you need to go into an uncharted, probably dangerous, and isolated Vault in order to get a device that might be there.) Myself: So how big of a squad are we talking about here? Like five men? Because I was thinking ten. Scribe Rothchild: Oh no, we can't spare the manpower. Myself: Well screw that. I'm not going in there. Good luck with the whole Enclave thing. Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Omega-Ginger
This one's not as funny as your guys' but I really wish you could do this:
Nova: I'll sleep with you for 120 caps.
Me: You dont have to be a whore anymore. I'm paying 1000 caps to Moriarty for you to be free. I want you to...marry me (:
now for a funny one:
Moriarty: Information for caps. Pay me 100 and i'll tell you where your dad is
Me: Uhh. No thanks. I'll just be going now.(Proceed to kick Moriarty in the stomach, put a bag over his head, take him to your house, and torture him until he spits out the information) Darth Roxas 21:18, January 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Nah, I'd pay 100 caps to skip some dumb cutscene.--None223 02:11, April 8, 2012 (UTC)
Raider: Let's TEAR HIM APART! Me: (Pulls out Gatling Laser) Yeah good luck with that mate. -asdeqw
Colonel autumn: how's are little prisoner doing. Me: how the fuck did you survive that radiation my dad better be alive. - PACIFIST SADIST
Over all I would agree we me in most conversations with my self.
SaintPain→ Look for me Dec 22 Y'all know what I'm say'n. 04:11, September 22, 2012 (UTC)