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This is a transcript for dialogue with Edwin Brotch.

Topics Edit

CG03BrotchA1 Wow! That's what I've always wanted to be. My dreams are finally coming true! Neutral 30 Yes, um, it's refreshing to see such, ah, youthful enthusiasm. {he's very confused that you'd be so happy about the GOAT results} 1
Neutral 50 Good to know that the G.O.A.T. occasionally gets it right. You know what they say about monkeys and typewriters... 2
Neutral 50 Well, I'm glad things turned out so well for you. I hope your classmates find their results half as satisfying. 3
CG03BrotchA2 Whatever. I just answered randomly. Is that how you got stuck with your job? Disgust 50 Ha. Closer to reality than you might think. 4
Neutral 50 Listen, I was just as obnoxious at your age. I didn't take the G.O.A.T. seriously and look where I ended up. 5
Neutral 50 Just between you and me? The whole test is a joke. 6
Neutral 50 If you don't like the results, I can make your G.O.A.T. come out any way you want. Just let me know. 7
CG03BrotchA3 That can't be right! The stupid test got it all wrong! Neutral 50 Listen, I was just as obnoxious at your age. I didn't take the G.O.A.T. seriously and look where I ended up. 8
Neutral 50 Just between you and me? The whole test is a joke. 9
Neutral 50 If you don't like the results, I can make your G.O.A.T. come out any way you want. Just let me know. 10
CG03BrotchStartA1 Ohh... I'm feeling kind of sick, Mister B. Guess I'll have to reschedule... Happy 15 Didn't work on your dad either, did it? {dryly} 11
Neutral 50 Now unless you have something else you want to discuss, take a seat and prepare for the 2274 edition of the G.O.A.T. 12
CG03BrotchStartA2 Come on. I don't really have to take this stupid test, do I? Happy 15 Listen. I like your dad. I might even like you if I wasn't your teacher. {in a low voice} 13
Neutral 50 So here's what I'm going to do. If you want to skip the test, just tell me how you want it to come out and I'll take care of it for you. 14
CG03BrotchStartA3 Sure, I'm ready. I bet I'll ace it! Happy 25 I'm sure you will. Especially since it's multiple choice with no wrong answers... {dryly} 15
Neutral 50 We'll start as soon as everyone's found a seat. Good luck. 16
CG03BrotchStartB1 Cool. Let me see the results and I'll fill it out myself. Neutral 15 Well... all right. Here, take a look. {in a low voice} 17
CG03BrotchStartB2 The Overseer's bullshit makes my head spin. Can't you do it for me? Anger 20 Watch your language. 18
Disgust 15 And yes, I can do it for you. I can even hold your hand if you'd like. {in a low voice} 19
Neutral 50 I just need to know what kinds of things you're interested in. 20
CG03BrotchStartB3 I think I'd rather just take the G.O.A.T. myself and take my chances. Surprise 50 Good for you. Don't worry, you'll do fine. As soon as everyone's found a seat, we'll get started. {surprised} 21
CG03BrotchStartC1 I love using the computers and talking to my father's patients in the clinic. Neutral 15 A budding science boy, eh? Done and... done. There. You're all set. If anyone asks, you took the G.O.A.T. during detention yesterday, okay? {in a low voice} 22
CG03BrotchStartC2 Well, I shoot my BB Gun any chance I get. I can fix that thing blindfolded, too. Surprise 15 I'm sure I didn't just hear you admit to owning an unauthorized weapon. Let's just get this filled out... there. All set. {in a low voice} 23
Neutral 50 If anyone asks, you took the G.O.A.T. during detention yesterday, okay? {in a low voice} 24
CG03BrotchStartC3 Look. I like blowing stuff up. I just love that... "kaboom"! Ya know? Surprise 15 Oooo-kay... I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that... Anyway, done and done. There. You're all set. {in a low voice} 25
Neutral 50 If anyone asks, you took the G.O.A.T. during detention yesterday, okay? {in a low voice} 26
CG03BrotchStartC4 Mr. B, if I told you what my "interests" are, you’d have me locked up. Happy 15 I may know more about your extracurricular activities than you think. But not officially, of course. Officially, I'm completely oblivious. {in a low voice} 27
Neutral 50 Anyway. Done and... done. You're all set. If anyone asks, you took the G.O.A.T. during detention yesterday, okay? {in a low voice} 28
GREETING GREETING Surprise 30 Surely you have someplace better to be than hanging around my classroom? 29
GREETING Happy 50 They say the G.O.A.T. never lies... According to this, you're slated to be the next vault chaplain. God help us all. 30
GREETING Surprise 50 Well, according to this, you're in line to be trained as a Laundry Cannon Operator. First time for everything, indeed. 31
GREETING Surprise 50 It's nice to know I can still be surprised. Pedicurist! I might have guessed manicurist or even masseuse, but apparently you're a foot person. 32
GREETING Happy 50 It says here you're perfectly suited for a career as a Waste Management Specialist. A specialist, mind you, not just a dabbler. Congratulations! 33
GREETING Surprise 50 Huh. "Vault Loyalty Inspector"... I thought that had been phased out decades ago. Well, sounds like a job right up your alley, hmm? 34
GREETING Happy 50 Interesting. "Clinical Test Subject"... sounds like something you should excel at. I guess you and your dad will be working together. 35
GREETING Happy 50 Looks like the diner's going to get a new Fry Cook. I'll just say this once: hold the mustard, extra pickles. Ha ha ha. 36
GREETING Happy 50 Thank goodness. We're finally getting a new Jukebox Technician. That thing hasn't worked right since old Joe Palmer passed. 37
GREETING Surprise 50 Well, well. Pip-Boy Programmer, eh? Stanley will finally have someone to talk shop with. 38
GREETING Surprise 50 Huh. I wonder who will be brave enough to be your first customer as the vault's new Tattoo Artist? I promise it won't be me. 39
GREETING Surprise 50 Apparently you're management material. You're going to be trained as a Shift Supervisor. 40
Surprise 25 Could I be talking to the next Overseer? Stranger things have happened. 41
GREETING Surprise 100 Wow. Wow. Says here you're going to be the vault's Marriage Counselor. 42
Happy 50 Almost makes me want to get married, just to be able to avail myself of your services. 43
GREETING Happy 50 I always thought you'd have a career in professional sports. You're the new vault Little League coach! Congratulations. 44
GREETING Surprise 50 Looks like you'll be putting your ... physical talents to good use as the vault's new Masseuse. 45
GREETING Happy 50 All set, eh? You shouldn't have had any trouble with this little formality. 46
GREETING Surprise 50 You managed to answer all the questions, I see. That's a good start. Maybe a bit more than I expected given your grades. 47
GREETING Happy 30 Well, you made it. All set for the G.O.A.T.? Trust me, it really isn't that bad. Just something everybody has to go through. 48
GREETING Neutral 30 Do you mind? I know to you it's just meaningless jabber, but I'm actually trying to teach here. {dryly} 49
GREETING Surprise 30 Feel free to stick around if you want, but I don't want you disrupting the test. 50
GREETING Anger 30 As soon as everyone takes their seats we can get started. 51
GREETING Anger 30 No more excuses from you children! Go in and sit down. 52

Conversation Edit

CG03BrotchSpeech CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Well, now that everyone has managed to find the classroom, we can finally get started. 53
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 No talking, and keep your eyes to yourselves. 54
CG03BrotchSpeech Disgust 25 Yes, I'm talking to you Mr. DeLoria! 55
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Unless anyone else has an insightful comment, let's get started. 56
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 1. A frenzied vault scientist runs up to you and yells, "I'm going to put my quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber!" 57
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 What's your response? 58
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 2. While working as an intern in the clinic, a patient with a strange infection in his foot stumbles through the door. 59
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 The infection is spreading at an alarming rate, but the doctor has stepped out for a while. What do you do? 60
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 3. You discover a young boy lost in the lower levels of the vault. 61
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 He’s hungry and frightened, but also appears to be in possession of stolen property. What do you do? 62
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 4. Congratulations! You’ve made one of the Vault 101 baseball teams. Which position do you prefer? 63
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 5. Your grandmother invites you to tea, but you’re surprised when she gives you a pistol, and orders you to kill another vault resident. 64
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 What do you do? 65
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 6. Old Mister Abernathy has locked himself in his quarters again, and you’ve been ordered to get him out. How do you proceed? 66
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 7. Oh no! You’ve been exposed to radiation, and a mutated hand has grown out of your stomach! What’s the best course of treatment? 67
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 8. A fellow Vault 101 resident is in possession of a Grognak the Barbarian comic book, issue number 1. You want it. 68
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 What's the best way to obtain it? 69
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 9. You decide it would be fun to play a prank on your father. You enter his private restroom when no one is looking, and... 70
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 Question 10. Who is, indisputably, the most important person in Vault 101: 71
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 He who shelters us from the harshness of the atomic Wasteland, and to whom we owe everything we have, including our lives? 72
CG03BrotchSpeech Surprise 50 Pencils down, people. That's it. The infamous G.O.A.T.! 73
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 I'm sure most of you didn't find it so bad. Others, well, there are always openings in the maintenance department. 74
CG03BrotchSpeech Happy 50 Don't forget to hand in your tests before you leave. You don't want to know what happens to people who "fail" the G.O.A.T. 75
CG03BrotchSpeech Happy 50 You can have the rest of the day off, to celebrate or to pray, as the situation warrants. 76
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 50 I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early. 77
CG03BrotchSpeech Neutral 25 Well, I'll be damned... That little so-and-so... why didn't I think of that when I was sixteen? {muttering to himself, while looking over Wally's test} 78
CG03DemoBrotchHello CG03DemoBrotchHello Neutral 50 You too, missy. Time for the G.O.A.T. Find a seat and wait for instructions. 79
CG03DemoBrotchHello Neutral 50 You too, mister. Time for the G.O.A.T. Find a seat and wait for instructions. 80
CG03FreddieBrotchConv CG03FreddieBrotchConv Anger 50 And if your friends decided to jump into the reactor, would you join them? Get your posterior in a chair immediately. 81
CG03TurnInTestTopic CG03TurnInTestTopic Happy 50 Nothing for you to worry about, Miss Almodovar. Let's see... Very well done. Looks like it's the supervisory track for you. 82
CG03TurnInTestTopic Happy 50 Ah, Butch. Can I admit that I've been waiting for this day for a long, long time? Allow me to savor the moment. 83
CG03TurnInTestTopic Happy 50 Now then, let's see... Hmm... Really?! ... Interesting... {reading to himself} 84
CG03TurnInTestTopic Surprise 100 You've surprised me, Butch. I didn't think you had it in you. Hairdresser! Who would have thunk it? {hugely amused} 85
CG03TurnInTestTopic Neutral 50 Just calm down a minute, Paul. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. {soothingly} 86
CG03TurnInTestTopic Happy 50 Let's see. Mmm hmm. Yep, just as I thought. You're slated for the engineering track. Congratulations, Mr. Hannon. You've passed the G.O.A.T. {reading to himself} 87
CG03TurnInTestTopic Surprise 50 Science? Ah, well... perhaps. Let's see what the G.O.A.T. says... {reading to himself} 88
CG03TurnInTestTopic Happy 75 Well, well. Maintenance department! I hope your mother will be pleased... I'm sure Stanley will be. {trying to stay serious while laughing to himself} 89
CG03TurnInTestTopic Happy 25 Now, now, Susie. Is that any way to talk about the infallible G.O.A.T.? {not really serious} 90
CG03TurnInTestTopic Neutral 25 You will be... ahem... You'll be going into Teaching. No doubt due to your gift for communication. Don't worry, it isn't as bad as it sounds. {looking over the test. "ahem" = clears throat in awkward pause} 91
CG03TurnInTestTopic Surprise 50 Don't you want to find out what you got? 92
GOODBYE I have to go now. Anger 75 I'll expect to see you in class, Freddie. No excuses. Run along now, son. 93
HELLO HELLO Neutral 100 Go ahead and take a seat so we can start. 94
HELLO Happy 50 You did fine. You should celebrate with your friends. 95
HELLO Neutral 100 All finished? 96
HELLO Surprise 50 Yes? {with raised eyebrows you don't REALLY want to talk to me, right?} 97
IdleChatter Idle Chatter Neutral 50 Let's go people. The Overseer's patience is... limited. 98
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 You don't want to be the first class in history to fail the G.O.A.T., do you? 99
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 Take your seats so we can get started. 100
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 Come on, people. Find your seats. 101
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 Let's not keep the Overseer waiting. 102
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 Come on, Freddie! Finish up already. 103
Idle Chatter Disgust 25 Freddie, do you understand what "pencils down" means? 104
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 Freddie, it's multiple choice. You can't really still be thinking about it. 105
Idle Chatter Neutral 50 I don't have all day, Freddie. The Overseer's waiting for these. 106